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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have cancelled Christmas?

111 replies

GoldQuintessenceAndMyrrh · 22/12/2009 22:16

Christmas is for the kids right? It is something we do to make it magical, to give our children happy memories, of family, presents, good food, nice atmosphere, isnt it?

Well, I have cancelled it. Tomorrow I will take the kids presents back to the shop. I have thrown the Christmas tree out into the garden, and I am not going to clean, or make anything nice. We are not going to eat what I have baked, and forget cooking.

My kids dont deserve it. They are little horrors, and maybe, as I have threatened if they continue their apalling behaviour, their spitting and their hair pulling, their fighting and their winding up, there will be no presents.

Well guess what, there wont be. Christmas is off, as I am going to follow through with my threat.

I have been "Nice Mummy" for too long.
Now, watch me go into "bad mummy mode".

It.Is.War.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 22/12/2009 22:17

what have they done?

jabberwocky · 22/12/2009 22:18

I think you need to pour yourself a very large G&T.

blametheparents · 22/12/2009 22:18

Uh Oh

Do you mean it?

Kids must have been very bad

merrycompo · 22/12/2009 22:18

you threw the xmas tree out

yabvu

is this a joke?

Georgimama · 22/12/2009 22:18

Blimey. Do you really really have the balls to see this through for the next three days? Are you prepared for the posts of your children on "stately homes" threads of the future?

Only proceed on this basis if you really really are going to be able to see "bad mummy" mode through. I would crack, and have ruined Christmas for nothing.

AKMD · 22/12/2009 22:19

Christmas is about celebrating the brith of Jesus, right? So take the little horrors to church - midnight mass, an early morning service, a mid-morning children's service, an afternoon service and an evening service should do the trick nicely.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 22/12/2009 22:19

well hope your prepared ;) hard hat ready?

MollieO · 22/12/2009 22:20

Is this a literary or film reference I'm missing or for real?

Original poster
GoldQuintessenceAndMyrrh · 22/12/2009 22:22

Today at my cousins house I had my boobs constantle "beep"ed, I had rolled up paper thrown at me.
Ds2 (4)was constantly bashing my cousins piano. He was laying on the floor trying to kick at items on her coffee table, he was laying in the chair trying to kick over her flower pots in the window, he was kicking his brother, spitting at his brother, spitting at my cousins daughter, playing with light switches, and the list goes on.

DS1 (7) tried to sneak into my cousins bedroom twice, told not to go in there the first time, told off the second time. He blindfolded himself and started chasing my cousins daughter, he was told not to do this, as he could knock something over, or fall into the hot fireplace. He said "ok", blindfolded himself and continued. He was refusing to go play, when the grown ups were talking about some grown up issues, insisting to sit with us. In the end both me, my sister, my cousin and my aunt had to tell him to please go and play. It was a nightmare.

We had to drop something off to my parents on the way home, whilst there, I realized my parents had gone to bed, and I explained they had to go and wait downstairs in my sisters flat as their grandparents were sleeping. I did not realize this, but they had both returned to my parents flat (I had to go the the floor above) laughing and squeeling, with no regard to what I had just said. My father is disabled, and with a sleep problem, if he wakes up, he wont fall asleep. He will spend the night in his bed, and as he is paralyzed, it is most uncomfortable. I really thought they went downstairs to my sisters flat when I told them to, as last time I checked, they were both headed down the staircase.

They just dont listen to me. It looks like it is some sick sport, to wind me up and make my life miserable. I appear to have lost control. It has been like this for the last month, and I am at my wits end.

So yes, I mean it.

OP posts:
ScottishBoris · 22/12/2009 22:22

Ooooh what ages and what have they done? My CM advised that my two have been complete brats today and I think, had they been older (3 and 4) I may have threatened this.

Depends what they've done, if they've been complete I would agree...

GypsyMoth · 22/12/2009 22:23

well i agree with her....am guessing her dc are old enough to know about the stress xmas places on adults?? yet they still carry on....

op,am tempted to join you.....in fact,have threatened....

Original poster
GoldQuintessenceAndMyrrh · 22/12/2009 22:23

Not a joke. I have just had enough. I might as well not be their mum.

The tree was not yet decorated, it is the custom to decorate it on either the 22nd or the 23rd.

OP posts:
Georgimama · 22/12/2009 22:24

My husband has just asked me to tell you this.

When my husband was 3 his mother had a nervous breakdown and physically attacked him. Father was trying to hold everything together, cat accidently knocked tree over, his poor father snapped and put tree in the bin.

My husband has dreaded Christmas every year ever since. Only now are we starting to have a "normal" Christmas.

Seriously don't do this.

TootaLaFruit · 22/12/2009 22:25

What was the straw the broke the camel's back, Gold? What did they do ???

For what its worth, I don't think YABU, but I would call their bluff, wait until they're begging for forgiveness and promising all sorts of good behaviour, then gradually re-introduce the festivities.

As a child who could be very naughty, along with my sisters, I know that it was only when my Mum went mental and did something crazy (ripping up the carpet because we'd let the cats pee on it, or threatening to leave then getting in the car and driving off - it was only round the block for 20 mins but we thought she'd gone forever) that we really sat up and paid any attention.

I think what you're doing will work, but you must give them the chance to make amends and have Christmas restored

nancy75 · 22/12/2009 22:26

what did they do when you threw the xmas tree out?

GypsyMoth · 22/12/2009 22:27

alls not lost

have they said anything about the tree?? modified their behaviour?

blametheparents · 22/12/2009 22:27

But cancelling Xmas won't really solve it.

I know they say that you should carry thru your threats, but I don't think it is really reasonable to cancel Xmas.
Maybe start by taking them home, talking to them and explain that things are gonna change.
Start afresh tomorrow morn.

Bad weather is awful now, difficult to get out to play now as snow is all icy and dirty and my two were going a bit stir crazy today. But I had so mush to do at home, and DD poorly so couldn't have her outside.

Original poster
GoldQuintessenceAndMyrrh · 22/12/2009 22:27

I am not sure they realized the tree is out. I did not make a big point about it. Just carried it out and threw it into the garden. (it is 2m40, and still "wrapped")

OP posts:
merrycompo · 22/12/2009 22:27

okay

I see you're stressed but...

did they get any fresh air? Were they not just excited to be at grandparents house and cousins house, for a 4 and 7 yr old boy xmas is beyond exciting, they are obviously hyped up to the max

how about a long walk/run around tomorrow, tell them that if they behave impecably the tree will come back in and you can all decorate it together

you will shoot urself in the foot taking everything back

Georgimama · 22/12/2009 22:27

I'm sorry, but they sound like over excited four and seven year olds to me. Their behaviour wasn't OK, but it wasn't satanic either. YABU.

GypsyMoth · 22/12/2009 22:28

bloody schools i blame!! hype them all up on christmas excitement,then let them loose a week before,leaving us all to pick up the pieces or go quietly insane!!

Original poster
GoldQuintessenceAndMyrrh · 22/12/2009 22:29

They have been crying, because I pretty much flipped when we got home. They are adamant they did not do anything wrong, allthough they admitted to my dh ever single thing I said they had done. Ds2 is just saying he wont give me any christmas presents because I shouted at him.

OP posts:
Rosebud05 · 22/12/2009 22:29

What Georgimama says. Unfortunately, it's not just this Christmas that will be affected if you go through with this but every Christmas (yours, your kids and everyone else involved) for many, many years.
Tomorrow is another day. Firm talking to first thing, explain how much their behaviour is upsetting you, take 'em out somewhere where they can run about and wear themselves out, remind yourself that it will be all over soon.
I find this time of year stressful and emotionally wrought, so can sympathise with feeling so unappreciated.
Take care. When things get rough here, I remind myself of how true the saying "the only thing that you're in control of is yourself" is.

merrycompo · 22/12/2009 22:30

is your dh working tomorrow?

why not let him take some of the strain?

nancy75 · 22/12/2009 22:30

i can see your point, but would never be brave enough to do it.
some of the things do sound like they were over excited and got a bit carried away, but things like spitting would really make me angry and it is something they need to know they really must not do.

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