Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbour is being unreasonable?

101 replies

MissGreatBritain · 19/12/2009 14:09

Bit of background - he and his wife are in their 50s, have no children, or pets and appear to hate both. So the neighbour has an immaculate garden. He often trims trees that overhang his garden from ours and throws the leaves and branches back over to us. Also he cut the hedge between our houses so much that they can now see straight into our living room (without asking if we minded). Said no to 6 yr old DS when DS tried to get his ball back which had gone over the fence (a once in a lifetime occurance may I add). So basically he's a miserable old bastard.

Since last year we have had a cat, which appeared in our garden as a stray and which we kept. Recently we noticed that the cat appeared to be pooing behind the shed. Only today I noticed that the poo is pretty much spread around, and then I noticed that some of it is on ledge, much higher up. Then it occured to me - the cat is obviously pooing in the neighbour's garden and he is randomly throwing it back into our garden. I know that cat poo is disgusting, but to throw it over the fence is a bit much - it's not like we can stop the cat doing it. So do you think he's right or wrong? And if you're with me and think he's wrong, what shall I do about it? (I'm tempted to wrap it up with a merry christmas tag on it and leave it on his doorstep, but maybe that's not really on )

OP posts:
LuckySalem · 19/12/2009 14:12

Its a hard one this is.

I've got cats and have told all my neighbours that if they catch the cats squating in their garden to send them back out. So far they've all said they've never seen it and they do seem to use their litter boxes.

I think he's right to be annoyed - however, throwing it over fence is just yuck.

If I were you, I'd go tell him your very sorry that this has happened, can he please stop throwing it over and offer to clean his garden of cat poo once a week,

ArizonaBarker · 19/12/2009 14:15

Your cat, your poo.

Sorry.

nannynobnobs · 19/12/2009 14:18

He sounds a complete pill. I would write him a note saying you find his poo- throwing unhygienic and unpleasant (and passive-aggressive, and weird, and provocative...) and offer to buy some cat deterrent products for his garden.
If there is a fence all the way along, a very good cat deterrent is to run a wire along a couple of inches above the top. Cat can't stand or walk on the fence basically. My grandpa did this and cats never go in his garden.

Pikelit · 19/12/2009 14:20

In all other respects the bloke sounds like a miserable bastard. But I don't think anyone should have to tolerate other people's cat poo. Would I throw it back? No. It does seem rather anal. But then I have a terrier who is a splendid deterrent and cats don't poo in on my laand!

timelordvictorious · 19/12/2009 14:21

That is gross!

There is a cat that comes into our garden at night (bravest cat in the world as we have two Rottweilers) and does it's stuff. To be honest, it doesn't bother me hugely as I already have to do a daily poo patrol - it's grim, but something I HAVE to do. If I didn't have the dogs though, it would bother me.

I would go round and apologise. Explain that you can't watch the cat all the time, and offer to go around every few days to pick up. Make it clear that throwing it back over is really anti-social -I presume you have children who play in the garden? Use this to highlight why what he did is disgusting not on.

Good luck. Neighbour stuff can get heated.

Pikelit · 19/12/2009 14:21

PS. How can chucking shit around be "passive aggressive"? Shurely, it's just plain aggressive-aggressive!

timelordvictorious · 19/12/2009 14:23

its

Tortington · 19/12/2009 14:24

the branches thing is a legal thing too - he is being a pedant no doubt - but i think im right in saying that you can cut a neighbours over hanging garden as long as you thrown back the cuttings or offer them back to the neighbour.

throwing cat shit is odd though, if you can do the wire thing that someone suggested

Pikelit · 19/12/2009 14:26

Oh fuck...it is of course, its. How mortifying. And me one of the Grammar Police normally.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 19/12/2009 14:28

He's an idiot, he's totally unreasonable and I would have said something to him about the hedge, chucked the branches back over and marched round and demanded the ball.

But I think he's right to chuck the poo back your way. Why should his garden be covered in shit out of the arse of your animal? Filthy.

However, you do have DS so tell old guy to be an adult, stop it and you'll rid his garden of cat poo. Also, why you're there, ask him why he is so hostile.

Heated · 19/12/2009 14:30

We have some 50ish, child-hating neighbours (the dcs are honestly very good but they object if they can hear them in the garden) and I too would be cross if they did this as it's just gross. I'd be doing my level best to keep the cat out of their garden - not easy I know with cats - but possibly planting a spite hedge or putting up wire as Nannynn suggested and tell neighbours the measures you've taken so he won't have to "throw excrement over the fence"

And then I'd plant some leylandii to restore privacy.

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 19/12/2009 14:30

He sounds just lovely.

But.. I would offer to do the wire thing on his fences - just to keep the peace (as cat poo is gross).

RorysRacingReindeer · 19/12/2009 14:33

how does he know it's your cat's poo. There are loads of cats and foxes round here and i have failed to identify whose poo it is or whose cat is responsible

lunaestellina · 19/12/2009 14:35

Cats poo is gross...if I let my dogs poo on someones front garden I'd be expected to pick it up but for some unknown reason its seen as acceptable for cats to shit wherever they please and the owners never have to dispose of it, I never get it in the back garden cos of the cat hating dogs but do get it in the flower bed out the front, I just lay thorns all over it to prick their little paws and hope that keeps them off!
That said do think the neighbour is being a bit of dick, just chuck it back if you dont like him anyway it'll be funny to see his reaction!

Marne · 19/12/2009 14:35

I hate cats pooing in my garden and it makes me , if i knew who's cat it was i would be temped to make them remove it from my garden. I know you can not control where your cat poo's but its not nice when you have a cat pooing in your strawberry bush.

I have nothing against pets (i have a dog), i just don't like other peoples cats pooing in my garden and digging up my plants.

We have a hedge between our garden and our neighbours which we cut, i sweep up any clippings apart from the bits that land in his garden, he's always greatful for us cutting his hedge and never moans about the clippings lefty in his garden.

nannynobnobs · 19/12/2009 14:38

It was passive aggressive because he could have come round and said something instead of throwing turds and waiting for them to be found!
I agree, surely it could be another cat, or more than one?
(Listening to RATM and watching Nigella... strange mix to be sure)

GrumpyWhenWoken · 19/12/2009 14:39

that's a good point Rory, how do they know it's your cat poo?

ILoveGregoryHouse · 19/12/2009 14:40

It's is a contraction of it is, surely. Therefore Pikelit is correct. Its is a possesive pronoun.

Re the cat poo. Well, it's not nice and I would offer to clear it up. But your neigbour sounds a bit of an arse so you may get short shrift. I like the idea of the wire.

RustyBear · 19/12/2009 14:40

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied - the neighbour was described as 'in his fifties'.

He is not an 'old guy'

Thank You

RustyBear (aged 53.4)

(He is a prat, though)

nannynobnobs · 19/12/2009 14:42

Also, I admit I have NO IDEA where my cat does her business as she has been litter tray trained from the very beginning, but now only wees in it and goes outside to poo. But how can I control where she goes? She spends most of her time in our back garden (when she's not asleep in the airing cupboard) but she also goes in my elderly neighbour's.

timelordvictorious · 19/12/2009 15:04

Sorry, Pikelit, I was correcting myself. You were right, I was wrong in the post before.

Pushingonthrough · 19/12/2009 15:08

Wrap up some "Cat Get Off My Garden" and take it next door with a note attached asking them to stop flinging shit over the fence. They must know it's not on or it would be done more openly and not hidden behind the shed.

Pikelit your use of the apostrophe was correct. Timelord was referring to her own grammatical error

santaschristmascakeywakey · 19/12/2009 15:27

Speaking as a cat owner, I would try to help with preventative measures or to offer to poo pick on a regular basis. It's not fair for cats to poo in other people's gardens, and if it's a problem that you're aware of, you should try to help stop it. He should have spoken to you about it though, miserable sod.

motherbeyond · 19/12/2009 15:41

he does sound a really miserable old git...not throwing the kids ball back [anger] what a twat! buuuuuut...sorry,cat shit is vile,and dangerous,and i wouldn't want it in my garden either.however,well out of order throwing it over,what if it lands on one of the kids?!!
i would go round and ask him not to throw it over for the sake of relations,or get rid of the cat

Snowsquonk · 19/12/2009 15:43

Agree with Pushingonthrough - did that with our neighbours over the back when we saw one of them using a plant pot as a toilet ! Got the stuff round there before they had the chance to complain.

As for chucking branches/leaves back over - that's not on, the law is that he should offer them back to you as your property, but you do not have to accept them and he's out of order throwing them over so perhaps next time he does it you could ask him not to please ?