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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my neighbour is being unreasonable?

101 replies

MissGreatBritain · 19/12/2009 14:09

Bit of background - he and his wife are in their 50s, have no children, or pets and appear to hate both. So the neighbour has an immaculate garden. He often trims trees that overhang his garden from ours and throws the leaves and branches back over to us. Also he cut the hedge between our houses so much that they can now see straight into our living room (without asking if we minded). Said no to 6 yr old DS when DS tried to get his ball back which had gone over the fence (a once in a lifetime occurance may I add). So basically he's a miserable old bastard.

Since last year we have had a cat, which appeared in our garden as a stray and which we kept. Recently we noticed that the cat appeared to be pooing behind the shed. Only today I noticed that the poo is pretty much spread around, and then I noticed that some of it is on ledge, much higher up. Then it occured to me - the cat is obviously pooing in the neighbour's garden and he is randomly throwing it back into our garden. I know that cat poo is disgusting, but to throw it over the fence is a bit much - it's not like we can stop the cat doing it. So do you think he's right or wrong? And if you're with me and think he's wrong, what shall I do about it? (I'm tempted to wrap it up with a merry christmas tag on it and leave it on his doorstep, but maybe that's not really on )

OP posts:

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 19/12/2009 15:45

Just spotted Squonk- Happy Christmas!

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 19/12/2009 15:50

Hmm, can't constructively comment really. They sound really uptight and a bit rude though. Love the leyendii suggestion though- now that is passive aggressive

nickelbabyjesus · 19/12/2009 15:51

at pikelit and timelord having an argument that didn't exist!

timelord corrects herself and pikelit apologises for having got it wrong and correcting herself even though she was right to start with.

i'm sorry, it's not relevant to the thread.

[sigh]

your neighbour's a weirdo freak, who should not throw cat's poo around. that is extremely disgusting and unhygienic.
if he's got a problem with your cat pooing on his garden he should act like a grownup and tell you.

MedusaHead · 19/12/2009 15:55

We had a letter from the council about this same thing. It said that they had received a complaint from one of the residents that cat poo was being thrown into their garden. I'm pretty sure that it stated that this was an offence, (but can't be sure as this was a while ago). This letter was sent to everyone in our close but didn't state where the complaint came from.

So maybe you should contact your local councillor and find out if it is an offence.

lisbey · 19/12/2009 15:55

He has a beuatiful garden that he loves - without children to worry about, keeping it that way has been his life's work. Balls coming over the fence damage the plants and cats being allowed to roam freely and mess where he's working with his hands are vile.

Maybe you should go and clear your cat's mess up yourself....?

Pogleswood · 19/12/2009 15:56

Get rid of the cat,Motherbeyond? That seems a bit extreme - especially as the offender might not be the OP's cat at all.After all if this bloke is sure it is,because he sees it doing its business,he should be doing what I do,which is charge out shrieking like a banshee thus putting the fear of god into the cat and hopefully putting it off using my garden as a loo...
Personally I think this is just part of life and you(he) have to put up with it.
(Disclaimer: I hate cat poo in my garden,have been dealing with it for years and nothing IMO stops them! But I like cats themselves)

Pogleswood · 19/12/2009 15:59

Sorry,didn't say YANBU - but don't know what you should do about it! Cats pooing in gardens - natural and uncontrollable.People throwing cat poo around - revolting .if he's gathering it up he should just stick it in the bin.

MillyR · 19/12/2009 16:00

I think you are in the wrong, and your cat shouldn't be pooing in other people's gardens.

The law probably doesn't agree with me though. My friend used to live in a terrace and the woman next door had 7 cats. My friend's children couldn't use their garden because of all the cat poo. She did ring the council and they said legally, there was nothing they could do.

There clearly needs to be a change in the law.

SantaWears2SnowShoes · 19/12/2009 16:06

yabu
it is your cat so your poo

Pogleswood · 19/12/2009 16:10

But a change of the law to what,exactly,MillyR? The only change I can think of is that cats should not be allowed outside,and I think that is cruel.Or perhaps that cats shouldn't be kept as pets? I can't think of anything else that'd work!

peacocks · 19/12/2009 16:15

You should apologise and go round with a box of catnip or whatever that stuff is that puts cats off pooing. Also a nice apology might soften his miserable old sodness. Also provide some kind of poobag hanging over your fence because one day it might land on you.

MillyR · 19/12/2009 16:17

There would have to be some middle ground. I think that a reasonable law would be that you have to register ownership of a cat, and demonstrate that it has been regularly wormed, treated for fleas, and vaccinated, and that unless it is a farm cat, it wears a bell at all times. People would only be able to own 1, or possibly 2 cats (certainly not 7) and should be responsible for cleaning up after them whenever possible.

My own choice would be for cat ownership to be limited to people who live in rural areas, but I know that is not going to happen.

There is certainly nothing 'natural' about them; they are a domestic pet. They only exist and grow in numbers because of us.

skidoodle · 19/12/2009 16:17

YANBU - he is an unreasonable prick.

"He has a beuatiful garden that he loves - without children to worry about, keeping it that way has been his life's work. Balls coming over the fence damage the plants and cats being allowed to roam freely and mess where he's working with his hands are vile"

He also shares the world with other people who are entitled to live in it.

Cat poo is gross, which is exacty why throwing it into someone else's garden is so nasty and out of order.

OP are you positive he's been doing that? It's just so gross I wonder if you could be misjudging him based on what a miserable sod he is.

If you have an issue with your neighbour then you go around and talk to them about it. The OP didn't even know the cat was shitting in his garden (and still doesn't for sure as it's not clear for sure what is going on).

LuckySalem · 19/12/2009 16:19

I agree something needs to be changed (and this is coming from someone who owns 2 cats)

If you don't pick up your dog poop you get fined. I think the problem is that no-one can prove which cat has done what whereas when you walk the dog it is quite obvious whos dog has done it.

Unless your my neighbour who allows her dog to just wander the streets pooing EVERYWHERE

grumpypants · 19/12/2009 16:20

the branches thing is a legal thing too - he is being a pedant no doubt - but i think im right in saying that you can cut a neighbours over hanging garden as long as you thrown back the cuttings or offer them back to the neighbour.

I think this too - so he's complying rather than trying to annoy you. TBH I can see how you might get to the stage of flinging cat poo, if you get one in your garden enough times haven't done it, but sort of sympathise

ssd · 19/12/2009 16:20

your neighbour sounds a right miserable old bastard, a lot like my neighbour

I would get another cat and train it to poo on his doorstep, maybe he'll move

MillyR · 19/12/2009 16:21

'He also shares the world with other people who are entitled to live in it.'

I don't think he actually wants the OP to cease living; he just doesn't want her cat poo in his garden.

Pogleswood · 19/12/2009 16:24

Ok,the registration and treatment bits sound like a good idea.Not sure about the ownership limit though.
But I do think clearing up after your own cat is completely unworkable.I have spent years battling with cats in my garden,but not always neighbours cats,some from quite a bit further afield. There is no way,unless you've got some sort of surveillance system out there,of telling which cat is responsible! (Though I really feel for your friend,and I'm sure in her case at least some of the 7 were responsible for her garden being messed up)

BooHooo · 19/12/2009 16:25

I am so close to doing this to my neighbour. It makes me sick to nearly step in this vile stuff every day and dangerous for my DD.

You should clean it up if it comes from your Cat. I don't blame the guy at all, miserable or not.

alypaly · 19/12/2009 16:25

i think you must have my neighbour....his garden is immaculate and should be as he is a landscape gardener. He was only in his house 6 months...pulled some leylandi down which were between us as he said he hated them....(BTW my garden is really sunny and south facing. Two weeks later these trees arrived in his garden....they were lying downand it wasnt until he stood them up that i realised they were 15 foot high. I went round to ask him about the height and he told me to F off.

On a really windy day a few weeks later i noticed a rope tied round my new fence posts...and the cheeky bastard was using my fence post to hold his new unrooted trees up. So when his wife came out in the garden later that day ,i asked her to remove the rope,to which she told me i was being pedantic and she too told me to F off. They are both PIA's ,really noisy and are always banging around in their garden with every electrical gadget imagineable. And to boot she sounds like a blardy fish wife. Blardy neighbours!!!!everyone hates them

Just looking for house in the middle of a field away from everyone noisy..grrrrrr.

MillyR · 19/12/2009 16:26

Luckysalem, I think the dog laws should be changed a bit too. Rather than trying to catch people in dog fouling incidents, which seems to have a very low success rate, the law should be that you have to register dogs and by law they must be wormed, flea treated and vaccinated. I say that as a dog owner.

I would worry a lot less about poo if it wasn't potentially going to blind my children or give them neurological problems. The risks are a lot lower if pets are getting treated, and the pets would be happier too.

gramercy · 19/12/2009 16:29

I was with you at first, because I have a truly horrible neighbour, but I'm with him over the cat. Flinging the poo is a bit extreme, but if his life's work is his garden no wonder he's mad.

However, my neighbour trumps yours because not only is he a miserable bastard, but owns a cat. And when he replaced the fence between our gardens, he BUILT A CAT FLAP INTO THE FENCE so his soddin' cat could come and poo in our garden and not his. When I saw that I was out there pronto hammering it shut, I can tell you.

LuckySalem · 19/12/2009 16:30

My opinion from working with rescues is you should have to register to own pets and have some sort of test as the way some animals are treated is disguisting.

I watch my cats - Im pretty sure that they do not go outside - the litter box is my evidence - that is a sick emoticon for right now.

I know how bad it is after having DD and being pregnant again so if I was to hear that my cats were pooing in someone elses garden id go and clean it up.

As for keeping cats indoors, there is no harm in that and if we were to move to somewhere busy, I'd keep my cats indoors - they only go out for an hour a day anyway.

dreamingofsun · 19/12/2009 16:33

we used a waterpistol to stop our cats going upsstairs - we hoped to have kids and din't want them sleeping in their cots. this quickly stopped them and they never did it again. you could suggest this to him and if he's agreable buy him one. i can see this from both sides

skidoodle · 19/12/2009 16:34

"I don't think he actually wants the OP to cease living; he just doesn't want her cat poo in his garden."

Or her children's balls. Or bits of her hedge that he has just cut down without talking to her first.

He is acting like the existence of her family is an affront to him. Basically, he's a classic bad neighbour.

A decent person would talk to their neighbour before cutting their trees, and would not just chuck them over the fence but would offer them first. That is what the rule says after all - throw or offer. There is no rule to say he must throw, he's just doing that because he's a wanker.

Only a total shitbag refuses to give children back balls that have gone into their garden. It's just so stereotypical crank I'm surprised he's not embarrassed to do it.

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