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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my neighbour is being unreasonable?

101 replies

MissGreatBritain · 19/12/2009 14:09

Bit of background - he and his wife are in their 50s, have no children, or pets and appear to hate both. So the neighbour has an immaculate garden. He often trims trees that overhang his garden from ours and throws the leaves and branches back over to us. Also he cut the hedge between our houses so much that they can now see straight into our living room (without asking if we minded). Said no to 6 yr old DS when DS tried to get his ball back which had gone over the fence (a once in a lifetime occurance may I add). So basically he's a miserable old bastard.

Since last year we have had a cat, which appeared in our garden as a stray and which we kept. Recently we noticed that the cat appeared to be pooing behind the shed. Only today I noticed that the poo is pretty much spread around, and then I noticed that some of it is on ledge, much higher up. Then it occured to me - the cat is obviously pooing in the neighbour's garden and he is randomly throwing it back into our garden. I know that cat poo is disgusting, but to throw it over the fence is a bit much - it's not like we can stop the cat doing it. So do you think he's right or wrong? And if you're with me and think he's wrong, what shall I do about it? (I'm tempted to wrap it up with a merry christmas tag on it and leave it on his doorstep, but maybe that's not really on )

OP posts:

ScreaminEagle · 20/12/2009 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ExplodingBananas · 20/12/2009 20:10

MillyR - I personally wouldn't be happy to shoot an animal wild or otherwise, I was just pointing out how the law views cats and dogs differently.

paisleyleaf · 20/12/2009 20:11

ewww. What, in his kitchen bin?

GhoulsAreLoud · 20/12/2009 20:16

Ummm...

I think that the situation is your problem but that his solution is not perfect.

In an ideal world he would have come and told you about it so that you could work out an amicable solution. Throwing it over the fence is grim.

But someone else's cat shitting in your garden? Also grim.

I have a dog who I always pick up after and I just can't begin to imagine how it would go down if she was shitting in the neighbour's garden (and my neighbours are very friendly).

You need to work out what to do about it. I don't know much about cats - don't they have litter trays or something?

MillyR · 20/12/2009 20:17

Explodingbananas, your info on the law is factually incorrect. I looked on the website of a cat charity (very easy to check). A cat is not the same in law as a wild animal; it is classed as the owner's property.

A person cannot legally take someone else's cat.

The owner of a cat is responsible for any damage to person or property done by their animal. This is law under The Animal Act 1971, Common Law Duty of Care and Environmental and planning laws.

mysonben · 20/12/2009 20:42

He is a prat! Some people are just ignorant and very sad! Your neighbour seems like one of them.
However, cat poo is just vile. There are lots of cats in my neighbourhood and one in particular insist on pooing under my fuschia next to my front door, it's disgusting and stinks. My neighbour knows of the problem and said they would make a special cat friendly area in their own garden with soft soil to intice the cat to do its business there.
But they 've never put the plan in action, and my DH has tried to put netting and rose bush branches down but the cat still comes!

There are days when i feel like throwing it back to them. But i'm reasonable and at the end of the day unless they put their cat on a lead within the scope of their garden lol, there isn't much that can be done.

EmilyStrange · 20/12/2009 21:04

Some of you have no idea about cats. You can't just train them to use a litter tray, as they will go outside regardless, it is their nature. Most litter-trained cats still go outside. Plus I do think it is far from ideal to keep a cat indoors. As others have pointed out, cats roam for miles, should we walk with a pooper scooper for at least a mile in every direction, every day.

But most of all I can not believe a significant number of adults are supporting throwing poo around. For gods sake you go and talk to someone if there is an issue. Now the OP is pissed off and I don't blame her. For the OPs sake I would attempt to sort the problem and I think someone else mentioned one of those devices that emit noise (silent to us) to keep cats out. The wire is a good idea but now with his particular open plan garden. The OP is NBU but many of the replies are. Fox poo is also disgusting, so shall we all just get a rifle and shoot the lot of them.

PhaseolusNativitatus · 20/12/2009 21:04

I am amazed that anyone thinks it's ok to throw shit into someone's garden, even if said shit belongs to that someone's cat.

Yes, the fact that the shit is there at all is, of course, unpleasant, but how was the OP meant to know this was happening, other than by finding shit behind her shed?

The neighbour's actions in no way address the problem. I'd give him an ASBO.

PhaseolusNativitatus · 20/12/2009 21:06

X-posts.

jasper · 20/12/2009 21:10

Your neighbour is being unreasonable about many things but returning your cat poo to your garden is not one of them

butterscotch · 20/12/2009 22:01

The cat poo thing is nasty especially with children around, you know they do a video camera thing that you can get for the PC that only records when activity is detected, I would be tempted to tape him doing it then send a copy to the council, asking for an ASBO.

Just because someone is an adult doesn't mean they can behave in this appalling way!

We have had cats in our garden and whilst it is inconvient more so now we have DD, I would never throw it over someones fence! There are lots of deterrents you can get if you have a problem with a cat.

As many have said there is no evidence that it is OP's cat. First approach I would take is throwing a soft ball near the cat/water pistol at it every time it came into my garden...

The ball thing it can depend on did you DC knock and ask or just go in the garden? As I had some neighbours sons who I caught climbing over my back fence (wondered how it had become damaged) and go in my garden its only because I was in and the car wasn't there I caught them, spoke to their mother about it who was quite frankly not far of a pikey she was a silly slapper (different blokes back every week) a few weeks later I caught them again over neighbours garden had a go at them again! My car was there then and I had my neighbours keys which they knew! .

She was bad in we had allocated parking spots and used to park in it or get the random blokes she brought back to park there, without asking i lost count of the times I'd wanted to key the cars or let the tyres down. I'd block the car in each time and when she would know tell her again not to park there without asking.....she did it non-stop! grrrrr...in the end I refused to move my car one night (had had a drink) and therefore claimed I couldn't she was mighty pissed off but after 4yrs of her constantly doing it i had had enough! So I can understand your frustration! I think its best to try to resolve as easily as possible I used to get my cat to go in my garden but putting cat litter around the back of the shed where I wanted her to go when she first went out......

mazzystartled · 20/12/2009 22:44

It doesn't matter if he is the meanest man in the whole wide world, it is still down to the OP to sort this problem out.

If you want to have any chance of sorting out the other issues you've mentioned you have to cop for the cat shit.

ToFalalalola · 20/12/2009 23:23

It is a bit off that some cat owners here seem to be throwing up their hands and basically saying 'Oh, yes, cats are completely uncontrollable. Ah well.'

If you have an animal whose movements and excrement are out of your control, that you can't train to use your own garden or a litter tray,and that you refuse to keep indoors, then it seems that that animal is not suitable to be your pet. Imagine if a dog owner said the same thing. There would be outrage.

megapixels · 20/12/2009 23:41

Sorry but it's your cat, why the hell does he have to deal with its faeces? Keep your cat in your own garden (no idea how you can do that though ).

onagar · 20/12/2009 23:41

Agree with ToFalalalola and with those who said "your cat, your poo"

If you don't want cat poo in your garden you should get a goldfish instead.

ScreaminEagle · 21/12/2009 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 21/12/2009 01:44

At least he's throwing the cat shit behind the shed rather than at you. Mind you, the idea of him moving a car with a child in it is odd and worrying - did he really get into someone else's car and just drive it away? WIth a kid in the back? That's seriously solipsistic nutty behaviour.

ninedragons · 21/12/2009 03:11

Keep your cat indoors. Or volunteer to go and pick up the poo in his garden every single morning.

Cat poo is disgusting and he is perfectly entitled to enjoy his garden without treading in it.

spookycharlotte121 · 21/12/2009 05:22

cant believe how many people say they would chuck shit over their neighbours fence..... how disgusting. especially in the knowledge that you have children!

Personally I dont see why the shit lobbing people dont just put it in a bag and then in the bin.... its hardly any more effort and a far more hygenic thing to do. just seems petty and pathetic to put it in the owners garden. I mean when your walking a dog fair enough you have some control over where it craps but a cat is a free agent.

nooka · 21/12/2009 06:52

There is no way you can do anything about your cat pooing because you can't actually follow them around. If you climbed into your neighbours gardens after the cat I can't imagine they would be pleased either (and it woudl be trespass). Dogs are different because you are on the other end of their lead, or within a short distance of them, so it is easy to see, and easy to clear up too. In most English neighbourhoods there are several cats covering any one garden in any case. It seems highly unlikely to me that before the OP took in this cat there was no poo - I wonder how long he's been throwing it over?

mattellie · 22/12/2009 13:04

Just going back to another point in the OP?s post, the law is pretty clear on balls landing in his garden ? he is permitted not to give it back, but only if he does not touch it, ie he is not allowed to move it from where it lands, the moment he does that he is obliged to return it.

If the ball did damage on landing, such as breaking a plant pot or ruining some flowers, he is permitted to claim the costs of repair back from you.

jaggythistle · 22/12/2009 14:42

"Sorry, i'm with the 'your cat, your shit' group."

Me too.

Just because you can't control the animal doesn't mean it can shit where it wants with impunity.

It's not the cat's fault, it is yours. You are responsible for making sure it uses a litter tray and/or has somewhere in your garden to leave it's filth.

'But cats bury their shit' is a load of rubbish too.

a) They don't, I had a patch of grass destroyed by constant cat piss and crap, they also crapped all over the gravel drive and path.

and b) even if they do how does that make it ok? I have dug a hole to plant a bulb and found a fecking cat poo. Yuk!

Cat ownership should definitely be limited. WE lived in a busy cul de sac, with a reidiculous number of cats

I caught the feckers in the act plenty of times so it's not hard to see which animal is responsible.

jaggythistle · 22/12/2009 14:47

"I mean when your walking a dog fair enough you have some control over where it craps but a cat is a free agent."

This is the sort of attitude I don't understand! Why should I put up with it? It's not fine to acquire a cat with no intention of controlling it or caring where it goes.

Training may be hard but most people don't even try by the sound of it.

PS excuse numerous typos in previous ranty post!

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 22/12/2009 16:30

Get a litter tray.

(written as a cat lover, living in the city, who sees how much poo her cats do and would be mortified if they did that in her neighbours' gardens)

mayorquimby · 22/12/2009 17:17

maybe if your cat didn't shit in his garden and you cut back your trees so they didn't over-hang his garden he wouldn't have to throw them back over to you after cleaning up your cats shit and cutting back your trees.

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