To expect our xmas guests to respect the fact that we are vegetarian

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

OK so we are new veggies, we still eat fish but phasing it out slowly (dp reticent about this although his idea to be veggie). I have made this decision on an animal welfare standpoint.

My mum and DD1 are coming to dinner - DD1 is happy to go with the flow, my mum relly wants turkey - no worries, we can afford to get a small free range turkey - she wont countenance a chicken, but no "oh, but i always have a big turkey" i like to give some to the animals and have sandwiches etc. But i say, its only you going to be eating it fgs. I was planning on buying a small turkey crown, smallest i can find, free range wont be cheap lets face it.

She has phoned me every day for the past week - have i sorted the turkey out yet, only if i leave it too late there wont be any left

I really don't want a turkey, but i will cook it for DM, DD1 and DD2 (who is four and we still cook chicken for her) but i dont want a giant great big bird that will be a complete waste and tbh, if we have to do tht we might as well sodding well eat it but we dont really like turkey anyway.

Am i being a veggie grinch??

Eating together is more important, which is why on the day, above all days, when there is a traditional meal you shouldn't force your guests to eat nut roast, or equivalent! Vegetarians always insist on an effort being made to accommodate them and it should work the other way too. OP is at least being hospitable! She should just have told her mother that it was all taken care of and got the turkey of her choice IMO.

Have to say though that I don't like nut roast at all, and really wouldn't want to have that as my christmas dinner. I do like nuts - just not in my food, I like them on their own.

I love nut roast, but not on Christmas Day. I think it rude of the host to invite you to a traditional meal and then ignore it!

YABU- you are a selective eater, not a vegetarian.

Your principals are your own, but when you have guests surely you should try to please them and make their day good- it is only once a year.

The easiest answer is ask your mum to shop for the turkey- small or a crown- and arrive early enough with it to cook it, or she can cook it at home beforehand- it's just as nice cold.

As for your principals- well, I used to be a veggie for a while, but then decided to eat only free range and organic meat- where the animals had had a good life.

I don't honestly understand people being veggies for animal welfare reasons,as the animals are going to be slaughtered anyway, whether you eat it or not.

The animals we eat are domesticated and bred for human consumption. If we didn't eat them they would not exist.

If you really hold those views, then you have to go theh whole hog ( ha!) imo, and not wear /use leather or any by products of animals as part of your protest.

Back to the original point- stop being a misery and get your mum a turkey or let her buy it.

What's the obsession with 'my house, my rules'?!

What's with the rules!? I don't stand for being the sap that puts everyone elses happiness above my own, but really...'my house, my rules'?! What a horrible sentiment!

What happened to inviting people to your home and trying to please them a little?

Purplepeony -"I don't honestly understand people being veggies for animal welfare reasons,as the animals are going to be slaughtered anyway, whether you eat it or not."
What a strange and flawed argument! It's like saying "if I don't do it, someone else will", which you could use to justify all sorts of behaviours!
I'd be happier if intensively reared pigs, chickens etc didn't exist. No life would be better in this case than a completely crap quality of life.

Can't you or your mum get a turkey breast or crown?

YANBU - its your house and she's your guest.
Its up to you what you cook. My SIL is veggie and I know that at her house we eat veggie food. I would never expect her to cook meat for us (although her DH does eat meat out at restuarants).

But maybe in these circumstances to keep the peace at christmas time maybe better to let her have her turkey?

this isn't about op cooking meat though is it? It's about her mother (guest in her house) trying to dictate the size of the turkey she will be cooking.

Personally I don't get the obsession with buying a bird big enough to have left-overs. If the tradition is to have turkey on Christmas day and there is turkey, then wtf is the problem?

I buy a turkey crown from m&s every year, and although it's not cheap there is absolutely no waste.

I would just say to your mum that there will be turkey and leave it at that. The size of said turkey really is irelevant..

thats exactly what i will be doing wannaBe - a turkey crown from M&S. I am going to cook something for us and give my mum some too - so she can see that we are not missing out, just having something else - that will probably taste better!

update my mum rang me this am, wanted to know when i was going to buy the turkey - because if i don't hurry up and buy one there will only be huge ones left and that will be a waste of money !!! She seems really put out that DP and i wont be eating it, its like we are failing the xmas tradition. I think she thinks we are just not going to bother with xmas dinner but thats not true - i want it to be lovely, it will be. Silly cow!

I like leftovers, and for me part of the fun of a turkey is having meat and stuffing left over. This wouldn't be fun if I didn't eat it though, and when there are only 2 of us for Christmas we don't eat a turkey as that's just silly, and I'd rather eat duck or venison than a turkey crown.
Sounds like mum is keen on turkey though so the crown seems a compromise.
If you're willing to cook turkey crown then I think the title of your thread is misleading.