Am I being unreasonable to think that good care with one carer at home is better than good care at a nursery?

[gotogirl]

I haven't namechanged, because I am not ashamed of asking this. It is a genuine question.

Following the thread from the mum who wanted appreciation of her parenting skills for having a good-sleeper / well-behaved 3 year old - i know it is contrary to MN netiquette to start a thread re a thread, but this is a related topic, not the same one.

Anyway, that mum suggested if it is all down to luck, she may as well pop her DD into nursery and feed her fruit shoots....cos being lucky, this "adverse" things would not affect the outcome. So, she clearly put "nursery" in the adverse category.

A few people picked her up on this and said nursery is not evil etc.

[Bear with me, this is long, I know]

My question:

does anybody genuinely feel that nursery is as good as or better than being cared for by single carer in home environment?

My thoughts: that the OP from other post is eriously misguided in thinking nursery = adverse environment. But, but....

I struggle to think that nursery is going to be better than one-to-one care at home unless home carer is ill / depressed / incapable etc.

Let's get to the point:

Am I being unreasonable to think that good care with one carer at home is better than good care at a nursery?

BTW, my kids are not cared for one-to-one at hom; I work and this is not possible. but i found what I fgeel is next best thing. I myself do not think it is superior care to what they would get if I were able to become SAHM. But economic reality dictates work for me.

pragmatically do what you have to.winicott et al said good enough hits the mark

naturally many others will have strong opinions,but realistically we do what suits us and maintains individual work-life balance

Regarding the alleged best minimum age, isn't easier for kids to settle in when they are younger? My daughter was 9 months old when she started nursery and settled without much problems, while I know a friend;s son who started pre-school at around 3 had to be picked up several times in the beginning because he was crying so much.

The nursery nurses at my daughter's nursery also say that they experience easier settling in the younger the children are.

..yes, hence my suggestion people follow my lead and that of Dati and Palin and get back to work within 2 weeks. So much more relaxing too actually except the breast milk expression is a hassle.

It's bad for babies' health, though, to be at nursery so young. Here in France where children commonly start crèche at 2 months, it is well-publicised information that babies in crèche suffer many more respiratory and gastro-intestinal problems than babies who remain at home (whether with a parent or a nanny).

Bronchiolitis is practically unknown among babies who stay at home; every winter the A&E services here advertise info all over Paris about what to do with babies with bronchiolitis, so common is it among babies who go to crèche.

Bonsoir - babies can catch this from other children anywhere, whether it is groups with mummy or nursery. Indeed, I've been advised to visit as much groups as possible before sarting nursery, so her immune system would have a head start.

Unless you wrap your child in sterile cotton wool and avoid contact to other humans you cannot avoid them catching bugs.

Bronchiolitis is not "a bug" - it kills lots of babies every year! And the point is that babies in collective care are practically the only ones who get it.

RSV is a cause of hospital treatment/admission and it is viral and caught at home or nursery,can be home or nursery.in epidemiological terms viruses don't distinguish between home or nursery.if you are in public milieu (home or nursery) exposed to airborne transmittable virus chances are you will get a viral infection

Bonsoir - my niece who is 5 months old and at home with her SAHM has been diagnosed with bronchiolitis ar the weekend.

So what? That doesn't change the fact that attendance at day-care greatly increases the probability of being hospitalised with bronchilitis, which is a dangerous disease. Ditto gastro-enterinal diseases.

Bronchiolitis is inflammation of the bronchioles. usually caused by the RSV Respiratory Syncytial Virus affects 1 in 3,12months being viral it is very contagious

Bonsoir - can you direct me to the studies? I would be interested to see if they have controlled for breastfeeding duration, introduction to complementary foods and SES.

Bronchiolitis affects 1 in 3,

In the UK very few babies go to daycare at a few weeks old, so these health dangers aren't as well known. But to go back to the earlier point, that it was supposed to be less traumatic for babies if their mothers return to work ASAP after birth - there are definite health disadvantages to that scenario.

as per usual Bonsoir spurious claims and faux research to support your anti nursery rants

LOL why would the mairie de Paris which itself runs the crèches advertise this fact on the black and yellow electronic billboards all over Paris at this time of year if there weren't problems?

not familiar with paris billboards am familiar with peer reviewed journals

I would still be interested to know what amount of that statistic is actually attributable to nursery alone.

And yes very few babies go to daycare at weeks old (nanny / childminder at home doesnt come into this argument) as few nurseries take babies under 6 weeks.

Oh if only I didnt have morals and have to abide by ethics and stuff - I could do some fantastic studies

Maybe it would add to your obvious deep academic interest in nursery care, scottishmummy, to be a bit more informed about what happens in other countries?

FWIW, crèche here is not aspirational in the way it seems to be for certain people in the UK. It is very much the lesser of two evils. No-one wants their child to go to crèche, or somehow thinks it represents an ideal form of childcare, or even a very good one. It is just something people in financial need resort to.

yes.do cite the peer reviewed journals and i shall peruse them

Where did the aspirational bit come from? No one has said that have they?

And I also want the peer reviewed journal

peppa we could do a wee journal club

Yes but we still need someone to present us with the raft that show that are DC's are going to be the psychopaths of tomorrow...

I would quite like a mumsnet journal club

The French have very weird views on health which are not at all applicable to the average British baby though... all kinds of conditions and concerns we've never heard of here.

In the UK we think that the more germs a baby gets the better. It means it's immune from swine flu by the time its 60. Germs good. Lack of germs bad. Dirty kitchen floors a plus point too helps lower asthma risks.

Most people in the uK don't think nurseries are the best or poshest care at all. A nanny is more expensive per child and better but for some families perhaps just with one child a good nursery is fine too.

My dcs' constitution is admirable, having honed their immune system from ft nursery attendance from a young age. So is dh's and mine, who take public transport and mingle with masses.

For the odd bug the dcs catch, they generally kick it off within 24 hours, whilst their friends are off sick for days.

If someone in the house comes down with a bug, it is by no means guaranteed anyone else in the family will catch it.

More germs definitely better in our case.

I know two babies under a year who have had bronchiolitis - one, my DS, who was 9m and at nursery, the other, 4m at home with an SAHM who didn't go out much.

That's my research