to think being able to drive is KEY skill for a woman ( particularly)

[FolornHope]

or not

I know LOADS of non-drivers in real life, but that is probably because I am an academic. Most of my colleagues can't drive at all, or, like me, learned to drive in their 30s/40s.

But you see, namechanger, I lived in a city for years and assumed I would forever, so never bothered learning.
Mistake!

Whilst agree that it is an important life skill, I think far too much emphasis is placed upon it. I cannot drive at present, due to a medical condition. At home with a young baby and now the weather is crap it is a right ball-ache at times. It annoys me having to ask DP to take me places that are difficult to reach without a car.

However the way people react when you tell them you can't drive.... you'd have thought someone had died. It is not actually so bad, and stops you being a lazy-arse that drives everywhere.

And let's be clear, life is more difficult for those without cars precisely because of all those people who won't go anywhere on foot or on public transport. If there were less cars we would have a significantly better public transport system, and less out of town retail parks which are naff-all use to me.

The oil is running out though folks, so it is only a matter of time before you'll all be catching the bus with me!

But the money, people, the money!

If learning to drive was on the National Curriculum and paid for by the government (I'm not suggesting this, btw) then take-up would be nearly 100%, I'm guessing.

But as it stands it is incredibly expensive to learn to drive, particularly if you're not a natural at it and needs lots of lessons.

So I think it is unreasonable to expect that everyone be able to drive when we can all see that some people have never had the sort of money available that would allow them to learn.

I think it depends on yr circumstances, how far away from shops/schools/friends etc you are, and how good public transport is where you live.

I learnt to drive 19 yrs ago, and it's one of the best things I have ever done. I'm glad I did it then, I don't think I could have afforded it now.

I hate relying on other people and really hate relying on other people regularly. Not to say all non drivers rely on other people, but for me, the idea of waiting in the freezing cold for a bus doesn't appeal. Neither does waiting another hr when the bus doesn't show which happens regularly where I am.
I am even less keen to use public transport after reading the thread on here about what goes on on buses/trains/tubes.

I live in a small village with crap public transport, and if people choose not to learn to drive, that's fine, but imo, it's only fine if they don't knock on my door week in week out to ask me for lifts/can I pop to the paypoint to pick up their electric/shopping/take them to the drs/dentists/mums/sisters etc etc.

I don't mind helping anyone in an emergency, but as a week in/week out thing, no.

The nearest hospital to me is about 15 miles away, and the nearest drs is about 8 miles away. We have no local shop, buses are not regular here after 6pm, and stop completely after 11pm and Sundays. This means that unless my neighbours have a car, they are stuck in the evenings and sundays unless they can afford a taxi or have someone who they can get a lift from.

Imo, my neighbours who have DC, especially young DC should learn to drive, purely because of our location, yet many of them dont.

As for sexes, it's important for both sexes to learn, can't see why it's more important for women.

I really really want my DS and DD to learn, but DS is not bothered atm. I'll keep trying to persuade him though.

what's the point of offering it to youngsters - who is going to buy their car, pay their insurance, petrol, MOT's etc etc

We live in the suburbs and don't drive. We use buses and the metro to get about, do the supermarket shop online and the fresh shopping in the local row of shops. I will admit to getting a lift off my parents when I make the 2 1/2 hour journey to see them, but we have done it on the train as well, and it isn't very hard at all. Getting a lift just means we can take more stuff with us. Occainsionally the ILs will give us lifts here and there, but again it is only slightly easier, it is more on their insistance. The few times we really need a car we could always get a taxi. It is very rare that we do though. (apart from late night returns from far off pubs, but it's not like we could drive then anyway)

My sister passed her test a year ago and has never driven since. She does live in London though.

I do miss my motorbike, but it was more of a hobby than a practical way to get about, and I got rid of it when I was pregnant the first time as I couldn't justify such a dangerous hobby when I had people relying on me.

I do get lifts, and am always grateful, but I do feel that a lot of people think they need a car when they really don't.

I agree Peabody that it is a huge expense learning to drive, then if you're lucky enough to pass your test 1st time, there's the expense of a car, insurance hiked up for new and young drivers, tax, MOT, repairs, oil, air from the garage, not to mention petrol/diesel .

This is why I'm encouraging my DS to learn while he still lives at home.

sparkle - you have buses on Sundays

Our hospital is 12 miles away (I really do live in a town honest)

you know this growing trend that we "need" a car if we live in remote places has killed village life, the shops, etc etc. People prefer to use their cars to go and do a big supermarket shop, drive to the nearest town for a night out, the local pubs and shops lose out, lose money and close, thus increasing the "need" for cars

Butterpie Sounds like you have all you need without having to drive, for people like yourself, in your situation as it is now, it makes sense not to drive and incur all the expense that goes with driving.

I don't think I would use my car very often if I still lived in my old house which was 2 miles from the town centre.

Awassailing No, there are no buses where I am on Sundays.

oh sorry - misread your post

I think it's more to do with the prices that local shops charge and the service they may or may not offer that leads more people to use supermarkets instead.

My nearest local shop is 5 miles away in the next village, and they charge £2.30 for a loaf of bread.

Most of the next village is inhabited by OAP's, who jump on a bus with their shopping trolley and go to the supermarket rather than pay local shops prices.

Supermarkets have a wider range too.

ok - so it's the bloody supermarkets as well

As local shops didn't used to be so bloody expensive, (well perhaps they did - but they weren't being undercut by the supermarkets who make massive profits while their suppliers get peanuts so they didn't seem expensive - people were used to paying "high" prices)

I had to snigger (sorry) at your previous post saying really all these people should learn to drive (especially ones with young children) - while the OAPs are happily jumping on the bus to get to the supermarket though

We do live in a reasonably sized village and we are lucky enough to have a Tesco Metro which can charge what it likes for stuff. I got fed-up paying a premium for stuff that I was buying from Tesco online for as much as 20/ 30% LESS. I can't afford that on my budget and have been able to save us real money by driving into the nearest town for my shopping.

And as I mentioned earlier if I was to work here I'd get minimum wage in a shop/ restaurant so I have to get elsewhere for work. It's a catch 22.

Oh and Awas, I am Scottish- of course I can cope with the weather- no choice really , it's just the feckin' midgees I can't cope with

dh didn't drve for a long time and it did feel like my time was manipulated becuase of this.

if he needed to be somewhere for work, or something social - its ok becuase custy can drive.

even if we both had full days at work - it seems fair enough as i have a car for me to pick up shopping on the way home - after all i had the car and dh couldnt be expected to walk the distance with shopping

but this really grated. he could come home from work and chill - i finished work and still had work to do becuae i was the only one who could drive.

IMO both should be able to drive

there should be equality of the driving

viva the socialist republic of driving.

and there used to be more shops - my mum used to be able to get most of her shopping done in the village shops

(actually just done a google and found a list of the shops that used to be in the village) - many obviously closed while I was still very young or before I was born as I don't remember them all- but for the one small village used to have

1. Porritts : Fancy Goods
2. Post Office
3. Sylvester?s ; Off Licence
4. Co-op Grocery, Hardware,

Butchers

1. Fish and Chip Shop
2. Maynards Arms
3. National Provincial Bank

( Sub Office

1. Ernie Chapman?s Stables
2. Foundry

10. Ernie Chapman?s Fruit Vegetable Shop 11. Charlie Hellings General dealer Bread Cakes Sweets etc. 12. Thorntons General \Dealer Sweets & Groceries 12. Toys & Clothes Shop 13.Carlin How Club 13. Martins Bank Sub Office 14. Swinnertons Chemist 15. MedCalf?s : Bread & Cakes Bakery 16. Charlie Webster Electrical shop 17. Collinsons ;Ice Cream 18. StoneHouses Garages 19. Club H

And believe me it was (then) only a small village, now there's only a mini-market type place, and one or two other small shops.

shoot - I hate Scottish midges - and they love me >

I'll shut up now - DS3 is demanding food.

Suffice to say that I don't believe that driving is a key skill for men or women, we're just a bunch of lazy feckers these days and the supermarkets and car dealers are thriving because of it while local business go bust

we did have equality of driving for a long time, custy- neither of us could drive!

we just planned our lives around it: chose a place to live (boring suburb rather than pretty countryside), chose our leisure pursuits, organised our cooking so as not to depend on large supermarkets (small COOP has to do us), let the dcs know that their hobbies would have to depend on the transport situation etc

there is an assumption that anybody who doesn't drive takes advantage of other people all the time. SOme of us just make do with less.

This old chestnut again - pops up every couple of months or so.

I disagree it's a 'key life skill'. Yes, it's very useful indeed and certainly more convenient but not key.

I'm a working single mum and don't drive I manage fine and certainly don't rely on other people to get me and DS about, unless you count bus drivers as 'other people'.

Sometimes folk offer to give us a lift which is lovely, but I don't expect it and don't ask. If I absolutely HAVE to get somewhere that needs a car (very rare) I can always get a taxi.

If I need bulky shopping then I can get it delivered.

I live in a big city with excellent pt and don't plan to move any time soon so don't see it being a problem.

Also LOL at all you lot who say 'my DC WILL be learning to drive'. What if they don't want to? Are you going to force them into a car?

"there is an assumption that anybody who doesn't drive takes advantage of other people all the time"

Yes, that annoys me too, I must admit, but I'm very independent and hate having to rely on others.

I can well imagine some non driving people do take advantage.

YABU why does anyone HAVE to drive? Fair enough if you need it for work, live in the middle of nowhere, don't have a partner who can drive in an emergency in the middle of the night etc but if you've got good public transport and live near school and shops it's hardly essential. With 3 DCs I know it would make some things easier / quicker but nothing that would really change my life except make me a bit lazier I suspect.