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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being able to drive is KEY skill for a woman ( particularly)

542 replies

FolornHope · 17/12/2009 08:49

or not

OP posts:
Original poster
FolornHope · 18/12/2009 09:10

the non drivers on this thread remind me of when my ILs refused to by a pc as " they dont need one" so "Managed" on a crappy word processor.
till they realised a PC was rather good.

OP posts:
Buddleja · 18/12/2009 09:13

I think it matters hugely what other people, particulary women, can and can't do.

There should be a law that if a woman doesn't drive by the age of 21 she should be shoot.

That'd sort it.

sarah293 · 18/12/2009 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

shabbytabby · 18/12/2009 09:18

PCs are rather good, for individuals. They're not actually essential yet. Even so they're not as significantly polluting or potentially dangerous as cars.

Riven - I don't like this culture of car dependency. I don't really see how it can last forever. I wonder if it will become another facet of the rich/poor divide, ie the rich will get to drive around merrily, the poor won't (even more than today).

lissielouskissingsantaclaus · 18/12/2009 09:36

"the non drivers on this thread remind me of when my ILs refused to by a pc as " they dont need one" so "Managed" on a crappy word processor.
till they realised a PC was rather good."

but having a pc is not KEY! it might be handy etc but its not essential. i agree that we are getting lazier and assume that everything should be done NOW. dh made an observation today as we walked ds to school, how many of the drivers who find cars so essential cope when we have bad weather? the country grinds to a standstill when we have a bit of snow!

littleboots · 18/12/2009 09:53

I have a license but dont drive.17 years ago I was trapped in a car with two broken legs and three extremely broken friends.My best friend was braindead next to me for an hour until the roof was cut off and we were airlifted to hospital.She never made it.The horror of those sixty minutes still hasnt left me but I wish it would.It took me a nine months to learn to walk again, thats why I walk everywhere.I dont ask for lifts and find that in this country public transport is wonderful,in fact 'for someone who dont drive,Ive been all around the world'.I also am at the top of my career path.I dont tell many people about what happened,theres no need to show the scars but please dont judge anyone for anything until you have walked in their shoes.

shabbytabby · 18/12/2009 10:22

Littleboots, thank you for sharing that. I think people can forget, or can't imagine, how easily accidents can happen, and how much courage (and independence) it takes to deal with the experince and the aftermath.

Abubu · 18/12/2009 10:56

Not being able to drive is fine, while you are young and find it easy to get about.

What annoys me is when people whinge about not being able to drive who are quite capable of learning.

MIL and grandmother IL are at the mercy of granfather IL as he is the only one in their house who can drive and hates it so tries to go out as little as possible (and will only go to places he is very familiar with).

Grandmother IL tried to learn to drive a few years ago but failed once and took that as a good excuse to give up, because her husband told her that she couldn't do it so she just agreed.

Now they both moan at being at his mercy if they want to go anywhere.
I don't have much sympathy, Grandmother in law could have kept up the lessons and MIL has never even been bothered.

In that case I wish they wouldn't whinge about it. They don't know how lucky they are to even have had the chance.

My brother is partially sighted and isn't allowed to learn to drive. He has to rely on public transport and I feel quite sad about that.

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:05

awassailinglookingforansw - you can still have a licence and no car and ask a neighbour or relative to borrow their car to help in an emergency if need be.

those who can't drive may have a chip on their shoulder about not being able to drive but don't nit-pick at others comments please. I was basically getting my point across that having a licence is of benefit to someone rather than relying on public transport in a case where you need to get somewhere pronto.

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:09

not being able to drive is restrictive at times, but it is also more convenient to use public transport when in a city area too, so I think having the extra option means it's a win-win situation in life.

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:13

actually - quick question for those non-drivers out there, how did you get to hospital when you were in labour? did you get the bus in or did you taxi-it in?

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:16

DH wouldn't drive in a car that he wasn't insured to drive - under any circumstances.

"those who can't drive may have a chip on their shoulder about not being able to drive but don't nit-pick at others comments please"

I have no chip at all, and there have been plenty of "nit-picking" from the drivers towards those that don't drive.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:17

and hospital - DH drove me.

But would have got a taxi otherwise.

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:17

you can phone up an insurance company to arrange cover on the spot actually, it's very simple and straightforward.

so how did you all get to hospital when you were in labour with your DC if you didn't drive, if you are independent non-drivers? Did you bus it, take the train or get a taxi?

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:21

it's also EXTREMELY expensive - DH wanted to borrow SIL's car over the summer holidays to take his FIL a few places.

We rang up and enquired, the "short term" ones were astronomical, and the others all had fees if you cancelled straight away - and I certainly wouldn't be paying for X months of insurance for one occasion - a taxi would be much cheaper (and lets face it by the time you've faffed around finding a neighbour who doesn't need the car, gone home, arranged insurance you may as well have called a taxi - as it would probably be cheaper anyhow (unless you were travelling a LONG way).

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:27

with fully comp insurance policy you are insured third party to drive anyone's vehicle. last I heard that's how it worked. which means you technically don't have to faff around with phone calls etc.

Quattrocento · 18/12/2009 18:28

It always surprises me that many key life skills just aren't taught at school. Not just driving, but typing and cooking and being able to manage finance ...

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:29

so people should have a licence and pay out for fully comp insurance for a "possible" emergency use of a friend or neighbours car >

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:31

Quattrocento I agree with you there, driving is like cooking, it enhances your life and is just another skill that is essential (esp if you live in the sticks or a small town).

It should be taught at school, and there should be an incentive scheme to encourage more people to get a licence (not necessarily a car), so at least they have the option to drive at any point in their lives. It is understandable that cars are a huge up-keep, and so not everyone is going to want to buy one straight-away at a young age, but it's a skill that will always be useful.

lovechoc · 18/12/2009 18:33

think we may have a misunderstanding here awas..

let's just agree to disagree otherwise we are going round in circles.

Quattrocento · 18/12/2009 18:34

Of course it is fine for non-drivers not to drive - more ecologically sound as well

Always assuming they are not permanently cadging lifts though - that's a bit irritating. One good friend of mine permanently sets my teeth on edge with this habit ("Will you just pop around and pick me up?" When the popping takes half an hour each way ....)

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:35

you see what makes me laugh is that those of you who view cars as an "essential" just can't see how anyone could possibly lead a fulfilled and happy life without being able to drive.

I have no bone to pick with those that prefer to have a car (as I've said before - DH is very much a car person and once money allows that's top of his list of things to sort) - that's his choice - he's happy with that. There's nothing he's not been able to do since he's been without car (nearly a year now), but he'd prefer to do it in the car.

WHY - can some of you car drivers not accept that it's NOT an essential for everyone, that some of us genuinely have no need/desire/wish to be able to drive??

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:36

no - I want to know what you mean.

Because unless someone (without a car but with licence) wants to pay monthly/yearly for fully comp insurance if they need to borrow car then they're going to have to ring up and sort inusrance out.......which as I said earlier is either expensive (for short term) - or has to be paid monthly

EldonAve · 18/12/2009 18:42

if you are going to borrow the same persons car then they can add you to their insurance for a short time and the fee is usually small

I paid about 20 quid to add my bro to our policy for 3 mths

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 18/12/2009 18:44

still involves faffing around with phonecalls