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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wish a friend would shut up about how perfect her life is?

124 replies

totallyawesome · 17/12/2009 07:10

it's getting on my wick!

She has, on the face of it, a perfect life. She is smugly happily married, they have no money worries, she is smugly entirely happy in her job, they have enough money to spend on a new car, are talking about buying a bigger house, she can go on business trips with work (and therefore maintain her career) because hubby will take care of the kids.

In contrast, I am on my own, smugly happily divorced, have much less disposable income, am just about content in my job (but am thoroughly sick of having to work with her), have no chance of trips with work because I can't get childcare and my career is suffering in comparison.

One of the few things that's keeping me sane is knowing that her life is only perfect with the aid of Prozac. And that her hubby is not entirely satisfied with their sex life because he has tried it on with me!

is it ok to be hacked off? or have I turned into a Grumpy Old Woman?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 17/12/2009 07:19

Yes.

YABU.

christiana · 17/12/2009 07:19

Message withdrawn

poorfrancesbean · 17/12/2009 07:22

you sound really nasty to gloat that her husband has "tried it on with you". Think you might need AD's actually.

Lulumama · 17/12/2009 07:24

her life is not perfect if she is on ADS and her husband is sniffing around other woman

you are not grumpy, you are nasty , that;s not how friends behave..gloating at how others' lives are going

she might be desperate to give up work and stay at home, but can't afford to, she might be seriously depressed and hanging by a thread..

you sound pissed off she has the things you are claiming you aren't interested in

NancyDrewRocks · 17/12/2009 07:26

You sound horrid and gloaty - not suprised she is on AD's with a friend like you.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 17/12/2009 07:27

oh dear, you don't sound like a very nice friend...

FanjoForTheMankySocks · 17/12/2009 07:28

hmm, it "keeps you sane" that your friend is doing well only on ADs? you are warped, and U!

LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 17/12/2009 07:29

You aren't taking about a friend if thats how you feel about her. You seem to know perfectly well that her life isn't perfect, and as with most things people who bang on about things are actually not telling the whole truth.

Let's hope when it all goes tits up you're not the person she turns too.

HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas · 17/12/2009 07:29

YABU and bitter, bitchy and rather cruel tbh.

Focus on your own life not ripping apart other peoples. It makes for a much happier you.

piscesmoon · 17/12/2009 07:43

I don't think that you are going to be happy in your own life if you are so bitter.

christiana · 17/12/2009 07:51

Message withdrawn

doesntplaywellwithothers · 17/12/2009 07:52

Maybe she feels like if she tells you anything bad, you'll gloat and feel good about the fact that her life isn't so perfect, so therefore, she only shares what sounds to you like smug 'perfections'. I had two friends like you, and I had the sense to run as fast as I could away from them.
Be nice and grow up a bit!

MarioandLuigi · 17/12/2009 07:57

Glad you are no friend of mine, you should be happy with her, not bitch and gloat.

YABU

GColdtimer · 17/12/2009 08:01

Blimey, if that is how you feel about your "friends" I wouldn't like to be your enemy. Of course you may just be ranting to get it off your chest but you really do sound quite unpleasant.

christiana · 17/12/2009 08:03

Message withdrawn

onebatmother · 17/12/2009 08:13

Also, I don't think husbands do that because they're unhappy with sex, they do that because they're betraying arses.

If her husband has tried it on with you, I suspect you know that you should feel sorry for her.

MarioandLuigi · 17/12/2009 08:21

Did you tell her her DH tried it on with you?

claw3 · 17/12/2009 08:38

Its not her fault, your life isnt what you want it to be. YABU.

ILoveGregoryHouse · 17/12/2009 08:42

YABU

Some people talk up their lives in order to be more positive about them. Maybe that's what she's doing. What's wrong with that? Try being a proper friend to her. Or leave her alone.

MrsSantosnotSanta · 17/12/2009 08:43

I think everyone is being a bit harsh here. You sound unhappy and your friend certainly must be - ADs are given for a reason (perhaps she knows her husband is a cheating scumbag?)

Is she more of a friend or colleague? Maybe you need to distance yourself nicely and focus on developing other friendships.

She may be envious of you as you had the strength to get through a broken marriage and you are still holding it together (you have job and your independence). Some of my friends do the apparently smug bit but then totally contradict themselves by describing really quite shitty behaviour from their H/Ps but they choose to stay in their relationships and pity me as I'm leaving mine . I tune out a bit when they do that and focus on what I like about them - none of us are perfect, after all.

BTW I think this is the worst time of year for displays of genuine or inauthentic familial smugness. Roll on January!!

MrsSantosnotSanta · 17/12/2009 08:46

"you have job" for pete's sake, I sound illiterate

Bonsoir · 17/12/2009 08:49

You sound

That's not very nice.

FolornHope · 17/12/2009 08:50

oh i dont blame oyu at all
silly caaaaaaw

mumoverseas · 17/12/2009 08:51

Sorry, did I read your OP right? You are her 'friend'?

FolornHope · 17/12/2009 08:52

oh come on you lot - friends annoy each other. peopel can be annoying
i dont blame you
she sounds rahter irritating OP

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