AIBU to wish a friend would shut up about how perfect her life is?

[totallyawesome]

it's getting on my wick!

She has, on the face of it, a perfect life. She is smugly happily married, they have no money worries, she is smugly entirely happy in her job, they have enough money to spend on a new car, are talking about buying a bigger house, she can go on business trips with work (and therefore maintain her career) because hubby will take care of the kids.

In contrast, I am on my own, smugly happily divorced, have much less disposable income, am just about content in my job (but am thoroughly sick of having to work with her), have no chance of trips with work because I can't get childcare and my career is suffering in comparison.

One of the few things that's keeping me sane is knowing that her life is only perfect with the aid of Prozac. And that her hubby is not entirely satisfied with their sex life because he has tried it on with me!

is it ok to be hacked off? or have I turned into a Grumpy Old Woman?

"her hubby is not entirely satisfied with their sex life because he has tried it on with me"

indeed, in the same way that maybe your hubby was not entirely satisfied with yours

nasty

slightly less subtle than me thesecondcoming

OP you are a complete buttmunch ! Feeling happy that her DH has tried it on with you and she is on AD's is nasty. Lets hope you never have to deal with depression.

What's that saying? " Jealousy makes them nasty"

i think that this is a clear case of jealousy... we all experience it at some point and deal with it differently so lets stop being so harsh.

totallyawesome often times we go through some hard times and don't really want the world to know our issues so we will sugar coat stuff to make it seem like we are doing better than we really are.

you are a strong independwnt woman, don't let anger and jealousy bring you down. Take stock of your life, where you are now and where you would like to be and work towards it.... keep your head up!

Crowing because someone is depressed is very low...

Well i thought YANBU until I got to the bit about Prozac and her husband. Evidently her either her life isn't perfect but she thinks it is (not a Bad Thing) or her life isn't perfect and she knows it and a very Sad Thing.

Either way there is a possibility one or even both of you are Toxic Friends to each other and it might be worth while taking a step back from each other. if you aren't Toxic Friends then she sounds like she needs a good friend and do you.

Whatever you do - stay away from her husband he doesn't sound much good

Fuck me! You sound like a wonderful friend

I think the assumption that any bloke who can't keep it in his pants has a crap sex life with his wife, is probably a step too far. Especially on MN.

It's old fashioned jealousy. Get over yourself.

maybe everyone has deep down dark thoughts like this but I am wondering why on earth you would post them on here and also ask AIBU?

Well, if hubby has tried it on with you then their "perfect" life is far from it! The most "perfect" couple we knew fell apart last year. Never judge by the outside.

Oh dear you're so jealous and why? She's obviously not got it all and those who shout the loudest about being 'happy' are usually not happy at all.

Perhaps you should just be ready to catch her when she falls rather than being enviously, it's a horrible trait in a person.

Maybe you should get on the prozac. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way.

I think she is talking like this because underneath she is NOT happy and she probably secretly envies you your single mum happy status so she focuses on money as that is the thing you have got and she hasn't.

Maybe you need to be more honest with each other

In my experience people who are genuinely happy in life just get on with it quietly, and those who are trying to convince themselves are those who shout loudest about it.

If the friend is going on about her "perfect life" but is on ADs I suspect this is because there are lots of things she is very unhappy about but feels guilty about being unhappy when on the face of it, she has so much going for her, and so she talks about the good things to help keep a stiff upper lip.

If you really are her friend (and TBH your OP doesn't sound that friendly), she probably could do with a kinder ear and then you might find out what's really going on and support her.

Try and cut her a bit of slack. She is probably going on about how perfect everything in the hope that she will make it a reality.

Clearly it is not a reality if she is on ADs - she is obviously depressed and she has marital problems if her DH is trying it on with other women. She must feel quite unhappy.

Until I got to the bit about Anti-D's & the husband I thought you were being R.

But ...

It cheers you up that she's on Anti-Ds?

Blimey, that's not very nice of you. Have YOU ever suffered from depression or anxiety? Have you any idea how soul-destroyingly, all-conusmingly awful it is?

I'm gobsmacked by your insensitivity.
Have you thought that maybe your friend is "going on" about how perfect her life is because it is acutally far from perfect and she's trying to make herself feel better? I mean, she's not taking Anti-Ds for nothing, they are licensed prescription drugs FFS, not aspirin.

YABvvvvvU. And cruel.

Is she proclaiming her life is perfect or is this how you perceive it to be.

YABU I was once in a similar situation. Everyone percieved our life/marriage to be perfect although not through us bragging. Dh in good job nice house/car, lovely mannered kids and a really happy marriage but it truth we were falling apart at the seams

Taking each other for granted, him not being there for us as a family as he was always away with work/golf/weekends away, him not trusting me. I couldn't cope with DC's

He then deveolped a roving eye with a supposed friend of mine which nearly killed me. I had a breakdown was almost sucicidal, was on AD's and my weight dropped dangerously low.

Still people didn't realise thought we had a perfect life.....until i actually explained to friends what was really going on.

Thier support really helped me through, it took a very long time to get over it.
I would hate to think that any friend of mine was jealous to the extent of gloating in my misery.

you need to step back from the friendship if this is how you feel

Also, I think she feels like you're judging her.

If she's going on about how great her life is then YANBU to wish she'd shut up.

Gloating about your own success when others are struggling is not nice and v annoying.

If she's doing this then I can understand the 'hah! it's not as great as you make out' type thoughts about her DH and Ad's.

YABU.

'her life is only perfect with the aid of Prozac'

that's because she has a mental illness and/or depression.

and that's 'keeping you sane'.

some friend.

Sorry to be blunt but YABU and unkind on top of it.

YABU and really nasty