AIBU to wish a friend would shut up about how perfect her life is?

[totallyawesome]

it's getting on my wick!

She has, on the face of it, a perfect life. She is smugly happily married, they have no money worries, she is smugly entirely happy in her job, they have enough money to spend on a new car, are talking about buying a bigger house, she can go on business trips with work (and therefore maintain her career) because hubby will take care of the kids.

In contrast, I am on my own, smugly happily divorced, have much less disposable income, am just about content in my job (but am thoroughly sick of having to work with her), have no chance of trips with work because I can't get childcare and my career is suffering in comparison.

One of the few things that's keeping me sane is knowing that her life is only perfect with the aid of Prozac. And that her hubby is not entirely satisfied with their sex life because he has tried it on with me!

is it ok to be hacked off? or have I turned into a Grumpy Old Woman?

i agree with polly and babs now

PollyPoo - I wouldn't think most MNers want to have 'a laugh' about some poor woman who depressed, and whose husband sounds like a knob.

What is wrong with trying to find humour in a situation she is finding difficult? OP is not being rude or abusive to her friend, she is I assume, letting off steam here, precisely because she won't say any of the original post to her friend. She is probably just trying (and perhaps failing today) to grinn and bear it in RL, knowing that she will be around to pick up the pieces when the mask slips.

Of course I could be wrong, the OP could just be an absolute bitch, but because the majority here were so keen to impart their judgement, then we probably won't get to ask her any more questions and find out for sure!

Forlorn [sgrin]

Pollypoo, I think if the OP had any sense, she wouldn't have worded her post in the way she did. I'm sure she would have received many more sympathetic views and practical advice if she hadn't written a line like this:

"One of the few things that's keeping me sane is knowing that her life is only perfect with the aid of Prozac. And that her hubby is not entirely satisfied with their sex life because he has tried it on with me!"

Perhaps if she'd left that bit out, this thread would be very different.

COLLEAGUE!! Someone you work with but are 'thoroughly sick of'. Not friend.

Hope that helps, OP. Maybe I for one would have been much nicer. (Though maybe not)

However if you really do mean 'friend', I stand by my earlier post. Meanie.

Of course, no one should evr have bad thougts about someone on AD's. an imporatnt MN rule that.

and particuary no unkind thoughts about their depression. only kind understanding thougts allowed.

You lot must be continuosly censoring your thoughts. or just much nicer than me. and polly.forlorn.

I wish my real name was Babs.

Maybe what she meant what was her friend is driving her INSANE and the the only reason she hasn't told her to shut the fuck up is because she knows things aren't that perfect after all. (Which in my book = good friend.) She sounds to me like she is at her wits end with this friend and is trying to find humour in a crap situation. You know, the old 'got to laugh or I will cry' scenario?

Unfortunately it does not come across so well with the written word. Maybe she is not as clever with her words as wot we are Tiger. I am sure she is deeply regretting her post now and will think far more carefully about what she wishes to portray next time if she ever posts again.

Pollypoo - Will be interesting to see if the OP does come back.

Baroness - not even going bother responding to your post.

Hey ho

YANBU OP - I can't stand smugness, especially about family stuff. And is there anything worse than people who go on about their holidays, the new car they are thinking of buying, and their plans to move to a bigger house? NO! It's just so bloody boring apart from anything else.

Also LOL at all the people on this thread going 'you're just jealous' as if it's the worst thing in the world. Aren't we all jealous sometimes?

Yes of course we all get jealous at times, but it sounds like the OP is positively joyful at her friends misery.

Actually don't think YANBU .

Boasting is a sin for a good reason because even the saints found it incredibly annoying.

I don't think the OP is gloating or taking triumph in someones elses misfortune. She's just seeing the truth behind the guff and giving herslf a reality check that her life isn't that bad after all.

Boasting isn't a sin actually. Pride is. Can't be sure that's what the OP's friend is doing when she is boasting. Then again, Despair is also a sin and the friend could also be trying to avoid it.

despair is a sin??? Missed that one in Sunday school, I'm afraid...

"But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is sin."(James 4:16).

Vainglorious boasting is a sin actually in and indeed so is despair.

There are a least 16 biblical quotes condemning boasting. However sanctified boasting - boasting in praise of the Lord- is fine and dandy and encouraged.

"Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."Corinthians 1:31

If someone appears to be happy then it doesn't mean they are gloating. Maybe they prefer to appear positive and uncomplaining, and keep their problems private.

I'm on Team Barbara for this one.

Some people on this thread seem to have delighted in cherry-picking lines from the OP and using them to bash the OP with. Even though 10 squillion other Mners have just written an identical post.

Seems to me the OP was cack-handedly written. When she says that the only thing keeping her sane is ... she means keeping her sane in one situation - which is having to listen to her colleague/friend trill on about her perfect everything which is insensitive if the OP has a broken marriage/money worries/career concerns. So the OP has a normal knee-jerk reaction of thinking "yeah, right, it aint' that peachy, love."

The OP sounds insecure. I have a friend like this. I'm not sure whether she's just completely tactless or there's a covert agenda, but she has a habit of gloating about the very aspect of her life that she knows you're struggling with. But I know that she has her own issues, even though she doesn't talk about them. She's not someone who I confide in, but she's still my friend because we have a long-standing relationship and I enjoy hanging out with her occassionally. The OP has to work with this person, so in a way easier to be friends (on the surface) than not.

You're her friend you say

How mean taking pleasure in the fact that her DH has tried it on with you!

Oops, I meant the OP's friend sounds insecure. Although to be fair, the OP probably is as well (as are most of us)

Was Pollyanna insuferably smug?

Lots of people strive to focus on the positive

Wow, I bet the op wasn't expecting this kind of response.
I think her friend might be saying how great everything is, to try to convince herself that it's true.
I think the op should try to be a better friend and not so of her.

Oh please! You lot sound so pompous. Give the girl a break.

If the only way someone can make themselves happy is to rub their friends noses in their 'perfect' lives instesd of showing some tact towards someone who is obviously in a less fortunate position then they deserve criticism.
AD's or no AD's.

YABU and jealous even if you dont admit it.