Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have just had a huge row with a friend over DS finding his willy!!

95 replies

JacksmamaInAPearTree · 16/12/2009 18:25

DS (22 months) has found his willy. He's found that it wees (to his huge amusement) and that if he plays with it, it will (in the way of all penises ) stand up and it feels good. Also hugely amusing, and, IMHO, completely normal.

I don't quite know how this came up when talking to a friend today. She has a DD a tiny bit younger than DS. And she said that I shouldn't let him play with his willy because if I did, he'd turn into one of those boys who expose themselves in the school yard . WTF?? And that normal babies shouldn't be pleasuring themselves (thereby implying there was something wrong with my DS.)

So I asked what she thought her DD was doing when she scoots up to the post in the middle of the room and hugs it and wriggles. She completely freaked out and called me a filthy-minded cow , whereupon I called her a hypocrite - this being the woman who felt free to tell me that her Rabbit got quite a workout when she was expecting her DD as her DH was too tired for sex at the end of his work day.

I don't know whether to laugh or be . As I can be a bit squeamish when discussing sex it's a novelty to be called a filthy-minded cow .

But AFAIK it's normal for toddlers to discover their bits and play with them, and provided it's not done out in public or to an abnormal extent, I see nothing wrong with it! I leave DS to it when he plays with his willy in the bath and he loses interest in about a minute... it's not like he's obsessing with it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 16/12/2009 18:26

YANBU

TheArmadillo · 16/12/2009 18:27

she is a little on the extreme side isn't she?

RealityIsRoastingChestnuts · 16/12/2009 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 16/12/2009 18:28

YANBU. It's normal. Your friend doesn't sound very clued up about toddlers, quite frankly.

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 18:28

YANBU

She is a loon.

Buddleja · 16/12/2009 18:32

YANBU

Tis totally normal for boys to find their willies and play with them.

I think that boys whose expose themselves in the school yard are more then likely to be brought up by mothers and fathers who think that a baby/toddler touching part of their body as being filthy.

Mishy1234 · 16/12/2009 18:32

YANBU. It's completely normal for your DS to be investigating himself.

Your friend is being an idiot.

Original poster
JacksmamaInAPearTree · 16/12/2009 18:33

Well, I thought so... but DS is my first toddler so what do I know? (When in doubt, as the MN Jury.)

OP posts:
Morloth · 16/12/2009 18:34

YANBU, all toddlers love their bits it is just easier for boys because they are more accessible.

rasputin · 16/12/2009 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coldtits · 16/12/2009 18:37

You're right. She is both a prude and a hypocrite.

And her daughter will be a raving nyphomaniac by the time she's twenty, due to pent up frustration and curiosity she';s never been allowed to explore.

pagwatch · 16/12/2009 18:38

One of my friends used to bring her DS over and we managed to exchange pleasantries while he dry humped my leather poouf for hours at an end.
I did occasionally wish he would at least look at the lego as my poouf became misshapen - but he eventually either got bored or learnt a little discretion.
DD was dignified in managing to ignore it but I think was quietly envious. She has since said that she would love to have a willy to play with when she was bored.
I hope I am not misunderstanding her.

Boys do that.
YANBU.
She has isshhoooo IMO

TulipsAndTinsel · 16/12/2009 18:41

pmsl.

lucky you getting to 22 months btw, ds2 discovered that his feels nice when he rubs it at 4/5 months old... now every nappy change the hand gets shoved southwards immedietly, not great if it's a pooey nappy!

ds1 announced in the shower recently in horrified tones 'my penis is getting big!' so i answered 'well stop playing with it then' to be informed 'but i like it big mommy' [sigh]

dp was shocked when i informed him if i change ds1's nappy at night he always has an erection and asked in scandalised tones 'is that supposed to happen at his age' [eye rolling emoticon needed]

dd is just as bad tbh but at least it's less noticable with her!

SantasKinkyKnickers0nMaHead · 16/12/2009 18:43

YANBU, what a loon.

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 16/12/2009 18:45

my DS just got an 18th birthday card that says "play with you willy while you can"

i thought it was the favourite play thing of all boys?

yanbu. her child will have major hangups!

claw3 · 16/12/2009 18:47

Oh finding the willy gave ds hours of fun when he was younger. Seeing what it can fit into in the bath. Just wait until your ds realises he can direct the wee and moving targets ie the cats!

He is now 5.5 and the novelty has worn off. Im fully expecting him to compare willies in school at some point too!

Your friend needs to take a chill pill, its normal.

overmydeadbody · 16/12/2009 18:52

yanbu and your friend is a prude.

secretgardin · 16/12/2009 18:52

YANBU. what a silly cow. i used to let my ds get on with it and as you say, they quickly move on to other more interesting things when he was old enough to understand, i explained about not playing with willies in public, but never made a big deal

morningpaper · 16/12/2009 18:54

Unless he has found it in a jar on your dressing table then YANBU

MissMoopy · 16/12/2009 19:04

How neurotic is she?
I have no problem with my daughter playing with herself - its her vagina, she attaches no sexual ideas to her vagina, she just knows it feels nice. If you stop them, you introduce the idea that they should be ashamed of their bodies. I am just careful that she understands that she only does it at home and no one else is allowed to do it to her. And that its best not to do it all the time!

RantApplause · 16/12/2009 19:12

When dd was 9months old I was a single mum and used to work away from home for three days, back for three days and so on. On one of the occasions I was away I got a frantic call from my mother saying dd was being taken to hospital. I rushed to said hospital and found my mother crying on the ward. She said dd had begun 'fitting' and passed out. Obviously I was in an awful state. Little dd was out cold in the cot.

She soon came around but docs decided to keep her in for a few days and do and EEG. She had simular episodes over those few days and finally the doctor was doing his rounds and managed to observe one. He told us not to worry and he would be back later.

DD was in great form when a group of doctors arrived to the room....I nearly fell over from embarrassment and shock when the lovely smiling consultant announced that my baby was not fitting but masterbating (to much sniggers from the student docs)

She didn't stop for years then. Tis no harm.

Don't worry about your friend, she's crazy.

YANBU

LizzyLordsALeaping · 16/12/2009 19:18

YANBU, not at all, all perfectly natural, let em get on with it.

DS1 was quite interested in his willy and what it could do, I remember SIL asking if he'd liked the bath toys she'd bought him for Christmas, she giggled when I informed her that he had found his willy and now nothing was getting a look in.

DS2 is a whole different kettle of fish, he found his willy as a baby (9mths or maybe less), he has a fiddle whenever it hits the air, potty training was a nightmare. We have caught him trying to get it into the TV sockets. Just this evening he was asking loudly if I would put some sticky tape on it, have no idea why. He is 4 in March.

at Pag's dryhumping guest

LizzyLordsALeaping · 16/12/2009 19:20

at Rant! How scary, but also how funny, how old is she now? Great teasing material

Pushingonthrough · 16/12/2009 21:23

Oh christ my dd1 has a fiddle all the time. I do stop her though as she makes herself sore after a while!

YANBU by the way

happyharry · 16/12/2009 21:30

Yes I hope its natural as my ds 3 was in the bath the other day and announced. "Mummy I have a problem my willy is too big!"

Swipe left for the next trending thread