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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have just had a huge row with a friend over DS finding his willy!!

95 replies

JacksmamaInAPearTree · 16/12/2009 18:25

DS (22 months) has found his willy. He's found that it wees (to his huge amusement) and that if he plays with it, it will (in the way of all penises ) stand up and it feels good. Also hugely amusing, and, IMHO, completely normal.

I don't quite know how this came up when talking to a friend today. She has a DD a tiny bit younger than DS. And she said that I shouldn't let him play with his willy because if I did, he'd turn into one of those boys who expose themselves in the school yard . WTF?? And that normal babies shouldn't be pleasuring themselves (thereby implying there was something wrong with my DS.)

So I asked what she thought her DD was doing when she scoots up to the post in the middle of the room and hugs it and wriggles. She completely freaked out and called me a filthy-minded cow , whereupon I called her a hypocrite - this being the woman who felt free to tell me that her Rabbit got quite a workout when she was expecting her DD as her DH was too tired for sex at the end of his work day.

I don't know whether to laugh or be . As I can be a bit squeamish when discussing sex it's a novelty to be called a filthy-minded cow .

But AFAIK it's normal for toddlers to discover their bits and play with them, and provided it's not done out in public or to an abnormal extent, I see nothing wrong with it! I leave DS to it when he plays with his willy in the bath and he loses interest in about a minute... it's not like he's obsessing with it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
doesntplaywellwithothers · 17/12/2009 08:06

YANBU...I potty trained my ds a couple of months before his 3rd birthday...am convinced that it was successful only because he realised that big boy pants meant easier access!!
It's what boys do...she's being a bit neurotic!

Buddleja · 17/12/2009 09:36

Ah ha! The mystery of the post in the middle of the room is solved!!

I had another thought your friend does know there's grown men that like a good fiddle doesn't she?

KissingUnderTheMittsletoe I dunno about requesting a good stretch but they might a good pull

KissingUnderTheMittsletoe · 17/12/2009 09:38

Buddlja

JemL · 17/12/2009 09:41

YANBU. Ds1 (3.5) is quite bereft at the moment as he has a new bed. He used to use the bedpost at the end of the old one for what he called "wiggle time" i.e humping the end of it until his head got sweaty. Once he told the bedpost he loved it, which was slightly worrying. God knows what he will find now, I definitely won't buy a pouffe!

bumpybecky · 17/12/2009 09:51

Your friend is a loon! it's all totally normal

dd3 (4) has recently started dry humping cushions on the sofa much to DH's disbelief then horror. She even did it in front of her two sisters and grandparents last week We're working on the 'doing it in private' thing. Christmas might be interesting....

chocolaterabbit · 17/12/2009 10:00

YANBU. I remember carrying my nephew on my shoulders a year or so ago aged about 2, he suddenly annouced 'Auntie chocolaterabbit, I like sitting on your shoulders because I can rub my willy against your neck and it goes all big and hard - do you want to see it?'

Your friend is a bit of a loon. Wait until her DD is flopping her legs open as if for a gynae exam so she can have a proper fiddle.

cakewench · 17/12/2009 14:10

lol @ telling the bedpost he loves it! :D

My son is just under 10 months and he always does a good mauling anytime the nappy is off. Can't think of a better word for it, as he grabs a great handful and really yanks back and forth... Looks like I have more to look forward to!

and, YANBU, obviously. I'd seriously consider showing her this thread.

Morloth · 17/12/2009 14:14

With the stretching thing, I think they are supposed to aren't they? Am sure I read something somewhere about it helping to separate the foreskin from the glans.

nannynobnobs · 17/12/2009 14:20

Actually I might get some advice here! dd1 has always fiddled with herself, but she keeps rubbing herself with a blanket until she's sore and then it stings when she wees, so she tries holding it in, ends up leaking, smelly pants/trousers... it drives me mad! I've told her that her bits are hers to fiddle with as she pleases but PLEASE don't rub them hard with a woolly blanket ffs! I've actually had to confiscate two blankets. I honestly wouldn't give a shiny shit if it didn't end up with her being sore when she wees. I don't want to end up giving her a complex either!

Undercovasanta · 17/12/2009 14:23

YANBU. DS (9mo) spends the full duration of every bathtime holding his willy. He also likes to strreeeeeeeettchhh it as far as he can. It brings tears to DHs eyes just watching him!!

Morloth · 17/12/2009 14:24

nannynobnobs are you sure she is rubbing and not scratching with the blanket? Could maybe be a yeast infection or UTI that is making her itchy?

Miggsie · 17/12/2009 14:32

YANBU

Now, if he was the father of the groom, at the reception, and pulled it out and slapped it on the table in front of everyone...well THEN, you can worry.

Alas, this was a true incident at my niece's wedding.

Iklboodolphtherednosereindeer · 17/12/2009 14:35

DS does the winky dance. Strips off & wiggles from side to side then turns round and slaps his bum while singing (to the tune of In the Mood) 'In the nude doo doo'

AccioPinotGrigio · 17/12/2009 14:39

Another vote for you NBU on this. My ds aged 7 is constantly fiddling and always in front of the TV. We gently remind him that it's OK to do this but generally it should be in private and not in front of us or anybody else. He even asked me this morning if my boobs stood up when I rubbed them - just like his willy does.

AccioPinotGrigio · 17/12/2009 14:41

God - that should read "if I were to rub my boobs would they stand up". I don't hang about the house rubbing my boobs - honest!

nannynobnobs · 17/12/2009 14:44

Haha we have a 'nudey dance' here too!
Morloth its definitely the cause not the result, she does it because she likes it, she just has no restraint even when she bought a soft fleecy blanket with her birthday money, it was just as bad with that. I often go in in the mornings to wake her and she's humping her blankets really hard, augh, just do it gently, they only give you one so look after it!!
I remember my brother squeezing his willy till it went purple, and also colouring it green with a felt tip.

Mandy1966 · 17/12/2009 17:10

It gets slightly worrying as they get that bit older tho, lol
eg my eldest, hes 11 now, started what he called wobbling, when he was 2ish give or take a months, this basically involves him laying on his front and rocking his hips from side to side, it obviously feels nice..
He used to do this everywhere at home, in the middle of lunch in the pub, all sorts!!
Now thank god he only does it occasionally to get to sleep..

Original poster
JacksmamaInAPearTree · 17/12/2009 18:30

Oh man, the stretching thing - yeah, how does that NOT hurt!!

And this morning in the shower DS found that his willy fits in the handle of the shower squeegee - I nearly fell down laughing, he was so delighted!!

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 17/12/2009 18:39

My DS2 once put my wedding ring on his. That was weirdly Oedipal

OP your friend is a loon. And the most extreme frotter I have encountered was a friend's DD - got herself all hot and bothered on the straps of her buggy/high chair/car seat

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 17/12/2009 18:48

I have never ever ever heard anything more disgusting and a bit wrong.

pagwatch · 17/12/2009 18:50

This thread started with some personal happy time and has ended in a greek tragedy

Jamieandhismagictorch · 17/12/2009 18:50

I'll get me coat

pagwatch · 17/12/2009 18:55

I didn't say that as if it was a bad thing.

AliGrylls · 17/12/2009 19:00

This thread has been enlightening to say the least.

50ftChristmasTree · 17/12/2009 19:00

Yup - The stretching is to help separate the glans from the foreskin. It apparently feels very pleasant. My DS announced to me that he had a stripe and a hole in his bottom when he was around 2.5 years old. I asked him how he knew so he showed me. Laying on his back, legs spread wide in the air with his finger up his arse - "see mummy, a stripe and a hole".