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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bllody hate 'Im not doing doing cards this year....I'm giving to Charity'

88 replies

Madascheese · 15/12/2009 06:42

I hate hate hate this.

Fine, you can't be bothered to write a few poxy cards, don't try to guilt me out by telling me you're giving money to the poor starving children.

I give money to the poor starving children, and the homeless adults, and the people with no water.

DS and I also regularly take part in sponsored stuff and give toys and gifts.

We recycle, we freecycle we spend our time thinking of exciting to new ways to save the planet, we cook food from scratch and walk our 10,000 steps a day, we feed birds responsibly...

But you know what?

We also find time to buy, write and send Christmas cards to people because it's bloody CHRISTMAS.....

Don't put messages on facebook/or email to say you're not sending cards, don't put a poster up at work. Just don't send the card if you don't want to....

GRRRR

and breathe..........

OP posts:
SantasFullAndHeavingSack · 15/12/2009 06:49

Agree with you there. I couldn't do it. I have a few friends who take a year off sending cards every now and then. Sometimes I wish i could do it, but I cannot. There are people who would wonder what had happened if i didn't send one. The ones you keep in touch with just by the card with a little bit of news in and the odd email. I would hate them to think i wasn't sending one because I didn't want to keep in touch.

MABS · 15/12/2009 06:50

totally disagree, if you really do charity work, and i have no doubt you do Madasacheese,then people respect this. All my friends know i do all my fundraising/charity donations to the local special care unit that saved my children's lives.

I am sure in some cases you are correct, people say it as a cop out, but in my case it's true. And having just arranged and hosted a fundraising ball for them which raised nearly 20K, i really have not had time or inclination to write cards, i would far rather put some more money in their funds.

BouncingTurtle · 15/12/2009 06:58

YABU. Why waste a load of money on cards that could go to a good cause?

I tend to compromise - I send cards to family members and friends who don't have internet access, to the rest I send them Cancer Research e-cards.

LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 15/12/2009 06:58

I wouldn't mind if I believed them

There's a difference though between I too busy raising money and I'm ging to send the money to charity instead.

Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 07:00

Sorry Mabs, but you've got me wrong there.

I didn't suggest anyone would not give the money or the time to Charity in lieu of the cards.

xMad

OP posts:
Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 07:15

And an excellent point, raising £20k for your local hospital is slighty more time consunming and requires considerably more commitment than dropping off a cheque for £15 at your local charity shop.

I'm sure all the people who know you will appreciate just how hard you have been working for the special care unit.

xMad

PS Well done on the £20k by the way, that must have given them a huge boost.

OP posts:
WynkenBlynkenandNod · 15/12/2009 07:33

I do see your point but have done it anyway. A friend died earlier this year and her DD is running the marathon to raise funds for Lupus Uk. I've donated £50 to this which is card money plus a bit. But I don't want to say what I've done so I'm hoping people don't really notice the lack of card.

MmeLindt · 15/12/2009 07:37

I don't do cards because I am too lazy.

And because it has gotten out of hand in UK. Fair enough, I might send a card to some folk who I have not seen for ages, but my mum gives a card to her neighbour.

Why? Just say, 'Merry Christmas, MrsM. Why don't you come in for a tea and some mincepies and have a chat?'

GhoulsAreLoud · 15/12/2009 07:45

I'm not doing cards this year. We've all had swine flu and are still suffering and I don't have the energy to even put the washing on, let alone mess around with xmas cards.

I was going to put a message on facebook saying as much but I won't bother now.

Ewe · 15/12/2009 07:54

YABU

My Mum spent some time in Uganda in August with her company who sponsor a neo-natal unit there, instead of sending Christmas cards she is donating £500 to this cause. She didn't feel that she could go out and spend a fortune on cards and postage for what is essentially a pointless exercise when she knows what impact the time and money could have elsewhere. And it's better for the environment.

It does often sound a bit preachy though, I'll give you that!

Rainbowinthesky · 15/12/2009 07:55

I don't do cards. Can't bear them but then I don't like a lot of the commercialisation about xmas.

MamaLazarou · 15/12/2009 07:57

YABU - charities need the money more than stationery companies do.

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs · 15/12/2009 08:00

We did not do cards at work this year and instead had a collection which raised a fair amount for the local hospice which is under threat of closure.
I do cards for family / friends who live further afield but not for people I see most days.
I can't stand the commercialism at Christmas nor the thought of the environmental impact of all these cards being made, shipped, packaged, posted and then discarded.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2009 08:02

I love cards and hearing from far flung friends. I would rather give up the presents. You can send cards and give to charity-it doesn't have to be either/or.

Flame · 15/12/2009 08:07

I'm not doing cards or charity. I am evil.

Meh.

Allets · 15/12/2009 08:11

Agree with OP.

How hard is it to get out the address book and send a hand written card or note to family and friends to let them know that you are thinking of them?

I think it is a lovely tradition and well worth the time spent. Cards that cost a fortune are not mandatory - my kids draw their cards.

If you can't take the time at Xmas to make contact with your nearest and dearest in some sort of personal way, I think that's a sad reflection on "progress".

FlamingoCrimbo · 15/12/2009 08:18

YABU

Christmas cards are a waste of money and a waste of paper. Very bad for the environment just to say Happy Christmas to someone I am seeing and can say in person!

I only send Christmas cards to people I will not be seeing and I make those, unless the children are on a craft spree - we'll send those out if they make enough, but I'm not going to bust a gut.

And 'If you can't take the time at Xmas to make contact with your nearest and dearest in some sort of personal way,'??? That's ridiculous! What does sending a crappy piece of card do that arranging to meet up, having friends over, giving some home made mince-pies to etc. do? Sorry, but I'd rather have real personal contact than a card that just gets added to all the other ones and then chucked in the bin (after being hacked up for next year's gift tags).

deaddei · 15/12/2009 08:26

I didn't send last year- and only sent 6 this year because I forgot I wasn't sending any and saw some nice cards.....and bought them before I remembered I wasn't sending them!
I never know what to DO with the ones I receive- having just had the downstairs decorated I don't want to stick pins in my pristine walls and string them up1
I really don't see the point of sending them to people I never see/ring/email during the year.

DaftApeth · 15/12/2009 08:27

What is wrong with giving the money to charity though?

I've just spent £18 on stamps alone - they are only second class too. I don't want to add up how much I spent on cards, including the extra 40 odd for the dc's friends at school.

If I had chosen to give the money to charity instead, it would have been a lot more than the few coins I would normally give to a street collector, so a good thing, imo.

ps. I always buy charity cards though

Tortington · 15/12/2009 08:28

cards are £1. you can do both

give to charity and do cards

cards are an indication of thought - that you were thought of.

i have a strong feeling that the people who do this - get lots of cards. I don't think they would think this way if they only got a card from their dh

Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 08:31

Intersting assumptions here:

a) You can't do giving to Charity and sending cards....
b) No cards can be Charity Cards
c) That I was talking about people with valid reasons for not sending cards as a one off....

Fair play to people who think it's a waste of money and don't 'do' cards. I love Christmas cards, I love getting them and sending them. I love that DS writes his name on them and the fact that when people get them they will go 'awww, look littlemadascheese can write his name' and to be perfectly honest the environmental impact of Christmas cards pales into insignificance against the bloody power stations being built around the world and the enormous enviromental impact of Supermarket packaging

xMad

OP posts:
bintofbohemia · 15/12/2009 08:34

I'm not doing cards OR charity. If I had the £30 or so to spend on cards I'd put it in the gas meter.

FlamingoCrimbo · 15/12/2009 08:37

Paling into insignificance in environmental terms? Not if everyone stopped sending them!

I just have a big problem with anything that is a monumental waste of anything - I hate wrapping paper and do my best to re-use it. I hate envelopes for cards that are being hand delivered.

It's this 'it's ok to waste things' attitude that is one of the biggest problems IMO.

Anyway, that's going off on a tangent.

As you were!

Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 08:40

Again, fair play bintofbohemia, I am talking about the attitude of people who can afford to do both though...

It started with Oxfam and the give a goat for Christmas, which I think is a nice idea and does remind us how fortunate we are. then all the Charities started producing fantastically glassy brochures with their presents in and it's turned into a conscience salving exercise but we still have to 'get something out of it' by publicsing what we're doing.

I'm not anti charity at all, but I do tend to give my regular donations to smaller charities like WaterAid, local hospices and hospitals who I figure need my money far more than the big ones who can afford such lavish marketing budgets...

OP posts:
Ladyem · 15/12/2009 08:42

YANBU

That piece of card can really make someone's day. Especially, as in my case, lots of friends live in other cities and countries. That said, I have already sent cards to my street as I live in a small village where we all know each other! I love sending (and receiving) cards. I buy charity cards directly from my chosen charity and get my DD to make some and it's a chance to write a little personal message wishing friends and family a happy Christmas, wishing them the best for whatever they have coming up in the new year - ie new baby, house move, new job. You can personalise it and also give to charity. But then I think I'm a little old fashioned as I still write letters to Grandparents and elderly Aunts!!