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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bllody hate 'Im not doing doing cards this year....I'm giving to Charity'

88 replies

Madascheese · 15/12/2009 06:42

I hate hate hate this.

Fine, you can't be bothered to write a few poxy cards, don't try to guilt me out by telling me you're giving money to the poor starving children.

I give money to the poor starving children, and the homeless adults, and the people with no water.

DS and I also regularly take part in sponsored stuff and give toys and gifts.

We recycle, we freecycle we spend our time thinking of exciting to new ways to save the planet, we cook food from scratch and walk our 10,000 steps a day, we feed birds responsibly...

But you know what?

We also find time to buy, write and send Christmas cards to people because it's bloody CHRISTMAS.....

Don't put messages on facebook/or email to say you're not sending cards, don't put a poster up at work. Just don't send the card if you don't want to....

GRRRR

and breathe..........

OP posts:
Fibilou · 15/12/2009 08:43

We all know that hardly anyone actually gives the money to charity so YANBU. I would rather people just said "I'm not bothering this year" and I'd think "goodo, less for me to send"

pigletmania · 15/12/2009 08:45

Good on you why not! Why give cards to people you see regularly, only the people you dont. I do admit to cutting down my card list excluding people who dont bother about me throughout the year despite my trying on my part.

Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 08:46

FlamingoChrimbo (sorry I'm on a right one about this)

I'm not saying 'it's ok to waste things' and in our house, we don't (trust me, single Mum working part time etc etc we don't waste anything we can possibly manage to use again much to the horror of my Mother)

You may have been making a more general comment and if so I apologise for being stroppy, but I do think we have lost sight of the big picture with environmental issues.

xMad

OP posts:
StrictlyKatty · 15/12/2009 08:46

Exactly, people never actually give the money, they just don't want to admit they are too tight/lazy to do cards!

pigletmania · 15/12/2009 08:49

oh sorry misread yabu

MABS · 15/12/2009 09:31

thanks for your positive comment Madcheese, yep £20k damn well nearly killed me.. No time to write cards, or even go to the loo really!!

My nearest and dearest know my feeling towards the baby unit, and fully support me in the fundraising. They would truly rather i gave the money to the hospital, at least that is what they say, if they are lying then it's their fault, not mine

not saying i will do this every year, but this year it seemed very appropriate.

bellissima · 15/12/2009 09:32

Why not buy charity cards - give money to charity AND keep the poor postie in a job.

(And for those who say aah but only a small percentage goes to charity, well you can buy/order carefully to make sure it's a larger share, plus, are you aware how much of that 'direct grabbit' to your charity of choice goes in commission to the chugger?)

MABS · 15/12/2009 09:36

Strictlykatty - I assure you I HAVE given the money rather tHan give cards, bit of a generalisation there.

As it happens I bought 8 little blankets,memory bags and prem sleepsuits, for the parents to keep of babies who do not sadly do not make it home ever. The hospital doesn't provide clothes for parents to keep locally.

noddyholder · 15/12/2009 09:37

I do a bit of both but don't see cards as necesary apart from for my old relatives in ireland who I never see jst to remind them i'm atill alive!not sure i'll even do that this year though.It is a shame as I think they look so pretty strung up but that is just the interiors freak in me I don't really care whether I get any or not!

noddyholder · 15/12/2009 09:38

strictlycatty you sound charming

Adair · 15/12/2009 09:39

Oh god, I agree.
It's just ridiculous. Fine, don't do cards if you don't want to (I usually forget ) but to say 'I'm giving the money to charity instead' is just . Why not 'I am not having my tin of chocolates in front of the Christmas film', or buying value loo roll and giving the difference to charity. It's just so ... missing the point - as you are sort of donating someone else's money iyswim.

Either do cards or don't. And give lots (of time/money/thought) to charity anyway.

Laquitar · 15/12/2009 09:44

I understand cards for family/friends in other cities or countries and cards for an enderly to make his/her day.
But why give a card to a friend/collegue you see every day? All these years in uk and i still find this funny tbh.

Just give 2 kisses and say 'merry Christmas'

Original poster
Madascheese · 15/12/2009 09:45

Adair - thank you that's the point I'm making and you've said it so much more effectively than I did...why make the big point about what a huge sacrifice one is making not sending cards. I don't bloody bleat on about what I sacrificed doing the week I decided to make my £30 donation to Children in Need.

xMad

OP posts:
Docbunches · 15/12/2009 09:54

YABU.

I sent mainly E-cards last year and got a few sniffy comments from family members. So this year, I'm reluctantly reverting back to sending everyone proper cards.

FWIW, I did give a donation to Shelter and will again this year, or another worthy cause. We also always give to Oxfam at Xmas.

Like others, I think the sending of Xmas cards has become completely out of hand.

ilovesprouts · 15/12/2009 09:57

uanbu as one of my fb pals in cumbran is giving to charity this year ,to centerpoint as her bro went missing and sadly found him dead months after

TerryWogansCock · 15/12/2009 09:58

calm down love, does it really matter? you do your thing and i'll do mine

i cant see WHY this would wind someone up so much, there are bigger problems in the world

btw, i am not doing cards or charity this year becuase i just dont want to, the people i love will get a gift and a great big christmas hug i dont think anyone else will give a fuck if i send them a card or not

FlamingoCrimbo · 15/12/2009 10:04

A great big hug from a cock? That would put me right off my Christmas lunch!

TerryWogansCock · 15/12/2009 10:06

oh flamingo i know you would love a hug from me really

TerryWogansCock · 15/12/2009 10:07

errr why has my festive grin got a red nose?

FlamingoCrimbo · 15/12/2009 10:11

I suppose at least it's not a big wet kiss!

Skegness · 15/12/2009 10:14

I like cards.

DuelingFanjo · 15/12/2009 10:21

Oh Hurrah for this thread. I noticed a conversation between old friends on a social networking site this morning where several of them said things like 'I give to charity regularly throughout the year and so I don't do cards'

Blergh. How nice. Use your regular monthly payments to charity as an excuse to act all holier than thou about not sending cards to anyone why don't you! It's really crass in my opinion and gives people a perfect opportunity to indulge in a bit of competitive charity giving.

Why can't people just say they don't want to waste money on cards instead of using it as an opportunity to look all selfless.

Twats!

GhoulsAreLoud · 15/12/2009 10:27

The thing is, I do have a valid reason for not sending cards this year - but half of the people I send them to I'm only in contact with via christmas cards and not email, facebook, phone or anything else.

And now I'm thinking if some of them are going to be sitting there stewing over something as pathetic as a missed christmas card.

Buddleja · 15/12/2009 10:31

I send cards to those family member and close friends that i won't see at Christmas but would like too.

I buy my cards each January so that I don't spend a fortune on them.

I do wonder if you buy charity cards in a sale - does the percentage or the stated amount sill go to the charity?

mayorquimby · 15/12/2009 10:34

don't mind the cards thing too much, i would not be happy if i got a charity gift from someone and i'd given them a present though.