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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give school a list of foods/additives etc. which ds cannot eat at the class christmas party?

345 replies

tispity · 14/12/2009 20:40

the other alternative would be to keep him off that day. he is not allergic as such, but it turns him into a little devil. i feel strongly that it makes no sense to let him eat everything one day a year while carefully controlling his diet for the remaining 364 days. i would even be willing to provide a selection of food for ds and others on his table. i don't know whether the mere suggestion would offend them as they are rushed off their feet this week and the oher parents don't appear bothered (especially those sending in haribos and value cola!).

OP posts:
displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 20:56

tispity - your son will hardly be eating much of the foods anyway. At these sorts of parties, you're lucky if a child eats a couple of sandwiches, a cocktail sausage and a handful of crisps! Hardly going to damage the poor boy! Is it's at school anyway, they're going to be conscious of providing healthier alternatives along with the party treats although I doubt many kids will choose apple over krispy cakes!
I agree with others that being so controlling over what he eats is more likely to lead to a teenager and grwon up who can't get enough of junk food, as a rebellion against the strict rules at home.
Lighten up fgs

Original poster
tispity · 14/12/2009 20:56

i was hoping there would be kids with real allergies and intolerances or likeminded parents - enough to make up a table. i find that most crisps still have msg in them and as for sausages, where do i start??? why can't schools send a list of 'suitable' foods out to parents a few weeks beforehand? i amnot a health freak - i do try never to eat these foods myself. the only grey area is when we eat out they could be passing my lips. a lot of restaurants do publish info about this online so i do my best to inform myself in advance

OP posts:
gingernutlover · 14/12/2009 20:57

oh, is the party in the morning?

Then he will have run off any extra energy by the time you collect him - if thats your main worry. silly teacher, giving children sweets and then spending the day with them ha ha

RichardCranium · 14/12/2009 20:57

Oh you were the type of parent I needed on my 'malteaser traybake for the christmas party' thread earlier.

I'm sure a few crisps and a couple of party rings will cause no long lasting damage. Let him go wild for the day.

Morloth · 14/12/2009 20:58

Are you serious? Or just stirring?

Why don't you paint a great big target on his forehead and be done with it? How long do you think you can keep this level of control up?

Original poster
tispity · 14/12/2009 20:59

i am not all that boring - ds loves homemade cakes etc but coke, sweeties are a no no

OP posts:
Clary · 14/12/2009 20:59

tispity that is not true about all crisps and msg. We had Hula hoops and mini cheddars which are both OK (I don't react well to msg personally so I try to avoid it).

"as for sausages, where do I start" rofllle at that. I'm guessing he won't ever go to any party then????

Hulababy · 14/12/2009 21:00

You can offer to send in food for your DS to consume - and then you can tell him he isn't to eat other stuff that you have't sent for him.

However it is unreasonable to expect the teacher to monitor what he eats and to prevent him from eating everything else, esp as there is no medical problems, no allergies, etc. They have enough to do and 30 children to look after.

We have a vegan child and a child with dairy allergy in our class. The party is tomorrow afternoon, and those children will be told which food are suitable for them, and they will have their own alternatives provided from home also. But the teacher won't supervise them indidivually to watch over what they eat. This is a Y1 class and we expect the children to have responsibility overal for their own choices surrounding this.

You don't say how old your child is.

I am hoping some of our kids bring in some sweeties - can pinch a couple or so on my way out, lol!

JodieO · 14/12/2009 21:01

YABU

Clary · 14/12/2009 21:01

oh my gosh "sweeties are a nono" sorry to keep quoting you but I amazed.

Honestly, the reason parents do the food freefall thing you referred to earlier is because it is impossible to control what children eat once they start school and go to friends' houses and parties and other groups etc.

All you can do is try to feed them healthily at home and teach them what is a good food choice. Believe me, I have been there.

CremeDeMenthe · 14/12/2009 21:01

YABU
What have you been asked to contribute?

Hulababy · 14/12/2009 21:02

"why can't schools send a list of 'suitable' foods out to parents a few weeks beforehand?"

But what one person considers acceptable or suitable party food may not be the same as another.

For the majority of people cocktail sausages, crisps and sweeties are part of a suitable/appropriate party selection, along with fruit, veggie sticks, hummous, etc.

Clary · 14/12/2009 21:03

yes quite hula.

Am laughing to self at OP's possible list of suitable foods.

The carrot and cucumber was widely ignore by yr 3 this afternoon (tho they did eat the grapes and melon, amazingly!)

GypsyMoth · 14/12/2009 21:03

op.....run your banned list by us then,the one you were planning to give the teachers......

naughtyameliajayne · 14/12/2009 21:04

i actually think you need to get a grip! the poor child - just let him go to the party and have fun, the poor teachers - they have enough to do without monitoring your little darlings food choices, they'll be dining out on this one in the staffroom all year. i am frankly astonished - surely you're taking the piss??? its a PARTY for CHRISTMAS. please lighten up - you are making so much work for yourself

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 21:05

I am rofl at the hope that there would be enough children with allergies and intolerances to make up a table!

CitizenPrecious · 14/12/2009 21:05

and roffle at:

"i was hoping there would be kids with real allergies and intolerances or likeminded parents - enough to make up a table."

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 14/12/2009 21:05

Your child will spend his teenage years in McDonalds or Burger King. Just to piss you off.

Seriously, you are a freak. Your poor child is in for one hell of a rough time at school labelled as weird, because you think a Haribo sweet is spawned from the Devil himself.

JInglesBells · 14/12/2009 21:06

until you said your dc was in reception, I could have sworn you were my friend... T'is exactly the same with her dc's and their weird diets, can't eat this, can't eat that, I'm sure this turns him crazy... Utter crap most of it and sure enough now they're older they go crazy at parties...
Forbid all party food/rubbish now and you are heading for a nightmare later.

Original poster
tispity · 14/12/2009 21:06

clary - yes, i know about those two, ds eats them - but most of the other have it, honestly.
re: sausages, more worried about him being offered meat (another thread though, i realise)
i know that the teacher would not be able to monitor every mouthful but ds is the youngest kid in reception so i am not sure whether he would be able to choose wisely
just dont understand why they cannot specifically tell parents "m&s piggy sweets are ok but not maynards wine gums' for instance

OP posts:
CitizenPrecious · 14/12/2009 21:06

x posts, display

...that's a double roffle

PurpleEglu · 14/12/2009 21:06

OMG how PFB ca nyou be. I truly feel sorry for your child.

I give my Dses a pretty healthy diet at home, but they can eat whatever they want at parties. You sound too controlling tbh.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/12/2009 21:07

You were 'hoping there would be kids with real allergies and intolerances'

Sure, wish a life threatening condition on your DS's classmate to avoid his having to eat suspect food.

Has anyone else seen crisps containing MSG recently? Me neither.

LetThereBeRock · 14/12/2009 21:07

Why would M&S Percy Pigs be ok but not winegums?

doesntplaywellwithothers · 14/12/2009 21:07

But those things EXIST in the world, and it is true that if you forbid them, they will become attractive.

I AM a bit of a freak about food, I make as much as possible from scratch, and I do keep healthy options around the house for DCs to choose. However, I also allow them to have sweeties occasionally, they love sausages (once and a while), and they have had crisps at parties and family gatherings.

As a result, they normally CHOOSE fruit if it's available, and they will CHOOSE cut up veg, as well...because I don't have a fit about what they eat, and I am relaxed when we're out, and I'm not the one cooking or providing the snacks. ONE DAY of eating a few things isn't going to do ANYONE a disservice...As long as he eats well the majority of the time, and gets lots of exercise, this won't affect him at all.

Really...you aren't going to be able to control his eating forever, and it shouldn't be about control...it should be about modelling and guiding healthy food choices most of the time, but also modelling that food is a lovely part of life, and a few crisps at a party is a nice treat.