Kirstie Allplop on Xmas crafts and Newsnight

[nigelslaterfan]

AIBU to have had enough of this pompous harridan?

Yes she does patronise us in a truly beautifully-spoken way and she has a lovely face, I'll give her that. But if ITV decided to commission an immoral live television event of Kirstie being chased to a likely mortal end by wolves through an attractively Christmassy nordic landscape; then I would watch.

No Kirstie NO I will NOT be doing a glass blowing course in order to learn to blow my own baubles thanks you great buxom strumpet.

And no, I don't regularly spend 10 to 20 squid on an individual Xmas tree decoration you titled hussy, I don't care how many years they last, my father is not a Lord and I shall not be buying them. Just go home to Buckinghamshiire or the Cameron's house and whittle yourself a turkey centrepiece and leave me alone,

Really, I can't see what all the fuss is about, gals.

If you haven't got the money - not to mention the time - to follow dear Kirsty's super advice, then kindly shut the feck up and get thee to Dunelm Mill instead.

Have never seen a more misjudged television programme in my life. Am sure it will be wheeled out for years to come as a superb example of how to get it totally wrong.

x post minty cane

And as for the frosted fruits - who honestly wants to eat a cold plum dipped in raw egg white and rolled in sugar?

I actually started to think maybe the production team hate her and did it on purpose to set her up. She looked like a prize loon.

Bella have you gold leafed those sparkly baubles of yours they look lovely ?

She's lost her engagement ring:

here

• how you could mislay a knuckleduster like that is beyond me

lol Minty - I think your theory could be right.

Perhaps the camera shake in the table setting scene was due to the cameraman pissing himself

I expect the production crew mistook it for a napkin ring.

I think it lends more credence to your Naive Kirsty theory Minty - she honestly thinks that ring may still be lying on the ground somewhere.

Mother to toddler: 'Put that filthy 33 carat ring back in the gutter, darling, you don't know where it's been'

snort

I see there are no external photos of Meadowgate on her website.

Do you think she's trying to hide something?

Meadowgate

Nice I bet she decorated it all herself

Perhaps next week she will show us how to make the 6 foot high illuminated candy canes for your driveway?

Now that would be useful

None of you are prepared to try hard enough though are you? I'm leaving for Venice for the glass blowing course in 25 mins from Stansted because I shall not standby and have my children gaze upon mass produced titty tatt all over their tree. Shan't.

Also how many of you are going to have the real Yuletide commitment to blardy farking roast a hog underground in your massive front lawn? How many of you lazy lazy common plebby tesco licking bottom feeding proletariat let them eat cake nylon wearing ugly bastards are going to love your family enough to roast that dirty pig in the lawn properly while your friends gambol in fake snow all boadenly beautiful sipping mulled wine?

Only gloriously elegant Willie and Tania Harcourt-Cooze - Caca have the love to do things right!! Look at how Tania loves her children in her beautiful kitchen

I bet if only Kirstie would leave hubby and move in with Willie and Tania Caca in a tremendous sexy-posh Splendage A Trois then we could have a Christmas programme that would kick Nigella and Delia's soft Asses to kingdom come and all are Christmasses would be white.

Just pondering - Kirstie couldn't possibly have failed to research the location, location of Meadowgate, could she? She must have known about the S&M dungeon next door. Maybe that's why she charges so much for it.

nigelslaterfan you speak for me too.

I hope you are doing millefiori by the way, and not just dull stripey baubles.

Apologies if anyone's drawn this comparison already, but that show made me think of Marie Antoinette playing at being a rustic peasant.

LOL, Avril.

Do you reckon she'll be teaching us the home made gimp mask next?

'First, take your vat of melted latex. I'm using a terrific antique magenta colour to match the Aga, but really it's up to you...'

NonnoMum ITYF that's 3 houses she has!

And I still heart Kirsty.

ALoveThatDareNotSpeakItsNameTiggaxx

Meadowgate doesn't seem to be very booked for next year www.helpfulholidays.com/property.asp?ref=K22&year=2010 probably as the rent is more than double what I charge for a similar property!

I'd dearly love to send her some of the guests from hell that I've had stay at my cottages over the past few years - that would pay her back for spoiling my train journeys to Paddington on several occasions by shouting at her children/nanny/into her mobile phone etc....

The show is supposed to be inspirational rather than instructive. Do all you complainers really want to watch Kirsty struggle to make something within the scope of her craft skills just for it to turn out a bit rubbish actually?
I do agree about the gilded pears though, will be giving those a miss.

No I want to see her make something that I can afford to make!! Ingenuity, not throwing money at it till it looks good, would be a damn sight better.

I was inspired enough to make some salt dough decorations this afternoon. If they turn out well I may set myself up as a professional Christmas Tree Decoration Maker and then I can get a slot on her show next year, showing her how to make WoW ones!

I have half-watched bits of this.

The chutney was bad.
The teddybear was really bad.
The homemade stocking was the final straw.

I have totally gone off her. Too unbearably twee for words.

It's the whole 'perfect Christmas' illusion that bugs me. For most women, it's just about a lot of extra hard work and we don't need even more work on top of that by handmaking everything! Bah Humbug!

How come everyone's concentrating on the £20 baubles and ignoring the front of last years Christmas cards make great gift tags, the bit where she bought second hand books and other gifts from a market or the cheaper-than-chips salt dough decorations? She did loads of cheap stuff and yet, I dunno but maybe because she's perceived as 'posh', everyone's on about how she's a rich biatch and clueless about how 'the other half' live.