to be mildly annoyed about double standards on the AIBU board?

[Asana]

Yes, I know it's supposedly the height of bad taste to talk about how much money one has. However, it's seen as perfectly fine to talk about how little money one has. For the record, where I'm originally from, it's really bad taste to talk about either.

So, AIBU to be mildly annoyed at the double standards that exist on the AIBU board?

To pre-empt the usual hunters, no, I am definitely not a troll. Well, not all the time, at any rate ...

How much money do you have then?

I have to admit, I am a little suspicious of new/namechanged posters being depressed as they can't afford xmas presents for their dcs. I feel very bad for anyone in that position, but I wonder about people's motives these days.....

why are you bringing this up?

i love a competitive money saving lentil weaving thread but a loadsamoney thread is beside the point and just infradig

therefore yabu

for posting I mean.....

I'm with Ronaldinhio on this one, that's why the Four Yorkshiremen is funny, I like the way we all sit there on our £100 - £1000 computers going 'well I only wrap presents in newspaper I nick out of other people's recycling boxes'. I don't know if it's very British, very English, very Home Counties or just very bourgeois. I'm all of those so I'm right in there with my exciting tales of how to save 2p a week on groceries.

Is it really a double-standard though? People come on to vent/solicit opinion on something that is giving them a problem. Having not enough money is at the root of many a problem, having lots is rarely a problem.

??.was going to post. The saw that had WhereYouLeftIt had made the very same point that I was going to?

Not sure. Think maybe YABU. It's bad taste unless it's actually interesting for some reason, or relevant to the discussion. People who just come on and say "why can't my lawyer husband give me more than £750 spending money per week" are annoying. Whereas someone grappling with a lack of money may get some real help on here.

yabu
come on it is easy
post a sob story and get a whip round, wait a while and do it again........doesn't work if you say you have oodles of cash

"But no one ever wishes you well, or concedes that you now deserve it because you've slaved for it."

This is assuming that everyone who has less money than you does not work as hard- a little naive (at best) perhaps LeQueen?

Or do you really believe that we live in a meritocracy?

Whereyouleftit makes a good point.

I think YAB abit U. Alot of the time when people post about their dire financial situation on AIBU its just a vent and a way to get advice on how they can change things.

I personally dont think there is anything wrong in saying how much money you have as long as it is in the right situation. Maybe say starting a thread about how you are looking forward to your carribean holiday.

On the other hand, it would be pretty tasteless to post on a thread where people are literally not paying their leccy so they can put food on the table about how you spend the equivalent of their leccy bill every day on something frivelous.

YABU
I have fuck all apart from grocery money until the 21st, when hopefully I'll get paid and be able to afford Christmas presents. This makes me extremely stressed and therefore is something I would post about on MN. (Don't see many people around being stressed/depressed/etc about having too much money!)

And, my computer cost me nothing

LeQueen that reminds me of Frank Skinner's autobiography (great book) - 'It makes me laugh when people say fame is hard. They should try working 40 hours a week in a drop-forging factory. I have - fame's better.'

I don't contribute to the whip round threads because I am a bit suspicious and also very disorganised, but I was once sent a present by someone on here who I have met in RL and there is something about that random act of kindness that makes the world a lot brighter.

The answer to AIBU is almost invariably YABU, you know.

In this case, I do think YABU. Well sort of anyway. It's always bad taste to talk about money but there are other related forms of bad taste that are profoundly irritating:-

1. Faux-poverty - where people bemoan their lack of shekels and having to watch the electricity bills while skiing in Whistler or sunning in the Bahamas.

1. Competitive poverty - you know what I mean

I agree that usually an "I am broke thread" is a stress release valve.

We had a very tough year financially last year and I posted a thread about it, I think in the run up to Christmas, not because I wanted anything or even to do competitive povertying but because it was all going round and round in my head and getting out of proportion and I needed to let it out. I also benefitted from outsiders giving me practical advice - we got through it.

There are threads on here all the time on how people are spending their money from dresses, to school fees, to houses to holidays.

It would be rather odd to start a post saying I have loads of money isn't life great but there is nothing wrong with starting a thread to say I am so chuffed I have bought ...

LeQueen I have lived the highlife as you decribe and people did congratulate my husband and myself for it and recognised the work it had taken to get there. In a similar way, even though my life style is modest it is comfortable and I also think people recognise that we have worked hard to achieve what we have.

I thought the whole point of the internet was to have conversations with strangers that you wouldn't necessarily have face-to-face with friends, family or colleagues.

Anal sex, anyone?

I think because of the whole Secret Santa thing that runs on MN, some people are suspicious of your motives if you mention you're skint.

I think most of us have no hidden motives other than releasing some worries into the web and realising that a lot of other people are in the same boat, or worse.

It's not a double standard on these boards, it's about consideration and kindness towards those who are genuinely struggling. It is vile not having enough money to eat and pay your bills, and someone rubbing it in your face by showing off about not having enough money to do something which is luxurious by the standards of 99.9 per cent of the rest of the world is HORRIBLE. Kindness makes the world go round, and mumsnet a much better place. And no-one likes a show-off. Just create a thread for people who like showing off about their money and leave them to it. I'm sure it'll be fascinating.

ps I'm so glad I found out here that being affluent is a lot more fun.

YANBU at all.

It is competitive poverty allowed, anyone dare to say they are doing well,do not need assistance, have enough to live on and a bit over is shot down.

Unfortunately even if they do have the balls LeQueen it doesn't always pay off. My ex did precisely that (with my blessing) and it did NOT pay off despite very hard work. Once we separated there was nothing left. I now live in a council property which I count my blessings for and feel very fortunate. Money is not always plentiful but there is food on the table and I don't consider myself poor.

I totally agree though that just because you like Chanel lippy it does not make you a nasty shallow person.... I go for Clinique myself - expensive but worth every penny