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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

but I don't actually like children

96 replies

CDDA86 · 05/12/2009 22:28

Obviously I like my own, but I find everyone else's annoying, unpleasant and basically a pain in the neck. Am I alone in this?

OP posts:
Brunettelady · 05/12/2009 22:30

Ummm, very to admit it, but I don't always like others children. Luckily most of my friends have nice children but there are some who I could do without seeing. I feel horrible! They are only children.

Original poster
CDDA86 · 05/12/2009 22:33

It does seem to be the sin that dare not speak its name doesn't it? I feel like I'm morally obliged to like all children just because I'm a mum, but quite a lot are just repellent and rude.

OP posts:
MillyR · 05/12/2009 22:35

Some are okay and some aren't. I don't think you are obliged to like all of them.

chegirlwithbellson · 05/12/2009 22:36

I love kids in theory. Its just when it comes down to it , well they can be a bit boring.

Obviously not the ones I work with - they are totally fab and interesting. (no I am not being sarky, I mean it).

LOL at repellent.

HuwEdwards · 05/12/2009 22:37

Odd. I really like my DC's mates, they're lovely.

MollieO · 05/12/2009 22:37

I wish there was somewhere they could go until they are grown up. I only had mine to look after me in my old age. I think it is a bit much to expect me to look after him until he is 18.

MavisEnderby · 05/12/2009 22:39

Most are lovely,but you get the occasional bad apple,just like in all walks of life,relatives,colleagues etc.

hatesponge · 05/12/2009 22:40

YANBU

I find most other people's children quite irritating. Not babies though....all babies, well all those 9 months or so & under, are lovely

JjandtheBean · 05/12/2009 22:40

what CDDA86 said!

Sagacious · 05/12/2009 22:41

God no

Most of them are a royal pain in the arse

My children are sweet on occasion but usually fall in the same catagory (above)

LadyPeterWimsey · 05/12/2009 22:42

I adore my own kids but find it very hard to like other peoples' children enough to engage with them and really mean it, rather than simply being kind and polite. It's a real effort.

I am starting to realise though that I am not a particularly empathetic person (DH jokes that I have 'compassion issues') and I wonder if that is connected; all the people I know who really enjoy being with children are generally warm and empathetic people.

YANBU.

LadyPeterWimsey · 05/12/2009 22:42

Agree about babies, though, hatesponge - most babies are yummy.

liath · 05/12/2009 22:42

I also suffer from the delusion that everyone else finds my children as wonderful and fascinating as I do. I keep having to remind myself that they probably think that they are snot-covered PITAs.

I distinctly remember almost not going to an NCT post-natal coffee morning when my PFB was very small becuase I thought it would be really unfair on the other mums - as soon as they laid eyes on dd they would suddenly realise how revoltingly ugly their own babies were in comparison. I didn't want to inflict that hurt onto them.

Oops.

dooneygirl · 05/12/2009 22:44

I don't find ALL children that aren't mine annoying. Just a majority. Some of them are quite lovely. And sometimes mine can be a pain, too. (But I still love them)

SnowyBoff · 05/12/2009 22:44

I think children are interesting and intriguing, but I don't always like them personally. Particularly when they are crying in supermarkets. And I am an educationalist!

Vallhala · 05/12/2009 22:44

FWIW you appear to be in posh good company. It's said that Princess Anne feels much the same.

Apart from my own I like a certain few but in general, no. We're all different and I'm just not a fond of children type of person.

Brunettelady · 05/12/2009 22:45

liath - made me laugh!!!

I also suffer from this delusion. But then people do tell me that my DS is lovely. But these are my friends anyway. Obviously he is lovely.

chegirlwithbellson · 05/12/2009 22:54

I used to think that if I left DD anywhere unattended for the merest second someone would be overcome with jealousy and steal her.

But I dont think I am delusional.

Monty100 · 05/12/2009 22:57

I keep mine indoors for the same reason Liath.

I'd hate to upset the others.

wigglybeezer · 05/12/2009 22:58

People are always suggesting that i run an art and craft class for children (as i have ability in that area), they are a bit shcoked when i say that i wouldn't enjoy it: i am able to be fairly patient with my own kids whom I love but get frustrated with other children due to liking to do thing "properly" (horrible old witch emoticon).

At least I don't get all offended when the teachers don't necessarily love my kids, I understand where they are coming from.

Seriously, there are only a few of my DCs' friends that i feel really pleased to see on my doorstep, a lot of my friends' kids (and yes, probably mine too) seem a bit spoiled by over attentive parenting, have too much of a sense of entitlement.

LadyPeterWimsey · 05/12/2009 22:58

I do remember feeling terribly sorry for all those mothers with babies less beautiful than DS1 - which was all mothers, naturally.

I just feel that the gorgeousness of my children throws the ordinariness of everyone else's into sharp relief; hence my slight distaste for children other than my own.

I am serious, btw.

booboo78 · 05/12/2009 23:00

hmmm sometimes i struggle to like my own, never mind other peoples.

I agree about babies though - and would even extend it to 1 year rather than 9 months.

McDreamyingofawhiteXmas · 05/12/2009 23:01

I am so pleased to meet others that feel the same as me. I have totalled them - there are 6 children I would happily look after aside form my own (Norma - your DD is one ) but that's it!

ronshar · 05/12/2009 23:04

My DD1 keeps going on at me to become a teacher or a teaching asistant.

I tell her it would be my idea of hell on earth and she gets really offended.
I have to try and explain that while I love her and her siblings completly and utterly I really dont like children at all.
Especially my friends children who are all spoilt and have iphones and unlimited access to the internet.

chegirlwithbellson · 05/12/2009 23:07

I like toddlers. Two years old is the peak of yumminess IMO.

Have no talent for teenagers whatsoever.

I have a lovely friend who absolutly takes delight in being with children. She is genuinely interested in them, what they do and what they say. I am a bit of her.
Kids, of course, love her.

I really, really enjoy working with kids. I work with children with disabilites but have no interest in working with children without ddisabilities or 'issues'. I would hate to work in a mainstream nursery. I dont think its a crap job or beneath me or anything like that - it just doesnt interest me.