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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

but I don't actually like children

96 replies

CDDA86 · 05/12/2009 22:28

Obviously I like my own, but I find everyone else's annoying, unpleasant and basically a pain in the neck. Am I alone in this?

OP posts:

mistletoemulledwinemoodlum · 06/12/2009 20:01

DH always says that children are like farts. Your own are hilarious but other peoples are a bit disgusting

Apols if someone has already posted that..

Takver · 06/12/2009 20:55

IMO babies are boring and sticky. Children over about 2 are generally fine.

Somewhere I have a fabulous article on the pros and cons of children, can't remember all of it but some of my favourite bits include:

Cons:

Children are generally unpleasantly sticky, even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections. I can only assume this is something to do with not smoking enough.

Children are rarely in a position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are exceptions to this rule, and they should be cultivated.

Pros:
Children sleep alone, or with small furry animals. This is an admirable habit, and should be taken note of.

figrollinthehay · 06/12/2009 21:16

Depends on the child. There was a horrid little boy in my DC's class last year and he was really unkind to other children and smug. I so wanted tear him off a strip.

Bonsoir · 08/12/2009 14:03

95% of the children at my DD's school are totally enchanting - she had a birthday party recently and they really were all adorable.

I think I do really like children . So does my DP - he goes to have lunch with DD so that he can go and chat with her and her friends in the park afterwards!

ProfYaffle · 08/12/2009 14:15

I'm not keen on children at all, never have been. I agree with those who say it's something of a taboo, it's kind of assumed that as a Mum you must love all kids.

Have to admit I'm getting better as dd1 gets older though, I'm finding 5/6 year olds more interesting than the 2/3 year olds were.

Bonsoir · 08/12/2009 14:20

Why do women have more than one if they discover they aren't that keen on children once they have one of their own?

IQuibbleThereforeIAm · 08/12/2009 14:35

I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in kids I am not related to.

Even DH's nephews I am completely indifferent to.

But my own DD is enchanting and I'm sure everyone who sees her feels the same way!

ProfYaffle · 08/12/2009 14:39

Bonsoir - my kids are fab, it's just the others I struggle with! tbh though it was a factor in why I took so long to actually start a family, it was a bit of a leap of faith in the end.

MarshaBrady · 08/12/2009 14:41

I like the polite ones.

And reception age is really great after the wilderness of age three.

Bonsoir · 08/12/2009 14:44

Is it age or school that makes the difference, MarshaBrady? French children go to école maternelle at three and I certainly noticed a huge difference for the better in my DD's behaviour round about her third birthday - a couple of months after she had started.

MadameDefarge · 08/12/2009 14:49

Takver, that is marvellous!

MarshaBrady · 08/12/2009 14:53

School for us. At three they were cute but it was still a bit hit and miss. At reception they are learning to interact with each other in a very polite way.

At three it was all colouring in, and filling in time. I probably thought they were nice then, but (thankfully) it is still getting more enjoyable.

OrmIrian · 09/12/2009 14:45

I never wanted kids. Didn't see the point TBH. Noisy, self-centred, messy, expensive. But I always made huge self-conscious efforts to be polite to children and talk to them - and they tend to like me as a result because I didn't talk down to them. When I had my own I realised how much more there was to the average child than noise and mess and found that it doesn't take much effort to get along with them.

PotPourri · 09/12/2009 14:47

Some children are not very likeable - not always their fault, but the behaviour is not likeable. There are lots of things that bug me about some children - laziness, whining, too rough, nasty, swearing etc.

Brave of you to admit this. But if it's true, then YANBU. Overall I do like children alot, but I know not everyone feels the same.

standandeliver · 09/12/2009 14:49

I love children.

I'm especially fond of toddlers - adore them. Even other people's.

My own kids are really well behaved - for other people. Fo me they're vile, squabbling and nagging all the time. But I'd rather have it that way than the other way round.

Kaloki · 09/12/2009 15:15

"Why do women have more than one if they discover they aren't that keen on children once they have one of their own?"

Because they like their own kids but not others? Otherwise.. no idea. Maybe they're just a glutton for punishment?

mrscrocoduck · 09/12/2009 15:33

YANBU - you probably love your husband, that doesn't mean you have to love everyone elses! I hope... ;-)

MadameDuBain · 09/12/2009 15:41

Oh YANBU, children can be intensely annoying. I think that's probably why nature makes us love them so much. I do know when DS is being annoying but I know him and know when he's tired/understand how to cheer him up, and of course adore him. When other people's DC are annoying I'm more likely to think "god your child is a brat" - probably what they think about mine!

On top of that though - we don't expect to like or get on with all adults, and the same goes for children. There are a few I really like - especially the nerdy, quirky or individualistic ones - and a lot of them I find boring or just not my cup of tea, just like adults.

Kaloki · 09/12/2009 15:46

It's interesting for me right now, we're TTC. Which I think my parter automatically took to mean I'd done a u-turn on kids, and suddenly loved all kids. He does, he's really good with kids! I however have no idea how to engage with them, and am quite happy like that. One of his friends has a kid which I really don't like, so I have to keep finding ways to get out of going to see said kid with DP. A pain when I know that my DP would bring the kid home with us if he could!

KERALA1 · 09/12/2009 20:12

As someone else has said also love the enthusiasm. Dd and her friends (2/3) can't contain their excitement at small treats, they literally jump up and down - I love that. One of the things I find most annoying in adults is apathy and negativity which I just dont see at all in these toddlers.

The only child I struggle with is a little friend of dds who has a malicious streak. I watch her carefully working out how to say the most hurtful thing she can think of to other children it makes me shudder. She is only 3. Her parents are both lovely and very good parents am hoping its just a phase. Spending time with them has made me question my assumption that if a child is challenging it is always the parents fault. Often but not always it seems.

Francagoestohollywood · 09/12/2009 20:26

Most children are likeable. Toddlers not so much. A bunch of ego maniacs they are

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