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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

but I don't actually like children

96 replies

CDDA86 · 05/12/2009 22:28

Obviously I like my own, but I find everyone else's annoying, unpleasant and basically a pain in the neck. Am I alone in this?

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 06/12/2009 11:22

I like most kids tbh.
Can't stand babies though, even my own are barely tolerable and only worht enduring in order to get a lovely child.

Yanbu at all.

ThumbleBells · 06/12/2009 11:23

I have never really liked children in the abstract, nor in general when they are at a distance - but have nearly always been won over by the ones I get to meet and hold and talk to. DS, of course, is fantastic - but his cousins are not all great. I don't really like one of them at all (but then I don't like her parents either). My Dad is even worse - he doesn't really like 2 of his DGDs, because they behave badly and are rude/shouty/whingey. I'm sure he loves them, as they are family - but he doesn't like them. Not that he'd tell my sibs that!!

Bumblingbovine · 06/12/2009 11:27

Actually I find most babies dull and have no interest in them. I used to love most children from toddlerhood up until puberty (never really got babies).

Since having ds I like children much less. Not really because I think ds is so wonderful (though I do) but because I have realised that the old saying "I like then because I can give them back" is 100% true for me. Ds uses up a lot of my 'children loving" part and I crave adult company nowadays.

I do quite like playing with lots of children though and getting them to run around and laugh a lot. So I do tend to be the one who gets down with the children to play with them. I just also really need my adult time now so sometimes I find myself just not feeling like the work that is sometimes involved in being with children.

On the whole though I would say I like most children unless they give me real cause to not like them. It usually takes consistent bad behaviour and being rude to me a lot for me to decide I don't like them.

I sometimes find the ruder ones quite funny though I never show it and it is a fine line between what I think of as "bshowing spirit" and "being rude" so I don't expect children to always get it right - a lot of adults don't. I save real dislike for adults though.

WoTmania · 06/12/2009 11:29

YANBU - I'm exactly the same.

thedollshouse · 06/12/2009 11:31

I loved children before I had any of my own and was very suspicious of those who said they didn't. Since having my own I find I have far less patience and tolerance with other peoples children. I love ds to bits and obviously find him amazing, I just don't enjoy spending time with other children whereas I once was the first person to offer to babysit.

QueenofDreams · 06/12/2009 11:36

I've never really been a 'child' person. I'm not. I love DS. I really adore him. But that's because he's MINE. When I see snotty, whinging, whining, rude, obnoxious kids, I have no patience for it at all.
My mum is suggesting I become a childminder. Honestly, I don't think the woman knows me at all sometimes. I mentioned it to DP, and his first response was 'I can't see you doing it'.

potatofactory · 06/12/2009 11:46

I have to work hard to force my face into an acceptable smile of approval around other people's children. My lip is just dying to curl up and my eyebrows are itching to frown in distaste. I'm not sure I get it right all the time - think I often just end up with 'glassy'

I've got to say, my dd can be most unlikeable (obviously I love her more than anything ever)

pigletmania · 06/12/2009 11:48

Nickytwotimes you sound like me, I like most children but babies incl my own no no no, dont do babies (i am expecting dc2). My dd was a crying baby, and i mean crying, she had colic and would cry and cry from 9am to 12pm it was so wearing and brought on the PND. My dd is now 2.9 and absolutely lovely, when she turend 1 that was it i started to bond more with her and it just got better and better the older she got. I am trying though desperately for her to greet people by saying hello, she is a shy type not outgoing but once she gets to know you well she is adorable.

darcymum · 06/12/2009 11:52

I have to admit I don't like children, never have. Apart from my own of course who are all lovely, why can't they all be like mine?

TinselianAstra · 06/12/2009 12:50

Babies are boring. Yoddlers are irritating. The closer they get to being people the more interest I have.

That said, I don't necessarily like grown-ups either.

TinselianAstra · 06/12/2009 12:51

Toddlers, obviously. What's a Yoddler? A yodelling toddler? That would be worse

BloodRedTulips · 06/12/2009 12:55

i have to admit i'm in the 'not terribly keen' camp

even my own are hard to get on with 90% of the time and thats with maternal affection tipping the balance.... other peoples kids are intensly irritating!

Petsville · 06/12/2009 13:28

I'm finding this thread very reassuring - we're TTC at the moment, largely to please DH who is desperate for kids (and generally likes other people's too). I like my godchildren (thank goodness) but children in general - nah. But I've always put that down to general anti-social tendencies on my part: there aren't vast numbers of people that I like, and I don't see why that should be any different just because the people are under three feet tall.

minxofmancunia · 06/12/2009 13:37

some of dhs work colleagues have asked him why I don't take up childminding....

He said I'd rather stick pins in my eyes....

Not really my thing

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 06/12/2009 18:03

OP is a troll no?

Kaloki · 06/12/2009 18:11

"Babies are boring. Yoddlers are irritating. The closer they get to being people the more interest I have.

That said, I don't necessarily like grown-ups either."

I'm exactly the same. It's really reassuring reading this thread.

I prefer teens to babies.

piratecat · 06/12/2009 18:19

i am not a kid friendly person, i find i am awkward and too gushing around them at times. which probably gets on their wick.

i never ever dreamed of having a brood, the first baby i held was my only dd.

I think i am intimidated by kids!!! Some people are just naturals. I have a good friend who is just brilliant with them, and i really admire her ability.

MaMight · 06/12/2009 18:20

I find children much like anyone else. Like some, dislike others. Happily I seem to like the majority of my friends' children.

Aranea · 06/12/2009 18:23

I can't be bothered with most kids. Some of them delight and enchant me, but mostly I can't muster the energy to think of things to say to them, and would prefer it if they would shut up and go away.

But then I probably feel like that about adults too.

I don't think I'm in a very Christmassy mood today.

fernie3 · 06/12/2009 19:21

I love my children, I have three. Recently my daughter started school and some of the other mothers there seem to think I am desperate to care for their chilren as well as my own. One in particular asks at least twice a week if I can watch the two youngest or even all three (all under 6). This would leave with with six children in my house ALL under 6 years old!.
not my idea of fun.

OrmIrian · 06/12/2009 19:25

I like children. I like their honesty and spontaneity. I like the fact that almost everything is exciting to a child. You can elicit a cheer by saying 'how about some hot chocolate?'.

All my favourite people retain something childlike about them. Preferably irreverence.

OrmIrian · 06/12/2009 19:27

If kids are really vile I'm afraid I usually look at the parents and see the reason. Sorry. I know that doesn't show much solidarity with other parents.

Mincepiedermama · 06/12/2009 19:31

Lovely post Orm:

"I like their honesty and spontaneity. I like the fact that almost everything is exciting to a child. You can elicit a cheer by saying 'how about some hot chocolate?'.

All my favourite people retain something childlike about them. Preferably irreverence".

choosyfloosy · 06/12/2009 19:45

I find most children intimidatingly amazing once they can move on their own, and talk. Babies are just weird, especially newborns (shudder).

But I'm not 'good with children'. I am very shrieky Edwardian about manners and usually manage to get other kids' backs up immediately, which is pointless. I hate, hate hate bad manners in children. I notice with gloom that my own child is much like the others when I am not there to shout at him.

rollonbedtime · 06/12/2009 19:54

You'd like my little girl, she's fantastic!

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