The term "Partner".

[marantha]

Am I being unreasonable to find the term "partner" intensely annoying when applied to those in a relationship? Particularly when they are actually married so it should be like, er, husband, wife or spouse instead?
Partner in what exactly? Ballroom dancing, bridge-playing. Isn't there something just a teensy-weeny bit smug about the term?

"smug"?? I thought it was teh marrieds who were accused of being smug.

when someone says 'My partner' (in their absence) I assume

they are gay and/ OR
they are in business together

A bit like Colin and Justin

I don't like it either but I'm not keen on any of the alternatives.

OK, all you anti "partner" people, please tell me exactly what I am supposed to call the man I have shared my life with for nearly 30 years? Come up with a better term and I will happily use it.

Fiance/e is awful though

Would you really still "assume

they are gay and/ OR
they are in business together" that these days? Really? It would never occur to you at all that they are not either of your 2 options?

"Appendage"

Yes that sounds good... Hi, I'm Chandra and (insert name) here, is my appendage.

Does he has to be with you 100% 24/7 for the term to be appropiate?

I'm used to it.

Every time I went into hospital to have the children, DH was catergorically either 'your partner' or even 'your man'.

I was the only married person in our room last time.

Hmmm. Didn't think about that, Chandra.

Think I'll call mine 'Dave' instead.

I use it to describe my father's girlfriend. I use partner to attempt to convey the fact that they've been together a long time (15 + years, longer than my parents were together) and so has earned (for lack of a better word) the status that would come with that. whatever that is.

yanbu partner is only good if you mean partner in business dancing bridge otherwise terr terr naff
I think people should say lover whilst looking the other person directly in the eye

what on earth is wrong with fiance/e???

he's not my boyfriend, he asked me to marry him but we're not married yet... so what the hell am I supposed to call him?

Call him Dave

I think it may catch on.

just to say, I have a partner. Oh dear. I feel awful even saying it the way the comments have flowed.

I have been married and divorced. To me he is not my husband and I am getting a bit old to call him my boyfriend. Partner suits me and him fine. God knows what he calls me! ha ha.

I know it's totally unjustified but I've never liked the word. I'm a partner/in a partnership for 18 years with no intention or desire to marry. I always struggle to find an appropriate word when it's not appropriate to use his name (even then I was about to write 'my other half' even though he's most certainly not that..) I think I must have used 'boyfriend' for the first few years or probably until I became pregnant for the first time. Now I have two kids, a mortgage and a more than passing interest in anti-wrinkle products, boyfriend sounds a tad coy. I also cringe when people use the word 'lover' as it either conjures generally unwelcome mental images and/or makes me wonder what the person is really trying to say about themselves and their relationship.

lover sounds so cheesy trying too hard

What term could plausibly be used instead of partner on forms or when speaking to a stranger?

I don't think wedding rings are a reliable guide as many people still wear their ring once their spouse is dead.

I cannot think of any alternative term that can be used without making potentially incorrect assumptions about the marital status or sexual orientation of the individual.

unmarried people have rings too

Well,am not married.Am old.Boyfriend sounds too twee.Been tpgether 15 years.What should I call him?Partner,other half,him inddors?Am confused!

'partner' makes me want to get out a rice flail and do some serious damage to offender.

Is "him indoors" better ,then Moondog

but if unmarried it is correct.boyfriend too twee over age 17

Urgh, fiance/e sounds so wet. He is still your boyfriend/partner if you're not married.

Those suggesting you call him Dave...do you mean as in, 'My Dave' instead of 'My husband' or whatever? So everyone in the office will have a Dave? What about my friend whose bloke really is called Dave?