The term "Partner".

[marantha]

Am I being unreasonable to find the term "partner" intensely annoying when applied to those in a relationship? Particularly when they are actually married so it should be like, er, husband, wife or spouse instead?
Partner in what exactly? Ballroom dancing, bridge-playing. Isn't there something just a teensy-weeny bit smug about the term?

I suppose that terms change according to the times- 35 years ago, people cohabiting outside of marriage were "Living in sin". As it has become socially acceptable to live together outside of marriage, I guess that a more pleasant term has to be found and "partner" fits the bill.

RainRainGoAway, you really can't win on this issue (I suppose if you're face-to-face with someone you could always have a quick glance at their ring finger to determine marital status- I don't see how a reasonable person could object to "spouse" or "husband" and "wife" if ACTUALLY married). Call them "partner" if married and some people get in a strop -personally, I think marriage is seen by some as more serious than cohabitation and they get upset if you "downgrade" their relationship by suggesting they are merely cohabiting (in THEIR eyes, not my personal opinion).

In the grand scheme of things, does it really mattter?

It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but does anything?
It's just one of those examples of a word that has been adopted by society to have a different meaning as it (soceity) changes, that's all.

BOF see my earlier post on this thread, i got there before you

busybeingmum, I must say that IS unusual. I pass no judgement on it at all, but, I think you'll agree that it is unusual to not wear a ring when married.

Lol @ Gramercy
a colleague in my (V PC) office once referred to X and his partner Y...I knew X and Y had been seeing each other about a month. It made me laugh a bit as he was obviously trying to be PC but sorry, she wasn't his partner then, and anyone who describes themselves as partners after 5 minutes is a wally.

OP, YABU. Partner is a perfectly servicable word that means more than BF/GF and the same as spouse, but not married. Many gay couples use it even after civil partnerships as people do bat eyelids at a man talking about his husband (wrongly, but they do) and I have never described DH as my 'spouse' - that's just daft.

Another vote for 'partner' as the most suitable and all-encompassing term.

'Partner' only acceptable when prefixed with 'Howdy' in my book.

I don't mind partner. After 12 years and two kids, 'boyfriend' seems to 'young' for me. Partner seems more long term and with an intention of having a future together planned.

I'm not married to my partner who is the father of my daughter and the man I intend to spend the rest of our lives with. So what exactly am I supposed to call him? My boyfriend?

yes

I prefer lover (amant) but somehow once you have a child and are shacked up together that doesn't sound quite right...

It's better than 'other half'

I am DPs 'wife-type-thing' and he's 'bloke'.
Works for us
Oh and I do wear a 'just-because-we're -not-getting-married-doesn't-mean-I-can't-have-a-ring' ring.
And I keep meaning to buy him one too...

partner is a permissible term,oft used widely understood. i like it

that or the current MrScottishMummy

people only say "lover" in dramatic French cinema

Nothing wrong with the term at all YABU, what else do you call couples that are not married then! I hate the term when i am married for my dh to be referred to as partner, especially in those PC government forms, i just crossed out the word partner and put husband.

YABU - am not married to MrJaneite, so can't call him husband and boyfriend sounds ludicrous after so many years together. I really don't understand why it sounds 'smug' at all.

I don't mind it at all.
I refer to dh as my husband, but before that he was my partner.
I did find it a bit 15 years ago, but it is in such common usage now that Ifind it totally unobjectionable.
Let's face it, 'boyfriend' sounds ludicrous in anyone over 25.