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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if DS gets money for his birthday, he should be able to spend it on what he wants?

32 replies

Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 17:41

DS has been given a lot of money for his birthday fron various family and friends. He wants to buy a PSP+game that is on special offer -about £160. DH does not want him to buy it because the PSP is outdated and apparently a new game system is about to be launched to compete with the Wii.
I feel that it is his money to spend on what he wants (within reason - for instance we would not let him buy his own TV to have in his room. But that would affect the whole family).
So AIBU to want to let him buy the PSP even tho it may not be the 'best' thing to spend his money on?

OP posts:
TillyMintSpy · 28/11/2009 17:43

I agree, it's up to him.

But your DH can advise him - if he chooses not to take his dad's advice, then that's his choice, isn't it?

LisaD1 · 28/11/2009 17:43

I think you're right to allow your son to choose whcih game console he wants, sound like you hubby just wants the one he would prefer, they're such big boys aren't they!

PersonalClown · 28/11/2009 17:43

YANBU!
I usually get money as my birthday is just after Xmas and I'm awkaward enough to buy for then!!

My mum told me off for buying myself an iPod 3 years ago! Told me I should have a new carpet for the house of something!

Let him buy what he wants!! It's his money.

TheCrackFox · 28/11/2009 17:49

YANBU.

However, maybe DH could have a chat with DS about the new system and leave it up to him to decide?

Original poster
Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 17:49

Yes - DH isn't just advising him, he won't let him buy it! and understanderbly DS thinks that's unfair.
When I told him it was just his opinion that the new technology would be a better thing for DS to spend his money on, he said no, it's a fact. And he's 'proved' it by showing me on the internet.
But this thing may not be launched for years

OP posts:
Original poster
Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 17:51

He has had a chat with him, showed him the new thing (which does look fantastic) and DS still wants to buy the PSP

OP posts:
diddl · 28/11/2009 17:52

He should be allowed to get what he wants.

But often when these things are updated, games for the old ones are hard to get hold of.

purpleturtle · 28/11/2009 17:53

There's the advantage with having the older thing, that games will become cheaper, and more available 2nd hand - that's probably worth factoring in to the equation.

purpleturtle · 28/11/2009 17:54

x post. And directly contradictory.

PrincessToadstool · 28/11/2009 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 17:57

I actually agree with DH but I think when it comes to money, they should be allowed to make mistakes, otherwise how do they learn to make the right decisions later on?

OP posts:
purpleturtle · 28/11/2009 17:58

(Thanks PT )

It's quite a big 'mistake' though, isn't it?

purpleturtle · 28/11/2009 17:59

And does that mean that I should be allowing my ds to spend his own money on a pile of crap pick-n-mix sweetie shop toy that he's seen in a catalogue?

BarnMummy · 28/11/2009 18:02

How old is your DS? How much advice he would need (or indeed accept) about spending his money depends on whether he is old enough to understand the points that purple turtle and diddl make and weigh up their pros and cons.

TillyMintSpy · 28/11/2009 18:02

How old is he, timetraveller?

DS, I mean, not your DH

PrincessToadstool · 28/11/2009 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 18:03

I think it may depend on the age of the child. DS is 12. When they were younger I didn't give them all the money family sent as it seemed to much. I'd buy things for them instead.
This is the first time he's had so much money, and yes it is a lot.

OP posts:
TillyMintSpy · 28/11/2009 18:13

12 is definitely old enough to decide how to spend his birthday money! And to listen to his dad and decide whether he wants to take his advice!

Is your DH hoping to play with the console your DH wants him to buy

Anyway, if the console is not likely to be available for months or more, your DH is being very unreasonable to make him wait.

thesecondcoming · 28/11/2009 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spicemonster · 28/11/2009 18:26

But if there is no release day for this new fabulous thing then what's your DS supposed to do? Not buy anything for ages? Not much of a birthday present then is it?

And besides, when new consoles come out, then it takes a while for any decent games to be released so your DS could be looking at 2 years. Also - then he would presumably have to buy the console and the game.

YANBU and neither is your DS!

groundhogs · 28/11/2009 18:45

hate, hate, hate computer games. pathetic waste of money and brain cells.

Original poster
Timetraveller · 28/11/2009 18:49

The new thing is called Natal and you dont need any remote controls to play the games. A camera films you as you play so you see your movements on the screen.
But as you say Spicemonster there is no release date yet so DS isn't really interested. And it will probably be too expensive anyway.
What he is interested in is something he has the money for and can buy now.

OP posts:
edam · 28/11/2009 18:56

So, do you think dh wants this new thingummybob and thinks he can use ds's money? If not, why is dh so bothered?

You are right, it is ds's money, and it's ridiculous to say 'no, there's some new system coming out at some unspecified date, you must wait for that'.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 28/11/2009 18:58

Let him buy it. Explain to DH that DS no longer 5 and encourage him to explore all the options with DH / DS and you. Then DS to make up his own mind and have some assistance with the purchase if necessary. Am sure DH will be playing with it before too long!

ViveLeCliche · 28/11/2009 19:08

UK release date for Natal is tipped to be November 2010 (OH is eagerly awaiting this - as if a PS3 and a Wii isn't enough - though have to confess I do enjoy the odd game myself - am not too sure I have so many brain cells left to be that concerned about!) so I would say YANBU on three counts:

(1) DS's money to spend as he wishes (even contrary to 'advice')
(2) A whole year is too long to wait for a birthday present
(3) Presumably DS's birthday will come around again in time for Nov 2010 release so if in the meantime he gets excited about Natal it might be something he can save towards for then

Ooh and (4) a PSP is portable and Natal (as far as I can see) is not - is more a mind-controlled Wii so very stationary. DS will be able to take his PSP on car journeys/into school etc if allowed.