to be upset about what happened at doctors today?

[flabbyapronbelly]

Sorry as this will be long, but not sure what to do regarding what happened to me today at my doctor's.
Was going to have the coil fitted having asked for it over 3 months ago at my DS 8 week check.
Following this had another meeting with Dr, an appointment with nurse for swabs and then today it was actually being fitted.
So arrived on time, with my DS and DD who is 3.7. Nurse started muttering that she didn't think that doc could do it as had dd with me and started getting rather hostile. I said I didn't realise and mentioned that whilst preg she had been with me when had stretch and sweep and midwife had just kept her head end. She then said she would go and check with dr but didn't think she would do it. I said I was sorry but didn't realise as hadn't been told. She then said most people knew not to bring child again in a hostile way. I mentioned I didn't realise it was quite such a procedure. She told me to go and wait outside in waiting room. I sat near the reception. A couple of minutes later she came back, didn't look at me and went up to receptionist and said in a very eyebrows raised way " you don't mind looking after TWO children as she's having her COIL fitted". I was lipreading and could hear what she was saying. Anyway, cue dd shortly after being taken off to find something to play with, buggy parked in with receptionist. Went to the procedures room and I mentioned I didn't appreciate her tone and that she told the recptionist and she denied it. I also said that she doesn't know my situation and that it is not easy to find childcare. I was getting quite upset by this point, but just getting teary really.
Now I've written all this down it doesn't sound too awful, but at the time, her tone and the way the nurse went about it made me really embarassed.
Now I want to put it to MN. Was i BU to take dd with me? In the lead up to the appt was not mentioned could not bring children. Or am I BU and completely thick to have not even thought about dd being with me as had honestly not crossed my mind. Should I make a complaint about the nurse for amongst other things breaching confidentiality even though she denied it straight afterwards? Tell me good people!

NA nope, it was the silly criteria they ahve here that a non diagnosed child (ds3 wasn't then, though clearly ASD doesnt only appear at themoment of dx!) or a child with AS (as ds1 is) can't qualify for any form of respite.

We ended up paying for a doula, and could only do that ebcuase someone on MN kindly cut their rates for us.otherwise had ds4 arrived at a time dh was at work I would ahve been unable to leave them. Even in am emergency- absoplutely nobodyvwithin 1hrs drive,and the delivery took 35 minutes- thankfully on DH's booked day off.

I had a Mirena coil fitted on an evening at family planning service. It was a bit sore for 10 min or so, then 5 years of light, infrequent pain free periods and no contraceptive worries.
Would never have occurred to me to take my kids along. Have never taken them to any family planning appointments or smears.
I think trying to have a smear taken or coil fitted whilst hoping doc/ nurse doesn't trip over your sprog or sprog isn't exploring the bins etc just sounds a bit insane.
OK if sleeping baby in buggy.

ps - loobylu3 I personally believe that GP's are paid enough under their current contract on a per capita level, without the need for extra incentive payments. Clearly you believe that they are underpaid and require more for each medical service. Well, each to their own opinion. But surely you would agree that they should inform the patient of any extra payments that they are receiving for a particular service?

bellissima- I think you will find that GPs are paid for other contraceptive services too eg implanon fittings under the minor surgery section of the new contract. They are also paid extra for large numbers of other services, unrelated to contraception and in addition to per capita payments.
If you feel that GPs are paid too much and if you felt pressurised into having a coil fitted, those are entirely separate issues and ones that are personal to you and have little relevance to this thread.
I never said that GPs were under paid. I simply wrote that they are not a child minding service but a medical service as a response to your previous post suggesting that they shouldn't mind looking after the children during a coil fitting as they received such a large fee!
No, I don't think GPs should spend their time explaining to patients which services they receive additional or enhanced service payments for. In the case of contraception (as one example), I would prefer to see them provide relevant CLINICAL information on the available options and allow the patient to make an informed choice.

I have had absolutely no choice but to take my kids into several appointments similar (smears/swabs etc).

Not everyone has childcare on tap.

I am a military wife. It seems every sodding time we are posted I am due a smear. Roll on the obligatory course OH has to as soon as we arrive somewhere new followed swiftley by a 7 month deployment and I know no one in a new place - I am not gonna wait 7 to 10 months to get my smear. I rarely know anyone to look after my kids in the first few months - so they always come with me.

Thankfully at 8 and 11 now - they sit in the waiting room with their Nintendo DS's. But when they were small they came in. This was civvie Drs as well as militray surgeries - I have NEVER been sneared at or been told its not acceptable. I have also NEVER been turned down because my kids are with me!

I think the nurse was bloody rude! It may not be the ideal but to behave how she did was unreasonable and unprofessional IMO!

You have every right to be treated with respect when you go to any clinic or surgery. The staff are doing their job wrong of they make you feel like crying.

YES!!! Make a formal complaint! I would.

yanbu at all.

i think it depends who you get sometimes - ds who is 8 went with me for swabs to be taken for my coil. pulled the curtain round and told him to be thankful he's a boy.

however my gp refused to examine me as i had dd with me who owuld have been about 2 at the time - wouldnt have minded but it was my head - dont get what was innapropriate for her to see!!

GPs no longer really have a per capita payment since the contract was renegotiated in the 90s. Most of a GPs pay is bound up in incentives. A GP practice that only got per capita payments would fold. All chronic disease management is incentive based eg diabetics, asthmatics, angina. If a GP did nothing on this as well as being a poor GP they couldn't pay their staff and building costs.
Pre the new contract a GP could do what they liked and rely on per capita payments, now they have to do the stuff they get paid for. Having said that few GPs would encourage someone to have a coil just to get the payment, although the UK governments are keen on long term contraception like coils and are encouraging GPs to use it more to try and reduce the abortion and teenage oregnancy rates.

Nevertheless the incentive payment includes an element for 'counselling' (in the case of coils). And it is clear that the OP did not receive any counselling about the nature of insertion. On that grounds she has cause for complaint.

Okay, accept that my own particular 'coil pushing victim' experience belongs on another thread. But I maintain that if GPs receive incentive payments for particular services these should, in the interests of transparency, be made clear to patients being offered them. How many people know they get an extra payment for coils - and why are you so keen that this shouldn't be disclosed to the recipient? Personally prefer the continental system where I pay the ob-gynae up front (and get reimbursed from insurance) and (in my experience) get less biased advice and not just the latest NHS policy. Certainly abroad I have have never been pressurised to accept a pill prescription on the grounds that 'it's harmless' and sign the form saying I got contraceptive advice when I had assured the doc my life was so sad I had no need! (Again, the kind of thing that used to happen here when they got money for that particular form) - okay maybe I've just come across greedy docs, and again, for another thread, but there should be more safeguards for patients.

GPs also get paid for weighing people, asking if they smoke, checking cholesterol levels in certain people, prescribing particular drugs. Most consultations a GP does will involve some sort of incentive payment. That's the way modern general practice works.
Ordinary contraceptive advice and prescribing the pill also gets a fee.
The reason the fee for inserting a coil is one for a minor operation is because it is a minor operation requiring training, instruments and more time. I agree that proper counselling should be given to all having any form of contraceptive advice.

It was a GP friend who told me years ago that the reason I was asked to sign the contraceptive advice form (when I had no need -no action alas ) was because the doc got a fee. So when more recently the coil was being firmly pushed in my direction I came home and looked it up - and lo and behold. Frankly I found it rather depressing. Look, I'm sure that MN docs act in the best interests of their patients - it's just that there are plenty of docs out there whose advise can be skewed a bit - either by pharmaceutical companies (which I'm sure everyone on here would say is appalling) but also, and this is less well known, by incentive payments. And I feel strongly that the latter should be more transparent.

But, to get back to the OP - write a letter complaining that your patient confidentiality was breached and also that you did not receive any counselling about the insertion of the coil. copy to PCT.