Christmas presents from in laws!

[ifnotwhynot]

AIBU to be annoyed that my MIL has sent a Christmas parcel to my DKs without asking what they would like? We don't see them very often, due to distance and, because they are going away for Christmas, the parcel has arrived early. I am fairly sure that they have sent clothes and the children now like to choose their own. DS is a teenager and my DD does not need new clothes. Really! I am grateful that they have thought of the children and know there are plenty out there that get no presents but it just seems such a WASTE to buy things that are not appropriate. We talk to them a few times a week so why couldn't they ask like they usually do, or, better still, take them shopping when we see them after Christmas?

YABU. They thought of your dcs and sent presents early.

And plus the presents are for your dcs not you, doesn't matter if you like them or not. (Well as long as they're not dangerously inappropriate)

YABU

YABVU

YABVU

YABVU.

be grateful they got anything, my ils dont even send dd a bloody card - yabu!

YABVU and ungrateful. They were thoughtful to send something and thoughtful enough to send it early as they know they are away over Christmas. Read your post again and rethink!

YANBU to think that it is a waste of money. If they were gong to spend money on the kids anyway they should have asked, especially when we're talking about opinionated teenagers.

I always think that money on unwanted gifts should have been spent on charity

YANBU - my PILs just think they know best and send the most dreadful stuff. It all ususally ends up in the charity shop. I really, really hate the waste of that much money spent on crap that just got bought for the sake of it. They never ask about ideas, but I have phoned every year and tried to steer them in the right direction - pointless waste of the phone calls - my poor DD (14) gets a HUGE bag of useless crap every year, including (last year) a pair of sparkly oriental-type embroidered slippers with dangly cerise bobbles on them that were so dangly they prevented any foot going in them. They were also 2 sizes too small. The other stuff was even worse.
She also gets a really cheap and nasty vanity case - every year. How many can any teen use?
TBH I am tempted to just pack it all back up - send it back to them and ask for the receipts. I do realise that this would be rude, but equally, just ignoring ideas about what she wants and just continuing to send this trash is also rude and arrogant.
I welcome any thoughts.

Not your place to decide if the present giver has wasted their money - they spent time and money choosing something and you haven't even opened the present yet, so it's all speculation! Hope you take back your uncharitable thoughts if your dcs in fact love what the ILs have given them!

The presents will, indeed, probably end up in the charity shop. I am afraid that if they send things that are totally unsuitable and do not fit then they either languish around the house or get to benefit someone else. Unfortunately, they always buy from local markets or outlet stores, so there is not even a chance of exchanging things!I am not ungrateful, I said that in my op but I just think that it is better to spend money wisely. I know that it is the thought that counts, and all that, but the fact is that they don't seem to have thought very hard.

snort

yabu

YABU and ungrateful. If they don't visit much they will never know if the stuff has gone to charity shop, so just say thank you, be polite and if its really unwanted pass it on to charity. Someone will buy it and find a use for it, so its not as if they have thrown their money in the bin, the item will benefit somebody

YABVU

my ILs do this every year.

just charity shop it and send them a lovely thank you note.

mummygirl - I agree.
If my DD ever liked any of the stuff that her GPs had bought her, I would take it all back and be glad for her. Unfortunately, she is always disappointed. She herself says it is such a waste of money.

i agree with octopusinabox YABU you should be grateful and the kids should write a thankyou letter after christmas.They probably dont want to take them shopping in case they ask for stuff out of their budget and will feel awful having to say so. also christmas is about giving a present i dont understand this now where kids are given money .

YABU and ungrateful. You could tactfully suggest something like gift cards so that they can buy something that they like. My BIL and his wife kept buying me smellies (really upmarket ones)but as i have severe Eczema cannot use it, i tactfully dropped it in conversation when discussing related topics with BIL and last year got some lovely jewllery.

YABVVU.

YABU they were very kind to send them something

You;re not being that unreasonable. It's such a waste of money.

But you just have to go through the motions of thanking them and giving the clothese away. Someone somewhere will benefit

YANBU - I hate waste and have a mil who is a gift buying problem. This year we have a bloody old fashioned, impractical, unsafe (lethal hinges) desk for DD (age 4) in the garage (for xmas) from the in-laws. We don't even have room for it. Why don't they just ask? What makes it worse is that we paid for their ferry ticket over here, they insisted on bringing the car so they could fetch the damn desk. It cost us £150 extra for them to fetch the car. The fucking desk wouldn't fetch £15 on Ebay (I may need an AIBU thread of my own...)

In this day and age, why waste money and resources like this.

You are not b u. I agree it seems ungrateful but having been in the position myself ( on the receiving end) I think it's a waste of the present givers money.

However I take issue with relatives who issue me with a specific list items as presents as I like to buy things I think the person would like but i always prefer to get gifts that will be appreciated and enjoyed, i would be mortified if I thought my gifts would be straight down the charity shops.