to consider leaving 5m DD in hotel room witgh monitor while we go to DH's work Xmas meal in the hotel?

[sassyhopper32]

As the thread title says, my DH's work is having a Xmas meal in a couple of weeks at a nearby hotel. The only way that we could both go would be to book room overnight and have DD in the room and take monitor. I am going to find out from the hotel exactly where the meal will be so that we can specify room as close by as possible and we would also check on her periodically as well as using the monitor. They don't have a baby listening service or babysitters etc.

We don't have any family nearby who could babysit and the only people we know locally will all be at the same function. We haven't been out together without DD since her birth and I haven't been out at night at all. Is it totally a no-no to even consider this? DH has no reservations, but I think it's maybe different for blokes.....and one of his friends and wife have also said that they're doing same thing, which doesn't make it wrong or right IMO.

Thanks Curiousmama!!

Is there any way to update thread so that people see that?? Am afraid to go to bed now in case there are loads more posts appearing telling me not to do it....

I don't think it is wrong.

Although I can't imagine doing what they did, I think the McCanns were very very unlucky.

I wouldn't do it, because I wouldn't enjoy it. I would be up and down the stairs/lift like a jack rabitt's willy all night worrying she would be crying. Where's the fun in that?

sassyhopper - Curiousmama beat me to it as I was also going to say you need a big placard to let people know you've decided against - or at least ask them to READ THE WHOLE THREAD BEFORE POSTING!!!!

Oh don't be silly, everyone. It's no more risky than leaving a baby asleep upstairs while you're in the kitchen at home. Or being heavily asleep in the same room, for that matter.

I'm sure everyone on here will take their child in a car tomorrow. Now that's a REAL risk!

just ignore the thread now sassy. I've been mega flames once on AIBU and just left it until it disappeared

I have left dc asleep in hotel rooms/tents/own bed whilst having glass of wine in neighbour's garden.

I think it's pretty low-risk.

However, if the hotel situation arose again for us (unlikely for the foreseeable - after two angelic sleepers we now have dd2, AKA Duracell Bunny) - I'd book www.sitters.co.uk.

About £6ph last time I used them, & worth it for the peace of mind of not constantly staring at a baby monitor, wondering if your night was going to be curtailled any second...

We went to Sweeden when our DD1 was 8 months old and once she was asleep in the room, we went upstairs (3 floors) to the hotel bar for a drink and every 15 mins one of us would go down to the room and check on her.
We really had no other way to do it as the hotel lobby was 5 floors down and we did not fancy going to bed at 8pm!
We could not watch the TV in the room as it was above the cot and would have woken her.
As long as you are careful and if you have the monitor that is even better.
You could be at home with a monitor and something could happen.
What do you think they used to do years ago?
Would make her hair curl!

er, remember Madeleine McCann?

If it were me I would stay at home and let DH go alone.

I couldn't do it.

We've done it in the past, but it was a small bed and breakfast type of hotel. Not sure I'd be happy doing it in a larger building.

I have also used sitters.co.uk. They are fab and well worth the money.

sassy, where exactly do you live? Where is the function?

If the example of Madeline McCann stops people leaving their children in locked hotel rooms with a monitor to go downstairs (despite the fact that the Mc Cann's left their children in an unlocked room with no monitor to go to the next block) why doesn't the death of a child in a car crash stop people taking their children in cars?

People's perception of risk is just bonkers. I'm sorry to say it - just bonkers.

At DH's works Xmas party a couple of years ago there was a fire scare and security wouldn't let one of the couples back upstairs to their room. Their baby was in the room, the fire alarms were going and they could hear the baby screaming on the monitor, the father had to physically fight his way to their child.

There was no fire and no harm done, but the couple in question had a terrifying time and what if there had been a fire?

Last year I went with DH and stayed in the room with DD, sounds awful, but was bliss - an evening of junk TV, reading and room service. A swim in the morning and a hotel breakfast - I'm easily pleased. DH's Xmas parties are crap, we're currently negotiating this years

Totally agree about the perception of risk being bonkers.

I'm amazed at how many posters recommend entrusting a child to a complete stranger for the night (hotel or agency babysitter). I'm sure sitters would have been more than happy to have accepted Vanessa George onto their books.

Sassy, get a sitter from sitters.co.uk, they really are great and you will have a good night, peace of mind and no monitor! I wouldn't leave a baby alone in a hotel room. I was in a hotel that caught fire a couple of years ago, and it was a horrendous experience (although we all got out safely)...I think statistically hotels do catch fire more often than other places and it would just be too worrying for me to be able to enjoy myself. I know the risk is small, but how much nicer to have your baby in her own bed with a lovely sitter instead.

Far more risks being in a hotel room than upstairs in your house imo. Fire risk in hotels for instance. Lots of guests around whom you don't know anything about, staff with access to rooms. Noise as well, not been able to hear the monitor.

The OP has now decided not to do it, she was just asking for opinions as others were prepared to do so with their children.

I have read the thread and I know you have decided against it, but just wanted to say, have done it, would do it again, last time I looked child still alive.

As someone else very wisely said, one of the most dangerous things i can do with my child is put her in a car. Yet most of you will do this every day without a second thought.

Being worried and concerned about your child is one thing, and a fine and noble thing. But being deliberately ignorant about risks and consequences is something else.

too little to leave in my opinion.

OMG i cant believe you'r actually considering this, listen to what every1 else says, its a VERY bad idea, what if the baby monitor doesn't work what would you do then? what if the musics too loud and you dont hear the monitor. personally i couldn't

Regularly done it with both DS from around 5M with each. You know your own child and if room close to where you are and you go up and check regularly, fine. A one off disaster could happen in everyday life, some people chose to deal with risk in different ways.

It's very much up to you OP, what does your gut instinct say to you? Not judging one way or the other at all, but I couldn't have done it.

From sassyhopper at 20:49:40

"I'm back.

Loads more replies, thanks. Well, to update you - told DH that I wasn't going to do it, he's fine and totally understands and so that's the end of it. Please no more flamings....

In answer to some points:

• no it wasn't the be all and end all to go but would have been nice if reasonable, but it isn't, so it's not happening.

• of course we wouldn't want to put our precious DD at risk, my gut feeing was that it wasn't OK.

• the lack of babysitter isn't because of cost, it's because we don't know any in the area, and because we only moved here because of DH's job - I used to commute to London, making it very difficult to get to know local people (we live in the West Midlands, so was a looong journey each day). Virtually everyone we know is at DH's work, apart from a few mums I know casually, but not well enough yet to ask if they'll babysit.

Anyway, to sum up, we're not doing it, my DD isn't at risk, thanks, and I still think I'm an OK mum.

I really appreciate all the responses."

Sassyhopper, I'm in Rugby, I'll babysit for you.

Which hotel are you going to?

CitizenPrecious at 19.26

Mmm thank you! Nice to be here.