Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

Original poster

to consider leaving 5m DD in hotel room witgh monitor while we go to DH's work Xmas meal in the hotel?

323 replies

sassyhopper32 · 25/11/2009 15:31

As the thread title says, my DH's work is having a Xmas meal in a couple of weeks at a nearby hotel. The only way that we could both go would be to book room overnight and have DD in the room and take monitor. I am going to find out from the hotel exactly where the meal will be so that we can specify room as close by as possible and we would also check on her periodically as well as using the monitor. They don't have a baby listening service or babysitters etc.

We don't have any family nearby who could babysit and the only people we know locally will all be at the same function. We haven't been out together without DD since her birth and I haven't been out at night at all. Is it totally a no-no to even consider this? DH has no reservations, but I think it's maybe different for blokes.....and one of his friends and wife have also said that they're doing same thing, which doesn't make it wrong or right IMO.

OP posts:

Original poster

sassyhopper32 · 25/11/2009 15:47

TheUsefulSuspect - no it's not a wind-up, just an honest question.

Thanks for all the (very sensible) replies. I think I have to speak to the DH.....re: my reservations.....

OP posts:

lynniep · 25/11/2009 15:47

I agree with the 'no's'. You won't hear the baby. You wont have a good time because you'll be straining to hear her and trotting off every 5 minutes to check her.

The only time I've done this was for a wediing and we basically had a mini party in the hotel room - ther were always 2 or 3 of in there - but then that was a buffet! and I didn' really get to hang out with DH as one of us was always out front.

We had the monitor on too - but the reception was terrible although its a good monitor normally - you can't assume it'll work.

posieparker · 25/11/2009 15:49

My sister got married when my ds was this age and we just took him and left early.

Alternatively you could call your local nursery/day care as the staff are always looking for extra work and they're all CRB checked.

TamTam29 · 25/11/2009 15:50

NO!

Cant you stay in this time & you go out with some friends another time??? I find even my own work do's a bore, especially if you are having a sit down meal. My DH has his, this weekend but I couldnt think of anything worse to be honest so I am off out with my antenatal Mums next weekend! (my first night out too)

My Littlest man is also 5 months & I wouldnt either! Sorry but Madeline McCann is enough of a deterent for me!

ChickandDuck · 25/11/2009 15:51

YABU... I wouldn't even consider it.

Jujubean77 · 25/11/2009 15:51

the worry of choking, puking, rolling onto tummy I would be a nervous wreck. Don't do it - Get a babysitter and at least enjoy the evening out!

claireybepositive · 25/11/2009 15:51

Hmm
I did at a friends wedding, dd was 10 months.

Friend had hired out whole hotel so all guests were wedding guests which irrationally made me feel better about it.

They put us in the closest room to the venue so we were literally 30 seconds away, certainly as close as I am when she's upstairs and I'm downstairs at home.

Despite all that I found it impossible to relax and danced with the baby monitor against my ear etc. I also felt the need to go and check on her every 30 mins or more and didn't really enjoy the party.

diddl · 25/11/2009 15:52

I wouldn´t.

I´d rather not go & get a babysitter another time & have a night out with just husband.

hf128219 · 25/11/2009 15:52

Just register with www.sitters.co.uk

They have registered baby sitters all over the country - and they go to hotels.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 25/11/2009 15:54

YABVU - just don't do it. What if something happened! It's not the same as being downstairs at home and listening to her on the monitor.

and 5mo? I didn't even leave DS for an evening until he was 7mo.

I don't think you should take her in a sling either, it's a Christmas party fgs.

Just don't go... and organise baby sitters for future events when she's older.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 25/11/2009 15:54

Actually I disagree with most of the replies to date. You know your own child best. If she is the sort of baby you can put down in a strange cot in a strange room and be confident she will sleep, then your precautions all sound very sensible. And if you have a monitor with lights showing if there is noise then you will be able to see if she is making a noise. And you can check her regularly. If she is in a locked room and asleep I don't think she can come to much harm. The challenge is much harder when they are older and can climb out of the cot so make the most of her being only 5 months old.

But realistically, will this be fun for you? Huge risk you do all that and she won't settle and you will spend the evening in the hotel room and not get to enjoy the party after all that effort.

A 5 month old baby isnt much of a distraction so couldnt you just bring her to the party? She can sleep in her car seat under the table and everyone can coo over her and tell you how well you have done.

Or make it your mission to find a babysitter - you need one if you have no family nearby anyway - there are agencies or you can ask around or maybe even if you check with the hotel again one of the hotel staff members might be happy to do it.

YANBU, but a babysitter in the hotel room would make your evening better!

Have fun!

Poohbearsmom · 25/11/2009 15:55

I would never ever do this!! It is not even remotely like being down stairs at home with the baby asleep upstairs with your monitor on etc this is a hotel which like ppl said anything could happen & it will be noisy... If ya really want to go jus put her in her pram or a sling would be handier... But dont leave your baby alone (ya ya monitor i know...) In a hotel room regardless how long its been since ya had a night out... Life is long (hopefully) there will be more nights out its not even worth thinking about all the awful things which could happen though...

Mistymoo · 25/11/2009 15:56

My dh's company booked a babysitter for us one year so that we could attend. I thought this was very generous of them. If this wasn't available we would not have attended.

The babysitter stayed in our hotel room and called down for me when ds needed a feed.

scottishmummyofone · 25/11/2009 15:58

YABU I've had numerous baby monitors and they occassionally didn't work, regardless of how near/far we were so there's no guarantee they will work in the hotel. your baby is only 5m. I'd never do it and it never ceases to shock me to hear some people do.

mumto2andnomore · 25/11/2009 15:59

No way ! cant believe you are even considering it to be honest.

ziggyf · 25/11/2009 15:59

I would probably book a room so that we could stay over but keep baby in her pram in the function room so I could keep an eye on her. At five months my DS would have slept through the party in his pram and I would have felt a lot more comfortable than leaving him in a hotel room, even if it was very close to the function room. I guess it depends oon the company/DH's colleagues though - would they think it was strange that you took your baby to the Xmas do??

Hmmmm, I'm thinking now that I'd probably rather stay at home than be bothered with all the faff! But my DH's xmas dos were never much fun anyway....

PS I don't think you are being completely unreasonable though, I know plenty of people who would do this without worrying!

Maleeka · 25/11/2009 15:59

Add me to the no's. I just wouldnt be able to relax knowing my 5m old baby is in a room alone, so it would be a waste of an evening for me.

FabIsVeryLucky · 25/11/2009 16:00

What are you going to do if your H doesn't agree with you? His wants or the baby's well being? It is as stark as that imo.

We went to a wedding and the reception was in the hotel we were staying over night in. Our child was 20 months. Didn't even cross my mind to leave him, even though nothing wakes this child up. We took it in turns and met up later.

wonderingwondering · 25/11/2009 16:03

I wouldn't. Mine were 4 and 2 at my SIL's wedding, we had the whole venue to ourselves so no strangers wandering the corridors, only one main access route. So I eventually put them upstairs in our room. But I then stood at the bottom of the only stairwell, and went up every 5-10 mins to check them. I just couldn't relax.

TBH, I would raise an eyebrow if I was at a work do and someone said they'd left their baby upstairs on its own. I don't actually think it is the norm these days.

susie100 · 25/11/2009 16:11

I think you are getting a hard time on here, plenty of people do this.

For what it is worth my DH was really comfortable doing this, I was not so we did not but it does not make him a bad father. He is just a bit zen and relaxed about most things (it won't happen etc etc)

I really would consider sharing a room and a babysitter with the other family in the same situation. It has to be cheaper than both of you getting a room at the hotel?

mistletoekisses · 25/11/2009 16:18

YABU.

I would never do this, however old the child. Nearly all hotels will have some local babysitters they use/ can recommend.

You mentioned in your OP that another friend is going to do the same, is that on the same night? Club together, put your LO's in one room and get a babysitter.

I shudder to think about someone doing this.

BreadAndJam · 25/11/2009 16:24

I have done this (with slightly older dcs), and so have many of my friends.

So don't be alarmed by the horrified replies on here - I don't think it is unreasonable at all to consider it.

I would say that you won't really know whether you feel ok about it until you get to the hotel and see what it's like and where your room is and so on. Whilst we have left dcs in a hotel room on a couple of occasions, we also stayed somewhere earlier this year where it didn't feel right to leave them in the room - because it was a busy place and there was easy access to where our room was from the carpark without going past hotel reception etc

I really don't think that harm can come to a baby left sleeping - it is the same as being left upstairs. I think people are being a little alarmist with the worry of a baby choking to death/vomiting and choking whilst sleeping. Really, have any of you ever known this to happen?

Anyway I definately think YANBU to want to enjoy a night out with your dh at xmas - I hope you get to go and have a good time .

Sassybeast · 25/11/2009 16:27

Breadandjam - no she didn't die but she might have done if I hadn't heard her

givecarrotsachance · 25/11/2009 16:29

Abso-bloody-lutely. Have done, would do again. What utter shite about "she may vomit or choke herself" FFS. Shit happens and you can't do anything about it - you can't be with them 24/7 so why bugger up your own life to wrap them in cotton wool? Anything like this can happen when they're asleep on their own and you're in the kitchen cooking something with the radio on. What about when our mums left us tucked up in the pram at the bottom of the garden? We didn't choke to death and there's no way they could have heard us.

I would never do what Maddie's parents did - they left their children in an unlocked room and went to a restaurant down the street with no monitor. Even then, that was an absolutely incredibly bad luck situation. I would and have done just what you're doing. We also left ours in the house and went to the pub 2 doors down... monitor worked fine there, too, and if he cried I could be there in seconds. In fact, the pub beer garden was NEARER to the baby's room than the end of my garden and noone would suggest it wasn't ok for me to have a meal in my own garden of a summer's evening, now would they.

So arrest me. He is now a healthy 5 year old. Guess what? He didn't choke/burn/get abducted. I have a life and most of it is spent doting on him.

Practical notes. Try to get a room as close to the restaurant as possible for the best signal and check that it works beforehand. Worth taking a sling or baby chair in case she doesn't settle. And have fun.

BeehiveBaby · 25/11/2009 16:30

Have done this. Restaurant was no further away than some people's kitchen in the hotel we did it in (same one twice).

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13