to consider leaving 5m DD in hotel room witgh monitor while we go to DH's work Xmas meal in the hotel?

[sassyhopper32]

As the thread title says, my DH's work is having a Xmas meal in a couple of weeks at a nearby hotel. The only way that we could both go would be to book room overnight and have DD in the room and take monitor. I am going to find out from the hotel exactly where the meal will be so that we can specify room as close by as possible and we would also check on her periodically as well as using the monitor. They don't have a baby listening service or babysitters etc.

We don't have any family nearby who could babysit and the only people we know locally will all be at the same function. We haven't been out together without DD since her birth and I haven't been out at night at all. Is it totally a no-no to even consider this? DH has no reservations, but I think it's maybe different for blokes.....and one of his friends and wife have also said that they're doing same thing, which doesn't make it wrong or right IMO.

Ah ha, just read she wouldn't slepp in a sling. She would. I promise. If you had the right sling. Do you own one?

Even though you hate me Breadandjam I'll reply anyway - it's not just the physical act of choking which 'can' cause death. What happens is that the stomach contents 'can' enter the lungs, because the preventative mechanism doesn't work. These contaminants can cause a severe infection, respiratory distress, respiratory distress and death. (adding disclaimer about how rare it actually is)

I couldn't breathe at all something was stuck in esophagus. I pushed with my arms under my ribs and by a miracle it dislodged. Lost my voice for a week afterwards.

I honestly thought I was going to die and believe I could have if I hadn't managed to dislodge it but then I'm no expert. Terrifying. Will admit I had been out for a drink earlier but only had two glasses of wine, felt ill as I'd just landed in the Southern Hemisphere. Had a bite to eat and ran to the bathroom.

yes I bet she's get used to a sling if you have her in it enough. Some cultures have babies in them all the time even whilst working.

Simple.

Get a sitter - she can read a book in your hotel room until you get back.

Otherwise, don't go.

No brainer.

Better to be safe than sorry

I'm back.

Loads more replies, thanks. Well, to update you - told DH that I wasn't going to do it, he's fine and totally understands and so that's the end of it. Please no more flamings....

In answer to some points:

• no it wasn't the be all and end all to go but would have been nice if reasonable, but it isn't, so it's not happening.

• of course we wouldn't want to put our precious DD at risk, my gut feeing was that it wasn't OK.

• the lack of babysitter isn't because of cost, it's because we don't know any in the area, and because we only moved here because of DH's job - I used to commute to London, making it very difficult to get to know local people (we live in the West Midlands, so was a looong journey each day). Virtually everyone we know is at DH's work, apart from a few mums I know casually, but not well enough yet to ask if they'll babysit.

Anyway, to sum up, we're not doing it, my DD isn't at risk, thanks, and I still think I'm an OK mum.

I really appreciate all the responses.

After the Mccanns..can't believe you could even consider this tbh...a millions and one things could go wrong fgs...either don't both go or get a babysitter..welcome to life as a parent..

Lupo, please read what I posted just before your post, thanks.

sassyhopper32 - good for you. For what it's worth I think you've made right decision.
Hope you get a night out some other time

Good I'm glad, but I would try the hotel for babysitting arrangements before you rule it out. A friend of mine, a childminder, goes to hotels for weddings and functions.

Didn't mean to scaremonger with my incidents, just passing on what really did happen.

Sassyhopper, I meant a pro sitter, you still have plenty of time to book that.

I can see you don't feel comfotable doing it, but i believe you'll feel at least 4 years younger if you do go.

HTH x

Definately don't leave the baby by itself -it could choke! Even if you have a monitor chances are you won;t hear if something is wrong! You say you haven't been out since the baby was born -well go out when you have a babysitter, find a babysitter-ask around ask neighbours, loads of teenagers need pocketmoney! I'm really not holier than thou , I have an 8yr old and a 7 month old and have been to loads of hotels -we take them to dinner with us, and when they get too tired one of us goes back to the room and we take turn about -it really is better to be safe than sorry! You can have fun and have a lovely baby -but you both have to take turns!

Course you're a fab mum Sassyhopper - you do realise that you'll get mixed up with stroppy old me . Parenting is all about risks, weighing them up and weighing them down. We all bring our own personal experiences and those of our friends to the table when we make decisions. When my DD was 5 months old, I would probably have considered doing what you have - DH definately would have - he'd still leave em home alone all weekend if he could get away with it but then my personal experiences changed my approach completely. Gut feeling is a real key thing though and if you have any doubts at all about the practicalities and realities of it all, then gut instinct is the best decision maker. Hope you and hubby manage to get a night out soon

Good decision sassyhopper32. I guessed you weren't convinved in your OP. Hope the comments on here helped reassure you that your gut instinct was good.

I often lament the absence of a social life, I'm just hoping it improves down the line!

maxpower - it does

i dont think the monitor is such a bad idea.half hourly checks. the only problem would be the amount of staff that would have had access to your room.

Thanks Sassybeast Us Sassies must stick together!

I think its really sad that Op isn't going to the party. I am on the other thread re parties and partners being invited. Dh is invited to my works do. They are fabarooney.
What a shame she won't consider he 'sitters' website. please Op, give them a ring atleast. you might go and have a fab time, confident knowing that someone professional is lookig after your cherished one.

Maxpower - yes, I did post because I was worried it was a bad idea. I don't really resent the lack of social life, have kind of got used to things, but also hoping for improvement soon!

She would almost certainly be completely fine, but there's no way at all I'd do it, and I'd anyway have a miserable evening checking every 15 mins and thinking about it in between. Get a babysitter - it'll be a sight cheaper than a hotel room!

And her age is not the problem - much better to leave a little baby who can't move yet than an older one, if you're going to leave them somewhere at all.

I went to a wedding with an evening reception when ds was 10 months. 5 hours drive from home and I didn't know anyone who could babysit. I called the hotel before I confirmed I could go to the wedding to check what babysitting facilities they had. I booked a babysitter through them and she was fab. I'd never left ds with someone I didn't know before but I trusted the hotel and I trusted my instincts with her.

I'm wary of relying on baby monitors as I've spent many evenings eavesdropping on near neighbours down our road (not next door) whose conversations were broadcast in my house. Didn't happen every night and it seemed to make no difference if I switched channels.

I wouldn't do this

And I actually think that doing this is wrong

Yes, Quattrofangs, I'm not doing it.

sassyhopper32 think you need one of these

SHE'S NOT DOING IT NOW!!!!