to consider leaving 5m DD in hotel room witgh monitor while we go to DH's work Xmas meal in the hotel?

[sassyhopper32]

As the thread title says, my DH's work is having a Xmas meal in a couple of weeks at a nearby hotel. The only way that we could both go would be to book room overnight and have DD in the room and take monitor. I am going to find out from the hotel exactly where the meal will be so that we can specify room as close by as possible and we would also check on her periodically as well as using the monitor. They don't have a baby listening service or babysitters etc.

We don't have any family nearby who could babysit and the only people we know locally will all be at the same function. We haven't been out together without DD since her birth and I haven't been out at night at all. Is it totally a no-no to even consider this? DH has no reservations, but I think it's maybe different for blokes.....and one of his friends and wife have also said that they're doing same thing, which doesn't make it wrong or right IMO.

chattermouse - but that could happen when your baby is upstairs asleep in their room. Or do you never leave them unattended even at home?

Consider myself a relaxed parent but I wouldn't do this. Stayed in hotels a few times with DD, the youngest I left her alone in a hotel room whilst I was in a bar nearby was about aged 11.

I would ask the hotel for a babysitting service, a local child minder might visit the hotel for functions, then club together.

Bread&jam - that wasn't the point i was making. I was simply answering your earlier question with an example of how a seemingly 'healthy' baby may die choking on vomit.

Not sure how much anecdotes help in these cases because everyone's minds always seem pretty made up one way or another, but I used to do this when we went away to a hotel quite regularly (Star Trek conventions of all things! I know, I was young, etc etc )

Left DD in hotel room, with phone off hook. Reception assured us that this was often done and they would page us immediately if a peep was heard. (No, it wasn't in France ) This worked fine on several occasions.

Until one night when the the fire alarms went off when we were in the hotel disco. Security guards milling around everywhere ordering us all to evacuate immediately - no exceptions. Panic, screaming, mayhem, shoving.

I ran past the guards into the foyer and saw hundreds of people streaming down the stairs (lifts out of bounds in suspected fires.) I had to battle and shove against this wall of people to run up several flights of stairs and get to DD's room. All the time in my mind was a vision of everyone safely evacuated but DD burning to death in her room with no-one able to get to her.

Nothing happened - it wasn't even a fire - disco 'smoke' set the alarms off. But the panic and desperation I felt knowing I had to fight my way through a stampede to get to the child that I had put in danger meant that was the last time I'd ever do that (and felt thoroughly stupid and feckless for ever having done it at all.)

Oh ok chattermouse - thanks for answering the question. Yes I can see that that's an example of how a previously supposed healthy baby could die. Rare though, I hope?

But I guess I want to add, that I don't think it is possible or good to try to watch your baby all the time in case of such things.

add another "no" from me aswell - i wouldnt. i would never settle and i wouldnt enjoy myself. you might aswell either not bother going or get a baby sitter.

I think it would be easier and cheaper to hire a babysitter from that sitters site to be at your home and go out, taxi home if you are drinking. Hotel rooms are pretty expensive, and the baby might not settle so well in a strange place.

Breadandjam, with DD, it was assumed quite early on that she'd had a fit of some sort although subsequently all the tests for epilepsy were clear so the most 'likely' scenario was that she's had a febrile convulsion - when she went to bed she had a snotty nose but nothing else. Her temperature in A&E was through the roof, but that may have been because of the infection itself which took hold with frightening speed.
FWIW I agree with you about not being able to watch them every second - I had to fight hard not to turn myself into an obsessive nutter after what happened We all take risks based on our knowledge and experience - for me, in the OPs scenario, the risk of abduction wouldn't even figure.

Friends ?

Ok this is how I think about it. Would you be happy to leave a million pounds in cash in your room sitting in a cot? Especially if everyone knew you had bought a million pounds in cash to the hotel and were leaving it in your room?

If the answer is yes then by all means go ahead and leave him. If the answer is no then don't. I know your DS is worth more to you than a million pounds.

I have done this a couple of times and not been particularly concerned about it. But over a quiet dinner where I could definintely hear the monitor. Might be slightly different at a noisy party.

Getting a babysitter is the simplest solution - the reasons I didn't was first time was driving through France - knew no babysitter and second time was Cowley Manor where they specifically offered baby monitors that reached all the rooms so that parents could enjoy dinner - ie it was suggested/encouraged by the hotel. (This was pre Madeleine McCann).

I do think the reaction on here is pretty OTT hysterical.

OP, I have only read your posts and not those of other people (not being snobbish, just tired) so forgive me if I'm repeating something already said.

If you can financially stretch to it, why not get a hotle room AND a sitter? You'll put DD to bed in the hotel room (I know my kids wouldn't go to sleep for someone they didn't know at 5 months)and the sitter will simply stay there reading her book until your do is finished. If DD wakes up you'll only be 2 minutes away

Apples post has just reminded me of an incident, how could I forget. Was on holiday in Florida with DD when she was 11. Lovely hot day and she was moaning she was tired so I took her to the room, where she promptly put the TV on. I went down to the pool to sunbathe and the fire alarm went off!

Nanic set in as she was 10 floors up. I asked reception if I could use the lift. Stupid I know! Found the bedroom door open no sign of DD. She had felt the door for heat before leaving the room and met a couple on the landing. They got down the fire escape. Now if there had been a fire, turns out it was a false alarm. I would have been caught in it and DD safe, you just don't think about your own safety in a moment like that.

We had been involved in a hotel fire previously to this. Hotels are fire hazards IME.

cant you take turns he goes downstair mingle for time then you swop,he come upstair you go mingle

but no i wouldn't leave 5mth baby with monitor to check periodically.

or can you bring a friend along solely for baby sitting they remain in room with baby you and dh attend party.then pay the baby sitter send her home in cab.the hotel will be busy with party so they wont notice someone else going in the room

sorry- being a bit of a Johnny come lately cos I had to do tea time- and going back to some earlier posts-

Rockbird ta for that. I should've been clearer in my last post that when I said "you" I didn't mean you- rather I meant "one". I did try it with "one" but it looked proper pompous, even for me

and workingitoutasIgo- begging your pudding, where are my manners?

welcome to the vipers' nest!

YABU as we should all have learnt from Maddy.

YABU.

It's only a work Christmas meal for crying
out loud, is it really that essential you go?

I would not enjoy myself at all that a baby so young would be left alone in a hotel room.

If you have no one to sit, it's tough, that's life, get on with it.

Sassybeast - it is interesting to know about your experience, and I am glad to know that your dd was Ok after such a frightening experience.

And yes, it hadn't really occurred to me that a healthy child could go to sleep, fit, and choke on their own vomit. Actually I'm glad that I hadn't thought of this before and glad that my dc are older now, I hope parents of babies reading this thread realise just how rare such things happening are - and that you just can't let yourself worry about every single risk like this because you would never sleep again.

Sassybeast - I have to also say that I find the tone of your posts, apart from your last one, unnecessarily rude, so no, probably not "friends".

Bread- sorry, didn't mean to scare, that was just a reality for us and we literally didn't sleep. He had apnoea too so no chance to take our eyes off him, hense my PND I think. I hope things will be easier with bump, and if not, atleast I know it only lasts a couple of months and then things pick up.

Oh crap, I was thinking I was on another thread where I'd mentioned reflux and choking etc (in pregnancy).

Sorry bread, everyone ignore my last post, it's not relevent.

Are you always this petulent when you're proved wrong then ? It's extremely frustrating when someone makes a statement with such incredible self belief, about something they know nothing about and persists in that assertion even when presented with the facts. I don't recall you saying that you were wrong in your asseryions ? But don't worry - I don't hold grudges It's very unhealthy.

Just had a better look at the discussion about choking on vomit. Note that someone said death by choking this way can happen when someone is extremely drunk.

I nearly choked by inhaling vomit and I certainly wasn't drunk, just happened to retch and breathe in whilst bending over a toilet bowl. Not sure how I did it but managed to dislodge it and breathe again. A very frightening experience, have had a phobia about throwing up ever since.

BrokenBananaTantrum at 18.55 has a very good point about the million pounds....think it should be quote of the day!

Oh, I'm petulant am I?

abouteve - you 'nearly' choked remember - I don't think you could have choked and actually died in your situation.
I'm saying this, not to upset Sassybeast, but because I know something about vomit phobia and it can be really awful, I hope yours isn't too bad.

Sorry, I've read exactly the OP so I'm sure this has been mebtioned before, but can you not just wear her in a sling for the night?

I took 8 mo DD to a wedding in a wrap last weekend and stayed dancing my socks off till midnight. She slept through the whole thing.

YADBU to leave her alone in a room IMO