To say this to DH

[scrummymum]

My DH has been invited on a stag do next year to Dublin. They are going on Thursday morning and coming back on Sunday night. This guy used to work with DH and they often went out on a weekend in a big group but they are not BF's or anything and now that they don't work together, they only see each other when they go out with another friend who see's them both regularly. This has only happened about 2 or 3 times this year.

I have told DH that I am not happy about him going for this long. We have a 5 year old DD and a 2 year old DS and as he has a job with long hours, I don't want him to waste 2 days of his annual leave and a weekend away from us.

Also, the trip will be horrendously expensive, with 3 nights in a hotel, food and an obscene amount of alcohol and travel. Its not that we can't afford it especially as it is so far in advance that we can save up, but wouldn't that money be better spent taking his family on a weekend away?

Maybe I am just BU but all these hen/stag do's are really starting to p* me off now.

I completely agree with Mishey - YANBU. Personally, I would be very unhappy if my dh even considered a trip like this, you are a family and your time is better spent together.

Ohh tough one. On the one hand I'm firmly in favour of time apart to see your friends etc but three days of getting legless while you're at home looking after kids seems unreasonable to me. Partly that's cos whole stag/hen do thing has got completely out of hand - one night is plenty surely? If it was his BF I might object less but weighing this up, all things considered, I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I understand your point Maleeka, you have to retain some of your previous self otherwise you can lose yourself completely.

However, this is a stag do we're talking about not a hobby.

My DH takes time to play golf and will be marshalling at The Open this year, which involves taking a week out of his annual leave. That is his hobby, something he gets enjoyment from. There's no question from me that he should do it.

A stag do, especially when the stag isn't a close friend doesn't really carry the same weight, for me at least.

Absolutely my point Mishy. My DH goes every year to the Motor Show as he loves everything about cars. He takes a day or two out of his annual leave and goes with a friend. I do not have a problem with this at all.

And just because we can scrape the money together, does this mean that it can't be better spent on something else. My car which I previously mentioned is knackered and really needs replacing, this will have to be put on hold until the stag saving has been done and we will be going on our main summer holidays with our DC's and this will probably mean the difference between an OK holiday or a better one.

What is the matter with a night out around the local pubs??? (shrugs)