to despise the parents with the horriable horriable children

[bogie]

That don't belive in any form of discipline?

There is a child who ds(4) goes to a football club with who is just the most vile little boy I have ever met.
Disrespectful to his mum, friends, any other adults he feels like and his mum does nothing.
The boy is 4-5 he calls my ds(and all the other children there) nasty names he kicked ds off a climing frame and when I said to him 'that wasn't kind was it?' he just screamed in my face.
Now I don't expect his mum to smack him but I do think he needs to be pulled up about things my ds is no angel but if he is rude or nasty he will be pulled up about it and made to apologize right away.
No if it was a one off then fair enough but this is happening week in week out and she just seem's to think it is fine.
So aibu to think that parents should take responsability for there dc's actions and not let them ruin things for everyone else?

I have seen far far bitchier on here, and a lot less funny too.....

Knight knight

Get the kid alone, and tell him a story about a little boy who was nasty and ended up with just half a face, after some gruesome monster, living under his bed, had eaten it.

I love MN for providing me with waves of UK nostalgia.

Where I live now you would never get to read a thread about whether you can/should do anything about a child displaying horrendous behaviour. The mother would be asked in no uncertain terms to sort her child out or leave. The whole process would take about 5 minutes and no one would give it another thought.

How boring.

That's why I have to lurk on here so much.

Long gone now but

'My DS was chosen as a buddy for a child with quite severe Aspergers Syndrome at school, and was devastated when this child repeatedly tried to 'strangle' him and drag him around by the neck. The mother rarely tried to address my DS's feelings
as she expected complete empathy for her son's condition, but in the end my DS, who has been bought up to accept that there are many reasons why we are all different, 'hated' him'

TMW are you sure the Mum knew?Just, ds1's behaviour only ever comes to light when I am approached directly,school bury it; I'm anot advocating knocking on her door full throttle or sending your hubby in to scream in the playground (both have happened to me) but I do tend to advocate a friendly chat, and also a letter to the LEA; the latter is the only way school will be given additional resources of the type needed to make a difference.

There are of courseparents that don't give a flying toss, thats true of all kids.

I clearly have a stunted sense of humour as I haven't read anything funny in the comments on here. Pathetic and bitchy, yes. But not actually funny. I teach grammar and am more capable than the average person of being annoyed at mistakes. Strangely enough, the OP didn't annoy me. The mistakes were actually spelling errors and confusing homophones (i.e. there and their, for those sniggering at the back), rather than grammatical ones anyway, which just shows how quick people are to jump in and criticise - while also saying (without irony in some cases) that the OP is wrong to describe a child as 'vile'! You couldn't make it up. I just hope that the current media obsession with MN isn't going to lead journos to this page or we will all be painted as even more idiotic than is already the case.

What the ??

OP- i think vicarinatutu has sensibly answered pretty much the only reason why you might have been being unreasonable - YANBU

there are simply kids that are naughty because their parents

1. refuse to recognise they are being naughty
2. refuse to do anything about it
3. blame the child/ other people for everything bad that consequentially happens.

if children grew up to be good as a matter of course, we could all just stop bothering now couldn't we? Just feed them 3* daily and let them get on with it without ever a worry for how they'd turn out.

Absolutely peachy, she was a 'friend', she noted that DS was increasingly reluctant to spend time with her DS and we talked. I expressed my DS's confusion that he had been told (by her) that the lad would be especially loyal because of DS's kindness, and yet this wasn't the case, she gave me literature about how AS affected her DS to show my own son, but just didn't seem to connect that however tolerant DS tried to be about this lad's condition, he was upset and didn't like being physically manhandled.

In my DS's defense, he is a true people person and can connect with pretty well anyone, he really did try but just lost heart. IMO opinion the school handled it badly with either the attitude that the other children should just 'ignore' the incidents in which they felt uncomfortable, or the other side where a teacher showed very little tolerance to the lad himself with the attitude ''all children have special needs''

I childminded(?) him once a week for about 6 months to try and help give his mum a break and both myself and the lads mum thought he would benefit from out of school interaction with his peers that he was mising out on, but the situation became impossible and I felt I had to listen to my own son's needs.

Your ds sounds lovely MW. DS is much like this and I am totally aware of it- the chance has come up to fight for a very small number of places ijn an AS Comp stream, but I have hated the effects ds1 has on other kids almost as much as I hate the efect his disability ahs on him, IYKWIM?

Hi Bogie,
whats his mom like? and what do the other mothers say about this little boys behavior? I'm always the first to comment on nasty little children. It's a bad habit of mine though, I always thought I was immune from rearing little ones. (how wrong I was).

Thank-you Peachy....he is .

I don't know what the answer is, I completely suppport the integration of SN children into 'mainstream' education (forgive me if the terminology is wrong, I have no intention to offend).

The council in our area has a lot to answer for, as do the attitudes of some of the parents. DS is going to a school with an excellent track record for assisting children with any special needs...emotional/physical/academic. Although he hasn't had an official DX, DS will always be a square peg and it is so fundamentally essential that any child on the broad spectrum of SN is given the chance to reach their potential.

In a sense a parent that doesn't deal with a child for inappropriate behaviour as described in the OP is doing them a grave disservice. They have to grow up to socialise with their peers and most children need to be accepted. If that child grows up thinking that he is behaving 'OK' he may well have problems making friends and that is sad. The problem is that as child they may gain some sympathy for not getting the right example from their parents but by the time they are teenagers, their learned behaviour may be such that they don't know how to change.

Oh FFS! It's been funny. Most of the 'bitchy' comments weren't directed at the OP anyway. ANd she said she didn't mind. So why is everyone leaping to her defence so self-righteously.

For the record MN does tend to deal a little sternly with those who jump in with judgemental sweeping statement about complete strangers especially when they use extreme words such as 'despise' and 'horrible' (at a child). If the thread title has been pitched slightly less unpleasantly there would have been none of the micky-taking regardless of the creative spelling.