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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to despise the parents with the horriable horriable children

136 replies

bogie · 23/11/2009 15:35

That don't belive in any form of discipline?

There is a child who ds(4) goes to a football club with who is just the most vile little boy I have ever met.
Disrespectful to his mum, friends, any other adults he feels like and his mum does nothing.
The boy is 4-5 he calls my ds(and all the other children there) nasty names he kicked ds off a climing frame and when I said to him 'that wasn't kind was it?' he just screamed in my face.
Now I don't expect his mum to smack him but I do think he needs to be pulled up about things my ds is no angel but if he is rude or nasty he will be pulled up about it and made to apologize right away.
No if it was a one off then fair enough but this is happening week in week out and she just seem's to think it is fine.
So aibu to think that parents should take responsability for there dc's actions and not let them ruin things for everyone else?

OP posts:
SingleMum01 · 23/11/2009 16:03

what does AIBU and YANBY mean?

Hullygully · 23/11/2009 16:05

Air India Buys Underwear

You Are Not Brian, Yolande

OrmIrian · 23/11/2009 16:05

Oh the unusual spelling was just a bonus. I was really reacting to the use of the words 'despise' and 'horrible'.

cornsilkwearscorsets · 23/11/2009 16:08

I think it's pretty horrible to start a thread about a 4 year old child.

teameric · 23/11/2009 16:10

at Hullygully

Rindercella · 23/11/2009 16:11

Cornsilk, you missed a horrible and vile little boy.

As I said earlier, horrible thread. Now I really will run from it.

whoisasking · 23/11/2009 16:13

I love you a little bit Hully.

bogie · 23/11/2009 16:16

corn silk if you read the thread it's about his mother and her lack of discipline.

OP posts:
NormaSknockers · 23/11/2009 16:19

I cannot believe the way people are acting about a spelling mistake! So you all spell perfectly all of the time? Just because a word has been spelt incorrectly doesn't mean the question doesn't deserve an answer & that the OP should be ridiculed!

OP - YANBU to expect the parent to step in & try & stop this childs behaviour, he doesn't sound very pleasent at all. Whether the child has issues such as autism or not, surely kicking a child off of a climbing frame is not acceptable?

Sassybeast · 23/11/2009 16:21

OP - take no notice of the snidey remarks about spelling. Some of us can only aspire to be perfect YANBU to be pissed off at this behaviour but YABU to expect to be told anything other than he's got special needs/it's acceptable/how dare you suggest that a child needs discipline....

bogie · 23/11/2009 16:26

I don't care about people taking the piss. Dp takes the piss out of me all the time he is fantastic at spelling & grammar.
I know can't spell very well and i'm not that bothered.

OP posts:
LeQueen · 23/11/2009 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curryfreak · 23/11/2009 16:38

He sounds obnoxious!

Marioandluigi · 23/11/2009 16:39

FFS - the way some of you are acting is so ironic given the topic.

Hullygully · 23/11/2009 16:43

Because I now feel mean for commenting on your spelling (which you don't care about and good for you), may I just say how very lovely your children are.

bogie · 23/11/2009 17:02

Thanks they are pretty fantastic arn't they
I do care that I can't spell (it takes hours to write a letter as I need google up to make sure I am correctly spelling things) but I don't mind having the piss taken out of me, I take the piss out of people all the time so I deserve a bit of stick..... i''m not off to NM's or bounty for hugggggs and txt speak yet.

OP posts:
Peachy · 23/11/2009 17:04

QWell you know MrsBean you're right but that dosn't mean the kids will understand and change their ways- I don't work with ASD kids but 8do* ahve 2 (at very different levels but one with AS looking to go into a comp AS place, and one already in a SNU with ASD) and am also doing an MA; there are parts of social behavioural issues that dsq just won't get- when you can't master cause and effect it becomes an incredibly difficult battle.

However there are far more disorders than ASD; ODD, EBD, tired child who can't get a nights sleep disorder (OK I amde that one up but anyone who ever cared for an overtired toddler knows what I mean)....

A great many issues that cannot be picked up except by a specialised Psych come under a general SEN heading and would affect behaviour or crucially aprenting: I've seen foster aprents with chidlren who ahve had difficult starts have to go back to an absolue non discipline level and slowly build boundaries whilst dealing with alck of confidence etc.

Me- I don't think i'veever met a vile child in my life. Oh I can think of a few rotters, but pretty much always a reason there- from the kid who bullies DS2 periodically (by far the brightest child in the class in a school with no G&T programme and severe boredom) to A child on ds1'sclass whose Mum does her best but has Bipolar Disorder; and yes, including my ds1 who has AS and is probably descrinbed by a great many as vile (his AS is well amsked unless you are very very familiar with him in all settings, he does a confirmed DX though).

'surely kicking a child off of a climbing frame is not acceptable?
' No its not, and absolutely I would have removed the DS's from that situation, and given them a good telling off to boot- but in all honesty I do it in the main for the abused child, DS'sdon't give a damn (well ds3, oddly the more severe) does but DS1 has done exactly this sort of thing repeatedly for eyars and even when I hover like a hawk he still manages to find chancees.

but anyway, whilst ASD is on the rise it's still only 1% of the pop I think, and so chances are you have a aprent who can't parent..... that may make the aprent vile, but it doesn't make the child so, just very unfortunate.

cornsilkwearscorsets · 23/11/2009 17:05

I have read the thread OP. My comment was in response to 'the most vile little boy I have ever met. ' etc.

UpYourViva · 23/11/2009 17:12

YANBU people should grow some balls, i have a friend that lets her ds get away with murder, he's not a nice child to be around and its his mum's fault!

TheMitsubishiWarrioress · 23/11/2009 17:14

If society is to work then children need to be taught how to behave within it.

YANBU.

My DS tends to be over enthusiastic although not intentionally mean and I always challenge his behavior if I am aware he is making someone else uncomfortable, and that includes now that he is 11 and on FB etc.

As far as children with various syndromes that affect behaviour are concerned I think it is still important for them to be encouraged to behave as appropriately as is possible. My DS was chosen as a buddy for a child with quite severe Aspergers Syndrome at school, and was devastated when this child repeatedly tried to 'strangle' him and drag him around by the neck. The mother rarely tried to address my DS's feelings
as she expected complete empathy for her son's condition, but in the end my DS, who has been bought up to accept that there are many reasons why we are all different, 'hated' him. All it would have taken would have been for someone to acknowledge how he felt about being treated in such a way whatever the Lad's problems.

daytipper · 23/11/2009 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 23/11/2009 17:19

"You Are Not Brian, Yolande"

I LOVE this.

Hullygully · 23/11/2009 17:21

(Thank you Paggykins)

cornsilkwearscorsets · 23/11/2009 17:22

You Are Not Being Unconditional

Hullygully · 23/11/2009 17:23

No, Cornsilk. The question asked what YANBY stood for. Otherwise Yolande would have been a bit silly.