To be annoyed that dh managed to find time to make himself a bacon sandwich but not change ds out of his nappy?

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Dh leaves for work around 7:45 and usually sorts ds out with breakfast, takes his night nappy off, puts CBeebies on etc. This morning he's managed to find time to make himself a bacon sandwich but not do anything for ds, and also shut the bedroom door so ds couldn't get in. So I was woken up by distraught toddler on the landing.

Seriously, the man is so self-centered it's unreal. I don't know how to deal with it, but AIBU?

no yanbu

YANBU, sorry your morning got off to this start. Grr on your behalf

YANBU

Shutting him out is cruel.

Don't buy bacon next time you would have done.

He normally does it though... YANBU to be a bit upset about shutting him out but I don't think I would get too cross with him, at least he does actually help out on a morning as a rule!

Sorry, that should read "I was woken by distraught, hungry, soggy toddler."

Are you doing night feeds etc?

ah poor ds

is this a one off though? If he is normally good at doing his bit then no point having a row about it, he sounds nice and reasonable, just ask him what happened?

Is this the sort of behaviour he usually displays (as you talk about him as being self centred) or unusual ?

maybe just say, did you give ds some breakfast, cos I wasnt sure if he was being greedy or if you just ran out of time this mroning - make it into a joke.

BTW i am very jealous, my dh leave at 6.45 and I never get woken later than 7 LOL

This is pretty typical for him, he doesn't always manage to sort ds out, but that's usually because he's running late and will tell me. This morning irritated me because he clearly had plenty of time to sort himself out but not poor ds.

Yes, I am doing night feeds with dd (9 months) who also has 4 teeth coming through so managed a grand total of 3 hours sleep last night, with her and my eczema playing up.

i assume shutting him out wasn't intentional - sort of thing my DH would do!

I can tell he hasn't given ds breakfast because his bowl and cup should be by the telly (yep, I am that lax in the mornings) and they're not. So either ds has learned how to wash up and put his things away or my h is a selfish twat.

I just don't understand how a parent can put themselves first ahead of their kid. I'm going to have to do some serious thinking.

I think it's just about acceptable if he doesn't usually manage it due to getting up so late rather than idleness.
I get very annoyed with my DH if he manages, for example, to find time to make himself a fry up but not put the stuff in the dishwasher ("I didn't have time" he wails) - and that's small stuff compared to leaving a sopping wet toddler locked out of your bedroom and sorting his own needs out ahead of those of his son.
I think unreasonable does not even enter the equation here - unless referring to your husband. He would be getting an extremely large piece of my mind when he got home.

ah, well then he should be letting you have as much rest as poss.

spell it out to him

"I am very very tired, I got 3 hours sleep last night, that is my part of the deal (to breastfeed) your part of the deal is to sort ds in the mornings"

how hard can it be honestly? If he manages it most days, what 2 minutes to change nappy, 2 minutes to stick ds infront of cbeebies with something to eat?

YANBU

But I really want a bacon sandwich now.

"and also shut the bedroom door so ds couldn't get in. So I was woken up by distraught toddler on the landing."

I'm confused, does your DS normally just roam about the house until you wake or does your DP wake you before he goes?

My DP starts work at 7am so I need to get up at 6.30ish at the latest and DP is normally rushing about too much to do anything so that you DH normally helps

BUT on this occassion YANBU, I could understand making himself breakfast if DS was acting up maybe but no need to shut him out and not take off his nappy.

How old is DS? I would just eplain to your DH that DS was totally upset because he couldn't get into the bedroom and could he remember to leave it open as DS can't get in himself. I wouldn't go mad TBH because maybe he was just rushing around and forgot the door was closed?!

Oh no, he won't have done it to be cruel, it's just thoughtlessness, but ffs - he just never thinks. He's constantly walking around in a cloud, completely wrapped up in himself.

Oops x-post by the time I'd typed that

I'd say what Gingernut suggests because it is totally true!

Yep. Ds usually watches CBeebies/Milkshake till I wake up, or till he or dd wake up. He's nearly 3. Dh didn't even need to change his nappy, just take it off as ds is dry in the day (but stll wears night nappy).

What is it with all these dps/dhs, they seem to be very self centred and selfish of late.

yeah the thoughtlessness and cloud thing sounds like my dh - I have to spell things out to him very clearly, then he does them 90% of the time, he's human so fair enough

(i just hae to make sure i include the right details cos he has no sense of initiative if I accidently miss out an instruction LOL for example, the beans are ready before the toast? Then turn them off ffs!)

"Till he or dd wake me up," that should say - NAIP (Nursing At iPhone!)

God, I know I am a bit of a stuck record, but at people being impressed that OP's dh usually "helps". WTF?

oh, and at 3, can your ds be taught to pop his night nappy in the bin? My dd has been for ages. And teach ds to say to daddy, "breakfast and cbeebies please daddy" over and over, loudly

Just seen state of kitchen