To be annoyed that dh managed to find time to make himself a bacon sandwich but not change ds out of his nappy?

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Dh leaves for work around 7:45 and usually sorts ds out with breakfast, takes his night nappy off, puts CBeebies on etc. This morning he's managed to find time to make himself a bacon sandwich but not do anything for ds, and also shut the bedroom door so ds couldn't get in. So I was woken up by distraught toddler on the landing.

Seriously, the man is so self-centered it's unreal. I don't know how to deal with it, but AIBU?

[SarahSon]

I think I rest my case.

Lol @ the shrieks of rightous horror on this thread. The man just left a door closed accidentally, not really crime of the decade!

[notyummy]

Bit more understandable then!

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Ok, have just been talking to him on msn, and he says he did share his sandwich with ds, and he also had a banana (ds must've put the skin in the bin) but when he tried to take the nappy off ds started freaking out so he didn't push it as it was only wet, not dirty.

Dh only made himself a hot breakfast as we're skint at the mo and he's no money for lunch. So I can let him off that one.

The bedroom door was just an oversight, which - while annoying - when put into context with the other stuff is forgivable.

[FabHasHadHerSurprise]

out - not put.

[FabHasHadHerSurprise]

*SarahSon" - "help put"??? Bloody hell.

[notyummy]

Ali - really good point. A woman would almost certainly be judged differently. It's the 'I'm not quite competent at this household stuff me - I'm no multitasker' excuse some men try that drives me up the wall. I bet there will be loads of things they choose to be good multitaskers at.

Don't put up with it.

My DH btw has always more than pulled his weight whenever he can. His is in the military so has to be away sometimes, but always trys to do more than me round the house/with DD when he gets back....and its not like he has been away on a golfing weekend...

[Jem27]

YANBU. You shouldnt have to feel grateful that he does his share they are his children too.

[mamadiva]

Mamight- I can't speak for everyone but when I said I was envious that her DP helped I didn't mean because he helped but the fact that he had time too!

There are 2 parents and both should help equally IMO!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

for you. Can't believe how many are saying 'oh well let him off if he's normally ok'. If we were talking about a mother who made herself a hot breakfast but gave her toddler nothing and then waltzed out the door to work then everyone on here would be coming down like a ton of bricks.

It is this attitude that we shouldn't expect too much of our men, the poor loves, that gives some men license to carry on behaving like twats.

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

The only thing I can think is that maybe he shared his sandwich with ds, knowing that we usually have proper breakfast when I get up. But that still doesn't excuse leaving him in his nappy.

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Every day, sorry. Rage is making me incoherent.

[notyummy]

I work and then sometimes have to look after DD on my own before/after work because DH is away with his job - and you know what.....IT CAN BE DONE!! Your DH is being self indulgent. (I can occasionally have 'woe is me' moments, but its certainly not a case of refusing to help my DH out.)

It sounds like he can't get his head round the fact that you do have a lot to do when you are on maternity leave when you have 2 small kids - and are not sleeping much at all.

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Fibilou - yes, this is the latest in a long line, but he had been getting better. I guess you can't change someone's nature. Once a selfish twunt, always a selfish twunt.

Although of course he would say that the act of going out to work every at a job he loathes is selflessness personified.

[Fibilou]

"The thing is, if I say anything to dh, he will just start ranting on about how hard his life is, how much he hates his job, how easy I have it cause I'm on mat leave, etc etc etc. "

He sounds like a selfish pig if you ask me and from the tone of your post it comes across that this is the latest in a catalogue of annoyances.

Why do men think it's so easy being on maternity leave ?

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

The thing is, if I say anything to dh, he will just start ranting on about how hard his life is, how much he hates his job, how easy I have it cause I'm on mat leave, etc etc etc.

I'm a bit at those saying I should be grateful that he usually helps out and let him off. They are his dc too, I help him out by having dinner ready and keeping house tidy, so he can help out looking after his kids, surely?

No chance of ds putting his own nappy in the bin. He would wear the same nappy all day if left to his own devices, which is why it's so important to whip it off him ASAP!

[notyummy]

If you are feeding at night, then this really isn't much to ask and you are right to be annoyed. I would approach it with the 'pouring on the guilt' angle about how upset DS was not being able to get into the room, and also query the nappy/food. If he usually does it and managed to cook bacon then he needs a pretty good reason for why he couldn't remove a nappy and put some cereal in a bowl.

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Just seen state of kitchen

[gingernutlover]

oh, and at 3, can your ds be taught to pop his night nappy in the bin? My dd has been for ages. And teach ds to say to daddy, "breakfast and cbeebies please daddy" over and over, loudly

[MaMight]

God, I know I am a bit of a stuck record, but at people being impressed that OP's dh usually "helps". WTF?

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

"Till he or dd wake me up," that should say - NAIP (Nursing At iPhone!)

[gingernutlover]

yeah the thoughtlessness and cloud thing sounds like my dh - I have to spell things out to him very clearly, then he does them 90% of the time, he's human so fair enough

(i just hae to make sure i include the right details cos he has no sense of initiative if I accidently miss out an instruction LOL for example, the beans are ready before the toast? Then turn them off ffs!)

[pigletmania]

What is it with all these dps/dhs, they seem to be very self centred and selfish of late.

[TAFKAAAAAARGHtheUrbanDryad]

Yep. Ds usually watches CBeebies/Milkshake till I wake up, or till he or dd wake up. He's nearly 3. Dh didn't even need to change his nappy, just take it off as ds is dry in the day (but stll wears night nappy).