Roasting little children in shopping centres.

[Ninks]

AIBU to think that if you are going to drive in a heated car to a heated shopping centre then you should not dress your toddler or baby for sub-zero temperatures and then stay there for three hours?

I went into town with my sister, my DS and her toddler the other day. I'm in the S.E and it's very mild for November so I had on a T-shirt and light jacket as did my son as we were going to be inside. My sister was wearing a light top and no jacket as she is a bit big but my DN was dressed in tights, fluffy boots, a vest, fleecy top and a huge padded coat, plus a filthy but warm lacy pushchair insert.

At one point I asked my sister if she wanted to unbutton DN's coat as she was pouring with sweat, hair sticking to her and scarlet-faced but she just laughed and said she couldn't be bothered.

I have been known to "lose" hats, hats FFS, worn my sister's children now and again in hot shopping centres. Why does she do it? My toddler has warm clothes and boots for, er - walking. In the cold and wet and snow when he is ten minutes from home.

But she isn't the only one who does this is she? I am always seeing babies swaddled under layers of blankets that you'd use for freezing outside temperatures in the fecking heated mall and judging by the swathes of bags hanging from the pushchair they haven't only been there for a few minutes.

Roaring most of them are, obviously hot and bored and very uncomfortable. If any of my DC were in that sort of state I'd be racing home, but no, the poor children are relentlessly trundled "raaaan taaaaaan"

aye god save us fae glesga biddies mumping on about the weans

Earlybird she has 2 DC but as a family member I know how she is behind closed doors, it's bad but not that bad, we see the worst because she takes it out on us so there's that.

The children are sort of fed, sort of clothed, sometimes warm and not hit AFAIK. In my town they're pretty lucky but as I've said, my parents and I would have cut her off years ago but we want to keep an eye out for the children. She really should have a Social Worker and some support but my Mum and Dad won't hear of it, it would bring shame on them.

The boyfriend wasn't harming the DC, more being nasty and winding them up. Rest assured, Mr Ninks knows of scary people who would have visited for free if they knew the circs.

Curly, love your post about the older generation's "wisdom", it's true. about your DS, though, poor little chap, that must have been very scary.

My uncle was born six weeks prem in 1940 and apparently my Grandmother had him wrapped pre-technology in hundreds of shawls and she'd peel off one every day.

at the Teflon suits. But the rain-covers on indoors yy, WTF is that about?

YANBU

My DS has always been a right sweaty little monkey - he wore nothing but a vest and nappy for the first few weeks of his life (August baby). When he was about 2 weeks old, I was wheeling him round Sainsburys in his pram, blanket off, and a little old lady actually came up to the pram and pulled the blanket back over him - I just removed it again, as I was indoors, in a heated shop.

I am sure some people really do think their babies are just little breathing dollies..

So with you on this one Ninks. My DS1 was born in December and re were readmitted when he was a few days old for suspected jaundice which turned out to be nothing. It took me three days of an open window to get the temperature of our room down to the recommended eighteen degrees. It was finally pleasant and bearable. A flushed MW came in and commented how chilly it was. She was a bit shocked when I showed her the thermometer .

I was lucky though as my mum warned me about overheating before my DCs were born as she'd know a baby suffer lifelong brain damage from overheating.

Ninks - good news that your dsis manages to keep the dc fed, clothed, bathed and generally cared for. But believe me, just because they're not being 'hit' doesn't mean they're not being hurt.

Being nasty and winding someone up can be every bit as damaging to a child as physical abuse.

I'm sure it is a long story, but one wonders how a person turns out the way your sister did when (from your description), there were/are caring parents.

How/why did you turn into such a different sort of adult?

It's strange isn't it Earlybird? My sister and I were both brought up with the same parents and the same access to education, same environment and so on.

We were both adopted separately at three months old, two and a half years between us.

I've found my level which is supposedly "better" than that of my parents. Not true, I don't own my house any more.

I started to pick out tunes on my toy piano aged two. And all the rest educationally including an offer of private school on a music scholarship. It was turned down but then again I was the chavvy child who said I was going to play a piece by "Mo-Zart" or "Chop-in" because I didn't know any better.

My sister has found her level but she was always the child they really wanted, very undemanding and easy, infantile, always the baby.

Trouble is, she is identifying with people who frankly could have been raised better. Her house is a tip with rubbish overflowing the binbag and cat-poo everywhere.

I was told that I was making too much of the fact that a half-full crisp packet was on the upstairs bathroom floor next to the lav in a pool of piss that my niece was picking up and eating,

Gah - And to infinity and beyond...

Ninks, I so believe in nature, not nurture...my Ds for example is now 11.3 and hasn't seen his father since he was 3.6 and never lived with us and in fact only saw him about a dozen times in all and yet he does things, makes gestures etc that are his father.

My own brother and I are so very different. We speak differently, prioritise differently, I have the conscience for the both of us. His exw sounds a lot like your sister and it's very sad for the Dc's except they were always dirty, uncut toe nails, covered in flea bites etc after my Db had left...so sad.

Solo I do see.

Poor DC.