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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Roasting little children in shopping centres.

109 replies

Ninks · 20/11/2009 22:42

AIBU to think that if you are going to drive in a heated car to a heated shopping centre then you should not dress your toddler or baby for sub-zero temperatures and then stay there for three hours?

I went into town with my sister, my DS and her toddler the other day. I'm in the S.E and it's very mild for November so I had on a T-shirt and light jacket as did my son as we were going to be inside. My sister was wearing a light top and no jacket as she is a bit big but my DN was dressed in tights, fluffy boots, a vest, fleecy top and a huge padded coat, plus a filthy but warm lacy pushchair insert.

At one point I asked my sister if she wanted to unbutton DN's coat as she was pouring with sweat, hair sticking to her and scarlet-faced but she just laughed and said she couldn't be bothered.

I have been known to "lose" hats, hats FFS, worn my sister's children now and again in hot shopping centres. Why does she do it? My toddler has warm clothes and boots for, er - walking. In the cold and wet and snow when he is ten minutes from home.

But she isn't the only one who does this is she? I am always seeing babies swaddled under layers of blankets that you'd use for freezing outside temperatures in the fecking heated mall and judging by the swathes of bags hanging from the pushchair they haven't only been there for a few minutes.

Roaring most of them are, obviously hot and bored and very uncomfortable. If any of my DC were in that sort of state I'd be racing home, but no, the poor children are relentlessly trundled "raaaan taaaaaan"

OP posts:
jasper · 20/11/2009 23:29

NInks I have never understood this phenomenon either

BikiniBottom · 20/11/2009 23:31

Overheating is actually quite a serious issue and as people post about all manner of things, it seems rather unkind to say what you did unavailable. But maybe you were just making a joke. Things come across all wrong in print.

TwoSilverBalloons · 20/11/2009 23:35

I agree with you. My friend was told by her health visitor that 25% of cot deaths happen in pushchairs in shops for exactly that reason.

I tell everyone with small babies that statistic as so many people I know are obsessed with wrapping up small babies.

rasputin · 20/11/2009 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCrackFox · 20/11/2009 23:37

"25% of cot deaths happen in pushchairs in shops". I am shocked by that figure.

I am always surprised by parents who do not take the rain hood off when in the shops.

BikiniBottom · 20/11/2009 23:40

That statistic is very upsetting. And those parents were probably only doing what they thought was right. I was brought up thinking that the first thing I needed to buy when I had a baby was a million cardis and blankets. But as I hate being hot myself and did that first aid course I thankfully made my poor little mites chilly instead.

Original poster
Ninks · 20/11/2009 23:41

I did make a comment unavailable albeit with a .

Did you read my other thread? You don't have to of course.

Georgiemama you too should read the thread here. My sister is stupidly and horrifically unreachable.

Given all that is going on am I to be flamed for picking on one neglectful parenting thing which as far as I can see, most people in my town do? Plenty of people agree with me that it's a bit bad and some have said that awful consequences have come about.

OP posts:
rasputin · 20/11/2009 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrikeUpTheBand · 20/11/2009 23:48

It drives me mad too, Ninks. I see kids in snowsuits and heaps of blankets in a heated shopping centre all the time!

My mum is constantly berating me as well for not wrapping DS up warmly enough - she has her central heating on full blast so it's 25 degrees or more in the room he's sleeping in and then complains when I dress him lightly for bed. She also goes on at me if I try to take off his outerwear when we go into a shop! Oh and the criticism I got from her and DSIS when I took his coat off to put him into his carseat! .

So no YANBU at all.

Fibilou · 20/11/2009 23:50

All I could think about when i saw the thread was a picture in my mind of the childcatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang roasting children like chestnuts for passing shoppers

Original poster
Ninks · 20/11/2009 23:50

Thank you rasputin My sister is off the wall but I can't get SS involved because my parents do everything for her atm. That's what makes her so sure of herself and arrogant and shouty.

But I do what I can and maybe I do dislike her but I love her and I love her children.

OP posts:
Jujubean77 · 20/11/2009 23:56

I have a child whose baseline temp is v v low and is just a cold-blooded little thing, so she is always layered up from about Sept.

However the point here is the change in temp in a mall or shop. The hat and coat must come off for the child to be comfortable and regulate the body temp. I honestly think a lot of parents can't be arsed to do it. That is

unavailable · 21/11/2009 00:03

No, my post wasnt a joke, but wasnt meant to be unkind either.

Ninks - I replied to your OP on this post, I wasnt aware it was part of an ongoing mumsnet story.

In relation to this thread, you were making a general point about overheating which was clealry a good one, but you personalised it,which is why I asked why you didnt talk to your sister directly.

Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 00:08

"Why not stop posting about your sister and actually try and lend her some real support? Such as saying "don't be daft, sis, she's sweltering in there!" and just undoing the coat, like a normal person would."

Oh that I could.

Normal people do not inhabit my sister's world.

She is a very aggressive person, very.

OP posts:
LauraIngallsWilder · 21/11/2009 00:09

Hi Ninks - I read your other thread
Words fail me about how awful your sister sounds and the boyfriend. I would want to keep all children away from a man like that

And get you sister to bond with her kids properly - how can she not care whether they are too hot, or spending time with a man who behaves inappropriately around kids

I would phone someone about this - not sure who though

Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 00:11

unavailable I see, thank you and sorry. No reason why you should have known about the stories and no harm done? Gracious you x

OP posts:
claraquack · 21/11/2009 00:19

Oh my god I live in the Caribbean and they put woolly hats on their newborns, even though it is about 40 million degrees outside and roasty hot inside. I don't get it.

You also see shop workers in supermarkets wearing huge Parkas with furry hoods because they work near the freezer section. I don't think they cope to well with a chill.....

Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 00:26

"25% of cot deaths happen in pushchairs in shops".

What The Fuckity Fuck? And BF co-sleeping women are made to feel wary and guilty when a quarter of babies overheat after three hours in Primark or TK Maxx.

OP posts:
Fibilou · 21/11/2009 00:31

that's because they dare to deviate from the societal norms and therefore must be reconditioned at all costs

ToffeeCrumble · 21/11/2009 00:37

"pouring with sweat, hair sticking to her and scarlet-faced but she just laughed and said she couldn't be bothered."

Your sister is failing to respond to one of her daughters most basic needs, ie to be kept at a suitable temperature. Does she respond to her other needs? Does she feed her for example? Or does she just laugh and say she can't be bothered to feed her when she is hungry?

madrose · 21/11/2009 00:45

I remember when my dd was born it was snowing. when she was a week old, we pop her into a snow suit and went to register her and to do a little shop - she cried as she was so hot, I thought she was hungery etc - but no i had to strip her down and that was the last time we used it.

She's such a hot little thing - even now - so we layer up so we can adjust approprately. I hate being over hot and I can sort it out - poor little girl - thankfully you were there.

Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 00:50

Oh I must address the fact that I said that my sister is a big person. She is. She isn't fat really, just very tall and well-padded and intimidating and long-legged and ham-fisted and once kicked me in the stomach which required me to have emergency surgery with absolutely no sanctions from my parents. I was in my 20's as was she. Maybe I should have been able to do something? My parents said there would be no case if it was a family member.

Georgimama I'm very shocked that my post saying that my sister is bigger than me offended you. She is and she scares me to this day in terms of her lashing out. But I swallow that as long as I can see her DC every few days. She is very frightening and I do have DC of my own to mind. Rest assured I am looking for evidence but I am not going to put myself in the position of being stabbed just so that I can say that AINBU.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 01:19

Well maybe not stabbed, she hasn't gone that far yet, I hope, but certainly her "friends" are scary.

Ah this has gone well off-topic.

Hot babies in shopping centres bad?

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 21/11/2009 01:22

Doesn't everyone take off their own hats/scarves/gloves and open their jackets when they go inside? And their children's too? Otherwise you don't feel the benefit

But then I take my coat off when I get on the bus/train and put it on when I get off again. I realise this is considered unusual.

Original poster
Ninks · 21/11/2009 01:33

"Feel the benefit" , that's the scientific principle, indeed!

Quite right JAMM, you're welcome to visit for hot buttered crumpets and apple / plum / cinnamon jam any day

OP posts: