to get so annoyed with some mums to be

[LadyTeasmaid]

Today I find out if I'm preggers. If I am HURRAH! If not, my plan is to upgrade from my local crappy gym to the nice flash private one up the road as a make myself feel better pressie.

I been reading a bit on the preggers board, and it may be hormones (please!) but I'm so angry. Whinging about how they're not allowed a home birth because they're high risk! African woman have a one in 16 chance of dying in childbirth and pregnancy. And we whinge about having to go in a nice clean hospital. Makes me mad. If I am preggers I hereby swear not to whinge and moan about stuff that doesn't matter much at the end of the day.

You are already whinging my love, and you have only just started!

Hope you are preg. I personally find it very hard to remember what's big stuff and what's small stuff until well after my rants are over....

Having a good birth experience does matter. Why does it bother you anyway?

I do very much hope that you are pregnant.

However, you may find that your post is not only ill thought out but quite nasty.

Personal experience is just that. You cannot refuse somebody their feelings because of the situations of others. Otherwise you'd be trolling across MN telling people with PND because of birth trauma that at least their babies are alive. Or never mind that you've been made redundant, somebody else might have had their house repossessed.

Birth/pregnancy is a personal matter and we are allowed to experience it in our own ways without worrying about somebody else's sensibilities.

Oh I agree! It's like when they whinge because during labour, things are not going exactly like penned out in the birth plan! ffs just have the bloody baby and be done with you! I think half the time they just enjoy whinging and they go on a bit of a power trip with it all.

"I don't care if my baby needs a, b and c ... I just want to follow the birth plan!!! as long as everything goes MY way and I have complete control and power, I don't care about anything else"

I'd love to see them surviving somewhere like Africa.

MontgomeryCheese you're so right. MN is positively cluttered with women who give not a hoot about the health and wellbeing of their child and only give birth for the power trip. Of course. Look at them all. It's like a board of pregnant Thatchers. If we shipped them to Africa we could throw them to the lions. Or just as far as London Zoo to cut down on costs.

you are whinging...

okay, as to the africa comments - they really annoy me because a)its a bloody stereotype that they all give birth in fields and go straight back out to work with baby strapped on their backs. Women fret and worry about births, pain relief and the rest as much as anyone.
And on that logic, no one should very complain about anything because there's always someone worse off.

If only all hospitals were 'nice' and 'clean.'

Hijack - StewieMum - thank you so much for your help the other day with my bullying dilemma. See that post to see what happened

Can you link to the other thread, please, StweieGriffinsMom? Thanks.

One woman's whinging is another woman's legitimate expression of disappointment and frustration. What has Africa got to do with anything? Can noone express any discontent at all if there's someone in Africa who's worse off?

Surely the argument about things being harder for women in Africa could be applied to so many things (Why do people whinge about anything, at least they don't have to live in Afghanistan....etc etc) that it is kind of pointless.

I know that giving birth in other countries can be far more dangerous and painful than it is here. But if you have a 3rd degree tear with no anaesthetic it hurts, and no amount of gritting your teeth and thinking 'well at least I'm not dying in a hospital in Africa' will make it hurt less.

There is no harm in having a whinge

I do kind of get your point Lady. It reminds me reading 'Misconceptions' by Naomi Wolfe which is all about the highly medicalised American birth 'industry'. It's pretty horrendous, but I know that I'd still rather give birth there than in some village in Niger where the lifetime risk of maternal death in one in seven.

Have you checked the admission policy at the flash gym?

preggers

my hospital was over crowded, under staffed and not that clean

it DOES matter what sort of birth you have - for the health and well being of mother and baby

have you heard of the Birth Trauma Association?

it exists because many women in this country have such bad experiences

YABVVVVU

My partner did some aid work in africa as part of his medical training, he's hoping to be a doctor, not using as sterotype.

My main anger was at the thinking that health professionals tell us stuff to upset us, or to make things less enjoyable. When all they trying to do is deliver not just our babies safely, but all the other mums on the ward.

If I am preggers I hope I'll be woman enough to once again eat and drink what I'm told and do what I'm told however much I don't want to.

With my first born I was in labour for 3 days, had some intervention (eugh), most people have birth trauma, it's traumatic.

aw OP, aren't you sweet? I expect you're going to be very popular on the pregnancy boards in the future.

Oh also having contracted cdeficile during a long hospital stay, I can assure you that not all hospitals are nice and clean.

But... like others have said, just because someone else somewhere else is having a shitty time doesn't make your own shitty time the less shitty, iyswim.

PLEASE stop saying "preggers" if nothing else.

"Whinging about how they're not allowed a home birth because they're high risk"

oh but...

when you say 'they are high risk' you mean the women are having high risk pregnancies rather than 'home births are high risk'?