to get so annoyed with some mums to be

[LadyTeasmaid]

Today I find out if I'm preggers. If I am HURRAH! If not, my plan is to upgrade from my local crappy gym to the nice flash private one up the road as a make myself feel better pressie.

I been reading a bit on the preggers board, and it may be hormones (please!) but I'm so angry. Whinging about how they're not allowed a home birth because they're high risk! African woman have a one in 16 chance of dying in childbirth and pregnancy. And we whinge about having to go in a nice clean hospital. Makes me mad. If I am preggers I hereby swear not to whinge and moan about stuff that doesn't matter much at the end of the day.

TY Chegirl. I know you've been through some rough stuff and you have my love and thoughts.

My situation doesn't make me angry or upset, though I can understand how people may think that, I'm lucky. I've got DH and DS. If it goes my way great, if not, ive picked myself up before and ill do it again.

I don't mean to judge. My orginal post was meant to be a serious although not pointed or scathing comment on how lucky we all are having a moan here on our internet. (Note irony of moaning about moaning). Africa has a special place in my heart, and I could cry myself to sleep everynight over the situation in Sub Saharan Africa. Hence my use of that example.

I tried to show a lightheated side in my post "If I am preggers I hereby swear not to whinge and moan about stuff that doesn't matter much at the end of the day." You ever heard a pregnany woman not moan.

If we wrote every post without evoking memories of any tradegy or problem everyone of us had ever experienced in life, we wouldn't have a chat board.

I posted here because it felt more appropriate than the pregnancy board. I avoid the previous miscarriage board as it doesn't speak to me personally and my way of dealing with things. But I felt moved to write, so I wrote my opinion. I welcome all repsonses on it.

which bit of - Africa is a massive great CONTINENT - are you not getting? It's patronising and ignorant.

It can't be that 'dear' in your heart if you can't even name the frigging country

urghhhhhhh why has this thread riled me so much?!

I am hyperventilating. Stop saying preggers. PLEASE. I've got hives and wealds

Weegle, as specified already I was refering to sub sarahan africa. This is the area to which the 1 in 50 mothers die in pregnancy and childbirth. 1 in 8 in some countries. If you would like you know which countries this includes I could also buy you an atlas. Here is a link. Other women doing something for other women www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/28/france.nicolassarkozy1

Juicy12 I shall refer to being preggers or otherwise however I wish. Don't read if you don't like. My linguistics are not under debate here.

whoa, you are a bit defensive aren't you OP? which is slightly amusing as you have promised never to whinge again EVER! You are posting in AIBU, you can expect an avalanche of YABU when you post such a nasty thread.

BTW, my point which you failed to grasp...poor silly you!... was that your FLASH GYM subscription stood out against the rest of your "Oh Lord, you're moaning, there are people dying in Africa" bit in a slightly ironic manner. Do you see?

I know I said I was "OOT" but my headache has lifted, but my irritation has not.

Lady I think the problem is that your OP came across as a bit mean. Perhaps your real message got lost because of the style in which you expressed it?

Its a Friday night - things may get worse

hmmm - think your choice of words/threads to comment on is unfortunate and YAB rather unreasonable. But having said that it is very easy to slip into the habit of moaning and forget to be thankful for what we all have - and therefore I suppose useful to be kept in check by folk such as yourself. But I don't think this applies specifically to MN, pregnancy, UK, the West etc - people just like to have a moan from time to time. Probably not worth moaning about though...

Chegirl,

Her subsequent posts haven't been particularly uplifting either. Massively patronising: "I could buy you an atlas" and nasty to the OP on a thread within the CHILDBIRTH arena who was seeking support. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, actually I'm not...I have a feeling I'm being exactly what the OP is after

Definitely a spiteful thread about a thread, from someone stupid enough to think that "Africa" means only the most deprived parts of sub-Saharan Africa, who is sanctimonious about their poverty stricken plight while boasting about upgrading to a flash gym.

Are you really so ignorant that you can't grasp that many women will be classed as high risk because we have been through a horrendous experience with a previous birth? And that we are all well aware of our own circumstances and risk factors and don't make such decisions lightly?

Just trying to be nice. Mainly because I am on the verge of hysteria and am attempting to calm down a bit

I saw that other thread after I posted and didnt think the women were being moany at all! The OP wanted a birth in a MLU not in a candle strewn yurt.

congratulation on pg,BUT pg are allowed choice over mode of delivery and all being well choice of intervention

i support that

we dont live in africa so the comparison is meaningless. bit like comparing cva mortality in africa to cva mortality in uk

This has touched a personal nerve for me too. I know I am incredibly lucky to have my DD at all, after an extremely traumatic birth and complications afterwards which have left her with possible brain damage. All due to hospital negligence.

I feel really angry that the hospital was so awful. I would have been better off in any of the third world hospitals I have visited, where they at least have the humility to allow relatives stay to care for a patient when they are short staffed.

che

I'm not getting at you, I promise! I hope you're ok I have no idea of your story, and sincerely hope that you realise that my annoyance is not directed at you.

The "plinky plonky ,music" remark in that thread made me see red. Unhelpful, reactive and provocative.

YABU, I had a horrible hospital birth experience with 1st DS. Won't give details as pregnant women reading, but it was so bad that I actually still feel tearful when I think about how bad it was. I felt that the most important day of my life was ruined; developed PND afterwards and really struggled with breast feeding etc.

Women have a right to the best birth experience for them that's possible be that at home or otherwise. The birth of your child, frankly is as important as your wedding day after all, and if somethng isn't going your way you have a right to complain and moan about it.

Of course a healthy child is the most important thing, but giving birth is arguably one of the most important life events a woman will experience and you can't blame someone for feeling gutted if they can't give birth in the way they want, just because they don't always have the same medical facilities elsewhere in the world. And not all hospitals are great. Wait till it's your turn, you might be suprised. Come back and talk then.

who I know you wernt getting at me .

My crap is not related to births anyway.

But talking of that (here we go) I would be very very upset if I couldnt have a home birth. I had one with DS3 and am planning one with DC5.

My reasons are related to my crap. I find medical environments absolutly unbearable. I would always do what was best for my baby but the thought of going anywhere near a hospital terrifies me.

Sod the plinky plonky music, I just dont want to be near all those bleeps, smells, hosptial beds and other reminders.

I would be pretty hurt if someone made snarky comments about my desire to have the birth I want. We all have our reasons dont we?

chegirl no probs am always thinking of you-hope you and the bump are well.

(as a hijack aside am doing the Reading Half Marathon for MS charity but Clic Sargeant are one of the registered so will try to donate any extra to them)

Op YABVVVU.

I am 17 weeks Pregnant, its taken me 5 yrs and 5 Miscarriages to get where i am. I am so so so so happy however i have to get up in the night to go to the toilet 5-6 times, i have horrendous backache, headaches, sickness, i have to inject myself everyday, i am high risk and therefore have to give birth in hospital. I DONT want to, i always wanted a home birth but i have no choice.

I moan about these things it doesnt mean i am not Thankful for finally being pregnant, i feel like the happiest person in the world. And i will moan when the baby is born and it cries for hrs for no reason, when i dont get a wink of sleep etc etc but i will always thank god for giving me our baby. The fact is we are human and moaning is in our nature regardless of wheather there are people worse off then us.

YABU - having a good birth experience matters a great deal because a bad one can damage you for life, both physically and emotionally.

The irony being that the 'women in Africa' probably aren't whingeing about giving birth OP...

YABU