to get so annoyed with some mums to be

[LadyTeasmaid]

Today I find out if I'm preggers. If I am HURRAH! If not, my plan is to upgrade from my local crappy gym to the nice flash private one up the road as a make myself feel better pressie.

I been reading a bit on the preggers board, and it may be hormones (please!) but I'm so angry. Whinging about how they're not allowed a home birth because they're high risk! African woman have a one in 16 chance of dying in childbirth and pregnancy. And we whinge about having to go in a nice clean hospital. Makes me mad. If I am preggers I hereby swear not to whinge and moan about stuff that doesn't matter much at the end of the day.

I would love a homebirth but have never been able to because of preeclampsia. I HAVE moaned on forums many times! Its not so much the homebirth that bothered me it was the fact that things were going wrong and I needed to moan to people who may understand.

"If it is regarding possible pregnancy it is perfectly safe to continue to exercise during pregnancy if one did regularly prior to pregnancy."

Off topic, but be aware that isn't always so. I tried to keep exercising and ignored the groin pain. Which was severe SPD/PGP. Big, big mistake. Exercise can really fuck up your pelvis when pregnant if prone to pelvic problems, and that's less fun than I can describe.

What's all this "Africa" stuff (not just OP but lots of people). I can assure you there are plenty of top notch hospitals in "Africa", not everyone is a starving Somalian you know. And in fact not every Somalian is starving.

How is "Africa" ever going to develop if it is forever tarred with this brush of everyone being starving and all women giving birth in the bush?

As for your original question, I'm not sure exactly what you are referring to but it does annoy me slightly when women expect their birth to go exactly the way they want it to. It usually doesn't. But it doesn't mean women shouldn't "aspire" to having those births.

Thanks Juicy12

WAKE UP DOZY!

I would quite like my baby to stop using my bladder as a trampoline and have been complaining about it to anyone who will listen. This doesn't mean I am not extremely pleased to be pregnant.

Seriously, love, stfu

I agree that we are lucky in the UK to have a high standard of care available during pregnancy and childbirth. I also agree that the most important thing in childbirth is the health of mum and baby. So you have got some people's backs up, but I don't think you are belitting their experience, so YANBU.

Oh thought it was going to be about people who don't look after themselves in pregnancy. Like today as I was in the childrens ward with dd2 and out the window I could see a heavily pregnant woman having a fag in her dressing gown outside the maternity ward..

Made me think 'bet she won't be the one in the childrens ward even though she clearly cares more about fags then her baby'.

Anyway that kind of thing does rile me extensively but there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you somewhere but you still need to vent/moan about your own situation.

Chegirl you have had the worst imaginable happen to you. There is not anything worse is there?? even in Africa..

I cannot compare any of my life experiences to anything in Africa, they do not have clean running water in some parts does that mean I have no right to moan if my coffee is cold in a cafe ?
Hardly comparing apples with apples are we ?

OP, you clearly know nothing of which you speak.

YABVU - when you have been in hospital after giving birth and have a THIRD DEGREE TEAR, it's a bit difficult to think of those in Africa at such a traumatic time. Tearing is traumatic - worse than giving birth IME.

Please don't judge people here with women in various other regions of the world.

Congratulations on your news, Lady T. I don't think YABU.

Well quite. Only last week did I say to a woman sobbing her heart out about her forceps delivery and third degree tear 'Well, at least you're not in Africa'. It cheered her right up and she soon stopped her whinging. Job done.

You are a loon OP, if hospitals are so clean and perfect over here why do thousands die from hospital superbugs including my 5 week old baby who went in with bronchiolitis and 5 days later was dying in ICU from a hospital superbug but I musn't grumble I have a few more kids that managed to dodge the hospital bugs.

You really do come across as very smug OP.

Flippineck, I've misread the OP too. Sorry.

"when you say 'they are high risk' you mean the women are having high risk pregnancies rather than 'home births are high risk'? "

Yes I mean high risk pregnancies. I've read homebirths are just as safe as hospitals for low risk mothers, as much as anyone can be classed low risk that is.

Whoisasking. I donate a lot to various charities, Africa holds a special place for us due to the work DH does there. I will not donate my gym fee in addition to my other things, this was meant to be to make me feel better if I wasn't preggers.

Gizmo, I do think we would should campaign for better care in the uk. See my previous posts, if a hospital isn't clean, kick up a fuss about it. Don't just demand the better hospital. If you get the nice hospital great, but fight for the women who couldn't have this choice.

Re: My preggers, been to doctors, am either preggers or have another unviable egg. Just got to wait a few more weeks to see what happens. Got me folic acid though.

That wasn't really my point, but your posts are giving me a bit of a headache for some reason. And your consistent use of preggers is making my teeth itch, so for that reason...I'm ooot.

girls you are sweet. Yes it is the worse thing ever but I have so much else to be thankful for. Imagine losing a child and having nothing. Thats how I think of it (sometimes).
Thanks for thinking of me, it was nice of you.

I'm sorry if I've missed your point. I do try to read the posts carefully, otherwise wouldn't be much sense in debating and replying.

Surely, the only reason why we have a reasonable medical healthcare system at all is because people were prepared to complain and get things changed?

And why compare to Africa (which part of Africa?) and not to one of the several countries in the world that have a lower infant mortality rate and a lower mortality rate than this country?

Lady if you have been having difficulty getting pregnant it is perfectly understandable that you would feel annoyed at 'whinging' pg women.
But you dont know their stories. Its not reasonable to judge them.
If you are pg (and I hope you are) you may find you are putting unrealistic pressure on yourself to be happy and content about everything.

This can cause depression and feelings of guilt if you dont enjoy every aspect of the pregnancy.

Its fine to moan. Its fine to want things to go a different way even if you know there are far worse things happening all over the place.

AAAArgh still to all the "Africa" references, Stop it! It is a huuuuuge continent with so many different countries, cultures, ways of life etc. Your original post quoted "1 in 16" African women, but I assume that women in South Africa, Egypt, Morocco and Nigeria all have very different experiences.

I am not even someone with any particular strong links to "Africa" but it really grates on me when people assume all the countries are somehow similar.

Ok sorry off topic and rant over.

And really sorry didn't want to demean all the really sad posts from people who have lost babies , chegirl I don't know what happened to you but it must have been very tough by the sounds of things.