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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my DC's to nursery over the Christmas period?

161 replies

Ceebee74 · 18/11/2009 20:19

My nursery is open every day (apart from the bank hols) over the Christmas period, including Christmas Eve. I am working upto and including 23rd Dec and then not back until the 5th January. Dh is also off work for this period aswell.

I know I am definitely going to send them to nursery on Christmas Eve as I will need some space to get organised (we are hosting Christmas lunch this year) but will pick them up sometime after lunch.

I am also considering sending them for maybe a couple of days in between even though me and DH will both be at home. The main reasons for this are that it would give us a chance to do some stuff round the house that desperately needs doing and also, we have no babysitters and have not been out as a couple in the evening since DS1 was born 3.5 years ago (get your violins out ) so the only way we can get some 'couple' time is to use days when the boys are in nursery and we have a day off work at the same time - we might go out for a leisurely lunch, shopping, cinema - but just be able to do what we want at our pace. Also, this is just an aside, we will be paying for the nursery anyway.

However, it does seem a little bit 'wrong', particularly with it being Christmas.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ProfYaffle · 19/11/2009 12:45

Ceebee - slight side issue but you mention you don't have babysitters, have you asked at nursery? We're in the same boat as in no local family so we occasionally have dd1's old keyworker come and babysit for us.

(btw, I'd do the same as you in a heartbeat if we were staying local over xmas)

ProfYaffle · 19/11/2009 12:47

btw, re Xmas Eve, Ceebee is only sending them for the morning while she does her xmas related chores, they'll be home in the afternoon, presumably baking mince pies etc

My family will mostly be spending xmas eve on the M6 driving north

Sidge · 19/11/2009 13:01

Well I'll be working Christmas Eve day so if DH isn't home from sea as planned then mine will be in nursery most of the day!

Luckily he's due home though so he will look after the girls whilst I'm working either side of Christmas. Having said that, having a morning or afternoon to ourselves whilst they are out of the house having fun would be bliss...

worldgonemad72 · 19/11/2009 13:05

i dont think yabu for an odd day over crimbo, my 2 will be going my mums on the 27th for the day but i couldn't let them go anywhere on christmas eve but thats me, if your comfortable sending them and they'll enjoy it then why not.

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 19/11/2009 13:22

All those of you that are talking about your Christmases where you shut the door, watch films, play games and just have a cosy time....sounds heavenly and that was always my fantasy about family Christmases (pretty much like my childhood really). Then DS1 came along and shattered them all I can honestly not see that happening until DS2 is at least 4 and they can play 'nicely' together

Flibberty DS1 fave games are 'how often can I knock my baby bro over in 10 minutes' or 'how often can I snatch the toy away from him and make him cry'

I have wondered about the babysitting at nursery but never got round to broaching the subject - besides all the ones that have known DS1 for a long time and I would trust keep going off and having babies themselves!!

Besides, this is the last year we will be able to do this anyway as DS1 starts school next year so we won't have a nursery to send him too over Christmas

OP posts:
Flibbertyjibbet · 19/11/2009 13:29

(no but the out of school clubs are open between xmas and new year )

Does no one on here work on xmas eve? This year it happens to be on a day that I don't work, but in previous years my ds's went to nursery xmas eve because we were both working!

posieparker · 19/11/2009 13:32

YABU.

choppychopster · 19/11/2009 13:43

Do you think they'd take my DD Ceebee?

Her nursery is closed from 21 Dec - 5 Dec. I'd prefer not to have to use so much annual leave in one chunk and DH can't take much leave over xmas and the new year as it's the busiest time of year at his work.

I'm looking forward to spending some time off with her though and doing lots of nice Christmassy things together. However I'd love to be able to take her into nursery for a day when I was off work and be able to go shopping or have lunch with DH or something.

2babyblues · 19/11/2009 13:49

YANBU! I would too if I had the chance! I think if you have a couple of days to yourselves you appreaciate the children more and can put more energy into having fun with them when they are off.
I am lucky that my parents have mine for the odd night if we have something like a wedding or night out planned.

kickassangel · 19/11/2009 14:24

YANBU, of course.

I think a lot of people on here have missed that you are talking about 2 days out of 10, so that you will be spending 8 days with your dc's - without any kind of break for yourselves.
My daughter loved nursery, and actually, it can be upsetting for them to have such a long break from their usual routine, so totally fine to send them. Not only would dd miss her friends if she wasn't in nursery, but also, she struggled a little to settle back in if she hadn't been for several days. I was a teacher, so even in the summer hols, would still send her one or two days a week, or it was like starting all over again when whe did go back.

I am also dumbfounded by people who seem to think that 'Christmas' starts on Christmas eve & goes on for two weeks! Before teaching, I worked in an office. On Christmas Eve I got off EARLY at 4, then was back in as soon as the bank holidays were over. The extra day for New Year was useful sleep & DIY time.

How much time people spend with their dc's is up to them, but they have no right to be all sanctimonious 'we LIKE our family time' without knowing what your life is really like. Personally, I have very clear memories of the boredom of Christmas & wishing ti were all over whne I was young.

fernie3 · 19/11/2009 14:31

My son will be going over the christmas holiday period, not christmas eve but probably 2 other days out of the holiday.
No real reason, I want to do some shopping (he will enjoy nursery alot more than the shops!) plus my husband is off work so it will be nice for us to spend time going out (ok we will still have the youngest but shes no trouble).

I am a SAHM so have no reason to put him in nursery at all as he isnt yet old enough for his free nursery place BUT we send him 2 mornings a week so that I have time to do things and as people have said we use it as childcare as we have no one else to help.

YANBU have a good time and a nice holiday!

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 19/11/2009 14:54

Kickassangel you know I should have put that in my OP - I have just worked it out and from (and including) Xmas Eve until I go back to work on the 5th Jan, that is 12 days in a row - and out of those 12 days, I am thinking about putting the boys in nursery for 2.5 or 3 days. It does make it sound much more reasonable I think.

Is there really anyone who would spend 12 days in a row with their children without a break and really really enjoy it (apart from when you are on holiday which is different)??

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 19/11/2009 15:05

ceebee, don't kick yourself for not being so specific about how many days of childcare you were proposing to use

those of us who didn't have a knee jerk reaction of "argghh, childcare at xmas , she mustn't like spending time with her children..." knew exactly what you meant

megapixels · 19/11/2009 15:27

I don't feel strongly enough about this to say if YABU or not as I don't know your individual situ with regards to your child or nursery or whatever. There are so many factors to consider. But I wouldn't do it. If we're celebrating a major holiday like Christmas (which we don't btw) it wouldn't feel right if the kids were out at nursery. I think I would want them to be part of the preparations and celebrations, even if it means that they just get in the way. I have so many memories of me with tiny dd1 up at night "helping" prepare for Eid.

As for the point about spending time as a couple, we don't have family here nor do we use babysitters. We just spend time together cuddling on the sofa, watching a movie etc. when the kids have gone to bed. Been doing that for the last 3.5 years, don't really miss going out. Weekends we spend as a family.

katechristie · 19/11/2009 16:24

haven't read any replies, but YANBU at all IMHO. We don't have babysitters on hand either, and getting any couple time or essential DIY done isn't easy when you have DCs. Am hoping all replies are supportive of you, but the fact is nobody would think you were being in anyway unreasonable to post on here saying "we're thinking of getting a babysitter for a couple of evenings over the Chrsitmas period" or "the DCs are spending the afternoon with their grandparents". You trust the nursery staff, presumably your DCs enjoy their time there, everybody wins. Hope you enjoy your time whatever you do with it.

mistletoekisses · 19/11/2009 16:48

To the OP. YANBU. Not one bit. Enjoy your day!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 19/11/2009 17:41

megapixels but that depends on you having evenings free and both being in doesnt it. Even if DH is here he is often doing bills or there is housework to do. We rarely get time to 'sit down' or cuddle.

choppy that is a particularly long christmas break

ceebee your DS1 has read the same 'fun games for three year olds book'!

megapixels · 19/11/2009 18:27

Yes peppapig, that's why I said I don't know enough to know if you are being U or not. Doesn't look like you are. Hope you have a good time .

cookielove · 19/11/2009 19:07

My point was a few pages back, for those who asked i work in a nursery, and my actual orignal point was refering to my own nursery which is for only uni staff and students, so knowing that the uni is closed, for say a whole week before the nursery is, i know that not all the students need their children in, (the parents are usually shopping, the reason we know this is that they have to tell us where they are e.g off site)

I haven't really taken any holiday this year, and have done lots of overtime due to many reason, mostly due to lost of staff sickness.

So its nice personally for me to have the time off and not need to worry that i am causing staffing issues with my abscence because the whole nursery is closed.

Bonsoir · 19/11/2009 19:14

I think it is that any family would feel the need to use a nursery over the Christmas holidays. It signals, to me, that that family is overburdened with commitments outside the family and that its work/life balance isn't in good shape.

But better to put a child in nursery for the day than to be overwhelmed by stress.

ManicMother7777 · 19/11/2009 19:24

YANBU! Just do it! Your dc will have a great time and so will you, and you have paid for the nursery anyway. Mine went to nursery even when I had days off. The thing is, pre-school children are just such hard work. Not only did I send them to nursery but we also had several holidays without them. Looking back I can't believe I did that, they are now 9 & 12 and I would never leave them now for more than a day or two, but now they're older I'm not so exhausted and a I get a good night's sleep! And I enjoy them more now they're real people and you can have a conversation. When they're pre-school you just need a break! And you're lucky to have the opportunity, make the most of it.

honie · 19/11/2009 20:15

We drove out and had a really romantic, quiet lunch just after christmas last year, th DC were with the childminder. I love spending time with them and very rarely have time other than work away from them so I felt no guilt, just relaxed!

Go for it!

I wouldn't do it for christmas eve, but thats just me! I worked it last year and went shopping after that whilst my dad looked after them, this year I plan to do all the things we missed last year

bluejeans · 20/11/2009 08:11

Manicmother - totally agree

theressomethingaboutmarie · 20/11/2009 08:15

I haven't read the rest of the responses but my thoughts are that you should absolutely do this. Take some time out for just you and your husband and enjoy yourselves!

GColdtimer · 20/11/2009 08:23

YANBU. And responses like "don't you like your children" really piss me off. You are thinking of sending them to nursery for a couple of days in between all the madness of chrismtas, not shipping them off somewhere awful for the whole holiday.

Take the time and don't feel bad - you will feel better for it.