to send my DC's to nursery over the Christmas period?

[Ceebee74]

My nursery is open every day (apart from the bank hols) over the Christmas period, including Christmas Eve. I am working upto and including 23rd Dec and then not back until the 5th January. Dh is also off work for this period aswell.

I know I am definitely going to send them to nursery on Christmas Eve as I will need some space to get organised (we are hosting Christmas lunch this year) but will pick them up sometime after lunch.

I am also considering sending them for maybe a couple of days in between even though me and DH will both be at home. The main reasons for this are that it would give us a chance to do some stuff round the house that desperately needs doing and also, we have no babysitters and have not been out as a couple in the evening since DS1 was born 3.5 years ago (get your violins out ) so the only way we can get some 'couple' time is to use days when the boys are in nursery and we have a day off work at the same time - we might go out for a leisurely lunch, shopping, cinema - but just be able to do what we want at our pace. Also, this is just an aside, we will be paying for the nursery anyway.

However, it does seem a little bit 'wrong', particularly with it being Christmas.

AIBU?

I'm in the no grandparents locally boat too, btw.

But if couple time outside of the house was that important to me I'd ask one of my friend's to babysit. Surely it's better to go out once the DC are in bed rather than to waste precious annual leave not actually spending it with them?

DH and I have plenty of couple time in the house though in the evenings, is that not usual?

ceebee it is quite scary isnt it. Have you cracked the toilet training?

Molly Watching movies with popcorn? Lovely - yes. If my two did this fantastic. In reality DS (3.5) will not watch a film for more than 5 minutes. DD (14 months) would steal all the popcorn. They would both cry then wrestle on the floor til one got hurt. Then one would get over tired. I obviously love them very much but to just have a couple of days to relax, sleep, actually talk to DH...

Spokette selfish and self absorbed . Obviously. Evenings? What are they then. DH is often at work. I often have to catch up on work as I have left early to pick them up from nursery. Do you ever have time to yourself - ever - can I ask?

If certain people on this thread want I can just admit I am obviously an inferior mother / should not have had my children / you are far better at all of this / I am selfish if you like and be done with it?

Aw peppa, don't get upset. Seriously.

It's AIBU, people are going to disagree.

Try to take it with a pinch of salt.

you don't need to justify your decisions to anyone.if you and dp are happy and relaxed that overall makes for ambient family atmosphere

I am liking Peppas last post - I will admit that having my 2 at home is hard work.

Oh the fantasy of sitting watching Christmas movies eating popcorn.....ha, not chance with a 3.5 year old and a 12 month old!!

So I will admit to everything that Peppa has - obviously I am just a crap mother who hates her children

(Peppa - yes we cracked the toilet training. We went cold turkey on nappies one day when he had just turned 3- after nursery were dropping huge hints about it - and DS1 got it immediately! He has hardly had any accidents which proves my theory that the longer you leave it, the easier it is ) What about you?

I wouldn't.

TBH, no I don't think time with your DH is as important - I love my DP, but the kids overshadow that by far.

We both work, which means prolonged (i.e. anything more than a weekend) time off with the kids is as rare as rocking horse shit.

But your choise, it won't damage your kids.

I agree with bang and scottish. It IS AIBU. And it is MN.

I was being flippant. Personally I would not put the children in childcare when I am not working........I want to see them and want them to learn that they have to fit in around family life (which often they don't due to parental guilt about working) BUT really, each to their own. Don't beat yourself up about it.

and ladybla, I know you are not a troll

seriously i cannot get haircut/colour with kids hollering

imagine the chaosa
put that doooooooooooown
no dont touch bleach/tint/shampoo
dont touvh the mirror
oh mind out for the ghd
dont bang windows

soemtimes i need some peace fuck it that is what nursery is for,and i pay so why not

well my kids are older- 6 and 2.5 so watching movies is more do-able.

In fact, I have just bought the polar express and some microwaveable popcorn for this exact purpose. It may all ends in tears and they may both be in nursery by the afternoon!

But I am a VERY optimistic mother!

YANBU. DC will probably enjoy. Doesn't mean you are selfish - just a human being!

Sometimes my DS goes to nursery and I have a day off too.

ladyblablah our dd often goes to her godmothers(they are like second parents to dd) so that i can do some housework, peaceful shopping etc, i know that not everyone has this advantage but I but if they did they would sure hell take it! There is nothing wrong with a bit of me time, i am a STAHM and with dd 24/7 so do appreciate it when her godmother takes her off me for a bit. As i dont drive either its nice for dd to be in a different environment and her godmother takes her to all sorts of nice places that i find difficult to get to by bus.

My nursery actually only charges for christmas eve if people request it, so your not loosing out.

I would be horrified if my nursery decided to open a few days between christmas and new year, (someone mentioned this) i think i would refuse to work it.

I also think that is true, that sometimes do need a break from nursery, it can be exhausting for some children

I'm a single mum and i've worked ever since my DD was 3 and started nursery school, now she's 6 i'm a full time student, she's used to going to breakfast/after school clubs and summer clubs. At least once or twice a week she goes in either for a session when i'm not at college or an hour or so longer than when I finish. I think it's important to have time to yourself whether you're single or in a relationship and I don't believe kids suffer, in fact I think they benefit from more relaxed parents and the stimulation of these sessions and activities. I don't think the OP is BU at all and it makes perfect sense to me. I might worry they will be the only children in on xmas eve? But that wd be my only concern.

some nurseries only close public holidays.parents do have work commitments over xmas too you know.public sector workers are on duty/on call over xmas

Both my DH and I work fulltime and by the time we actually sit down in the evening it is after 2100 hours.

We still manage to find time to talk Monday to Friday plus we spend a lot of time together at the weekends. Just because you work, does not mean that you can never find time to spend with your husband or children. You have to make the effort. For me, making the effort to spend time with my husband or myself does not include packing the children off to nursery when I have annual leave.

banganddirtisgone dont worry - I am

Just thought it would be simpler to just agree with some of the ruder posters!

Cookielove but surely lots of people will actually need to work - health professionals, social workers, people who work in shops...what do they do with their children if it closes?

i dont want to squeeze dp time after day at work.that is why happy to use nursery to get us some quality time

hmmm I think YANBU - your DC, your money, your DH, your choice - nothing wrong with wanting some me/adult time!

On the other hand, I am a tad anoyed my CM has decided not to work the whole 2 weeks of xmas, luckily both firdays are bank hols or I would be mightily screwed, my mum will be here the 2nd week luckily (from xmas eve). think she saw my face and said she would have DD2 for me on the Tues/wed before xmas - I will be working and very busy week for us!

YANBU in the slightest!

I have almost always worked between Xmas & New Year due to having no holidays left - in fact this is the first year I can remember I will be off on Xmas Eve!

Ex-p was always off - works on building sites & they shut down over Xmas period..sometimes he kept DC at home with him, sometimes he didnt & they went to CM, if he had other stuff to do. It never bothered me either way, and frankly the DC were normally quite excited about seeing their CM, showing off Xmas presents etc.

I dont think it matters whether you want to spend your child free day off doing useful stuff around the house, spending some time with your DH, go out and have your hair done/shop etc, or frankly just sitting at home in your PJs with the remains of the Christmas biscuits watching repeats of Jeremy Kyle ATEOTD, its a few hours on a couple of days - really no big deal. Please dont beat yourself up over it!

spokette - actually it is hard. DH works odd hours as a tradesman and works all day saturday some evenings and often has to pop out on a sunday. I am an academic and until recently was finishing my phd. I often have to work in the evenings, just the way the job is. I am in bed by 9.30 as am up by 5.30 (I say at 9.45 as am distracted by MN )

Seriously though - isn't it about balance? If they are home 10 days then what harm is one or two days especially when they are small and so demanding? I love my children and spending time with them but it is very hard to genuinely enjoy it as they are exhausting. One or two days to get my haircut, sort out the clothes in their room, oorganise things...it makes such a difference. Doesnt mean I dont miss them - and they would have late starts and early pick ups...but those few hours...

Of course YANBU, it sounds like you've planned a lovely day out with your DP. Everyone is entitled to have time to do fun things without their children.

I have a week off in December when DD is at school. Admittedly I only work 3 days and only in school hours but for one day that week I'm going to pay my CM to have her after school so I can spend the whole day shopping, and perhaps see a film on my own, and come home after dinner, which I will pay the CM to give her.

I'm not going to buy her anything either, it's all about me, for one day, and I can't bloody wait

Ceebee - thats fab! Well done him (and you). DS is dry here too (well in the day). Very topical actually because nursery did most of the work (not over christmas or when I was having a day off I might add .

Actually i work in a uni nursery so that doesn't apply to me, which is why i would be horrified if the nursery opened on those days.

But i still wouldn't want to work those days if i worked in a nursery that catered for those kind of jobs, because i like the time off.

Two years ago my nursery use to close around the 18th of dec and then opened back in jan, in line with the students we now are open up to the 24th even though we know the uni is closed, and we are usually pretty full to the closing day.

huwedwards - I agree, its not as important as time with the children but that is not what she is saying. The majority of time will be with the children but a couple of days or so with DH. Do we not have a responsibility to maintain our relationships for the sake of our children? I know when DH and I finally have a bit of time together then we are much happier, relaxed etc. The children benefit.