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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my DC's to nursery over the Christmas period?

161 replies

Ceebee74 · 18/11/2009 20:19

My nursery is open every day (apart from the bank hols) over the Christmas period, including Christmas Eve. I am working upto and including 23rd Dec and then not back until the 5th January. Dh is also off work for this period aswell.

I know I am definitely going to send them to nursery on Christmas Eve as I will need some space to get organised (we are hosting Christmas lunch this year) but will pick them up sometime after lunch.

I am also considering sending them for maybe a couple of days in between even though me and DH will both be at home. The main reasons for this are that it would give us a chance to do some stuff round the house that desperately needs doing and also, we have no babysitters and have not been out as a couple in the evening since DS1 was born 3.5 years ago (get your violins out ) so the only way we can get some 'couple' time is to use days when the boys are in nursery and we have a day off work at the same time - we might go out for a leisurely lunch, shopping, cinema - but just be able to do what we want at our pace. Also, this is just an aside, we will be paying for the nursery anyway.

However, it does seem a little bit 'wrong', particularly with it being Christmas.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 18/11/2009 20:57

The OP talks about a couple of days.

You're talking about her not spending any thime with them

scottishmummy · 18/11/2009 20:58

yes ladyblah all us nursery parents hate our children,in fact love to leave them with reprobate staff and galavant off

great you got to the bottom of that one sherlock

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 18/11/2009 20:58

Sorry that was to your first post.

Of course I want to spend time with them - and will be spending plenty of extra time that I wouldn't normally be spending with them....but would also quite like to spend some time with my DH aswell (or is that not as important? )

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 18/11/2009 20:58

she didn't say she didn't want to spend any time, you dimwit

if nursery is not closing on non-Bank hols, she will have to pay whether the kids attend or not

what is wrong having a bit o "couple time" for a few days during the daytime, the family will be together all the other days and all evening

I expect you are one of those who condemn people who leave their children with doting grandparents while they have a dirty weekend away ?

scottishmummy · 18/11/2009 21:00

we book meal,etc leave children in nursery.bliss

LadyBlaBlah · 18/11/2009 21:00

I am one too. And I look forward to days off so I can see them all day.

Genuinely don't understand why you would not want to spend your days off with them - noone answered it yet?

nigglewiggle · 18/11/2009 21:01

I wouldn't do it, but neither would I send my child 4 days a week when I'm at home or send my child 2 weeks before I started work. But we're all different.

AnyFucker · 18/11/2009 21:01

read the thread ladyblahblah

btw, are you a troll ?

LadyBlaBlah · 18/11/2009 21:02

Yes, you have to pay whatever, so why would you feel you have to 'use' it up.

Perhaps they would like a rest from nursery too?

LadyBlaBlah · 18/11/2009 21:03

How predictable - post in AIBU and then get annoyed when people say you are. Next someone will shout troll !

scottishmummy · 18/11/2009 21:03

i cant get a haircut,glass of wine,time with dp with children scampering around.so put them in nursery.i already pay for ft places so why not

easier to get hair cut,meal,theatre if they in nursery

LadyBlaBlah · 18/11/2009 21:04

Oh too late, they already did

spokette · 18/11/2009 21:06

When my DTS were at nursery, I did not send them in on Christmas Eve and shock, horror, I did not send them to nursery at all over the holiday period because we wanted to spend time together as a family. This stuff about me time and time with your husband, why can't you have that when they have gone to bed?

Children at nursery are there for around 48-51 weeks of the year. If parents cannot stomach the companionship of their off-spring for a few continous days over the festive period when they are not at work, then they are selfish and self-absorbed imho.

TheFallenMadonna · 18/11/2009 21:08

I also like to spend some time with DH and just DH. Mind you, I "genuinely don't understand" why someone else would not want to do that (assuming they have a DH/DP) or at least get why other people would want to. So I guess I'm as unimaginative as you...

scottishmummy · 18/11/2009 21:08

well sometimes i want me/us time and happily use nursery to get it

TheFallenMadonna · 18/11/2009 21:09

at "as a family".

For some reason, it's a phrase that just signposts a post I'm really not going to agree with...

QandA · 18/11/2009 21:10

YABU

Christmas Eve is a special time. The staff will be desperate to be home, as someone mentioned earlier, there will be very few children there. I don't get the paid for it, use it approach to childcare.

alicet · 18/11/2009 21:10

Nothing to feel guilty about at all. We do this not infrequently actually as we too are living a long way from parents although we do go out in evenings by getting friends to babysit or paying one of the nursery girls. Have you thought about approaching one of the girls at nursery to babysit by the way? Lots do at our nursery and you have the added benefit of them knowing and getting on with your children and that they are crb / firstaid checked etc

Ladyblablah nothing wrong with wanting to spend a bit of time as a couple as well as with your children. Have you NEVER left yours with anyone else ever so that you can do something for yourself or as a couple? If not then that is absolutely your right to do so but neither is it strange / neglectful / unreasonable for the op to want to spend a couple of days quality time with her dh.

scottishmummy · 18/11/2009 21:12

yes nursery is a service.i pay i use.that is how any commercial transaction works.

Kewcumber · 18/11/2009 21:12

On the rare occasions I have left DS at CM's when I'm home I generally take him in late and pick him up early so he has a nice relaxed day too day too (oddly enough he rather likes going to CM, also likes going to pre-school ).

Personally I find a long break from CM or nursery rather unsettles him and a day or two here or there isn;t going to do any harm.

BTW we are the only country I know who manages to celebrate Xmas for 10 days. Its ridiculous - anywhere else would have two days for Xmas (one on US) and another 1 for New Year, they wouldn't down tools for virtually two bleedin' weeks.

mollythetortoise · 18/11/2009 21:13

i say fair enough but I wouldn't send my two if I was off.
I would use the time for nice chrimassy days out or watching xmas movies with popcorn or whatever and I'd really enjoy it.

I will actually be working on xmas eve until noon and in between Xmas and new year for a couple of days but their dad isn't and I would be very cross indeed if he decided to send them to nursery rather than spending time with them doing fun stuff.

But, your choice and i wouldn't judge any parent at my nursery that did send their kids in. I'd assume they were working like me.

bangandthedirtisgone · 18/11/2009 21:14

It's not really an AIBU question.

I wouldn't do it - we spend enough time working without the DC as it is. Can't think of anything I'd rather not do than use nursery for something other than work.

But I'm not you, and you feel differently.

Your life, do what is right for you.

alicet · 18/11/2009 21:14

Absolutely agree with fallenmadonna.

Just as important to put time into your relationship as your family. And while spending time together when the children are in bed is all well and good it is not the same as having a day doing stuff as a couple that you just can't do with children.

Actually I find it really difficult to relate to people who don't get this. you odn't have to want it for yourself but to not even understand at all is odd. And often a view spouted by people who have loads of family locally and they don't mind leaving children with grandparents for a couple of hours once or twice a week to get stuff done!

AnyFucker · 18/11/2009 21:15

you don't understand irony then ladybla ?

I think what people were reacting to was the nastiness of your post, not the fact that you personally would not send your kids to nursery over xmas

other people on this thread managed to get their contrary opinion across without resorting to "do you not like your children or something?"

pranma · 18/11/2009 21:17

Must you? how sad.