I find it scary insofar as there was none of this coaching and prepping when I was an 11 year old. We merely all took the test in primary school, the staff had a good idea of who would pass for a grammar school and these parents viewed possible schools in anticipation of a successful result.
The harder part was not passing the 11+ but passing the selection interview, which in my case involved an interview between the Headmistress and I, then the Head and my mother, following which the Head interviewed us both together. We both also had to prove regular attendance at church as mine was a faith school. Regardless of this I wasn't coached as to what to say or how to behave. I was just expected to behave with manners and be myself.
The grammars available in my city were all pretty much as good as one another and it would normally be just a matter of personal preference as to which parents chose. The only problem with regard to choice for those of my age was that the following year these grammars would have to either move out of the city, turn comprehensive, close down when my year group reached 18 or become independent. This was as a result of a change in law by the Labour government of the time.
I feel that admission to grammar school was a lot easier in my day. My school was in a predominantly working class area where many parents didn't have the funds or education to coach their children so IME we gained our places on merit and not on our parents' ability to pay for coaching or to prep us at home. I feel sorry for todays grammar school applicants, especially the bright children who can't compete with those of richer, better educated parents. So yes, the forum is scary, but probably for good reason.