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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's ok to let 3 month old 'watch' tv?

140 replies

McSnail · 17/11/2009 13:30

My three month old child is mesmerised by the images on tv - it can keep her occupied for half hour slots, which is an absolute godsend. It means that I can do things like go for a wee, make a cup of tea, get dressed and clean the top layer of filth from the tip that my flat has become since having a baby (you know how it is)

Anyway - bloke got all pissed off today about this (he generally thinks tv is the devil, but it doesn't stop him watching it when there's something on that HE likes)

Muttered something about how he doesn't want to poison her with 'that shite' - yes, it was 'Loose Women' so he does have a point - but he's not the one who spends hours entertaining and breastfeeding her..

OP posts:
wizbitwaffle · 17/11/2009 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
McSnail · 17/11/2009 13:39

Cheers. I feel better now. Vindicated. )

OP posts:
Naetha · 17/11/2009 13:40

When he is the sole carer for her (I'm guessing he's out most of the day) then he can control how much TV she watches.

You're there, your rules.

TV is not the devil, any more than cake is - it's fantastic in moderation, and you will soon learn what moderation means to you.

ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 13:40

IMHO I think it is too young but then I was chatting to DH yesterday about how DS1 loved to watch the washer go around while holding a wooden spoon.

sweetnitanitro · 17/11/2009 13:42

I used to leave DD in front of The Blue Planet while I had a shower and as far as I can tell she enjoyed it . Would it be better to let your DD sit and scream while you go for a wee/put the kettle on/have a shower?

BonjourIvresse · 17/11/2009 13:45

YANBU, as you say your man isn't at home all day with her. Just don't tell him that you do it.

NietinvlanderenAUB · 17/11/2009 13:46

I understand that there is some evidence that TV is damaging to such young children. The problem is it gives them more info than they can handle so they learn to "switch off" to avoid being overstimulated. This hinders brain development.

So I would be cautious about your lo watching TV.

BonjourIvresse · 17/11/2009 13:56

maybe Nietin, but if the OP is a lot less stressed , surely that can only be beneficial for her baby?

Francasaysrelax · 17/11/2009 13:58

To be honest it's never occurred to me to put my infants in front of the telly...
I did watch lots of tv while breastfeeding though (fond memories of Escape to the country emoticon)

Francasaysrelax · 17/11/2009 13:59

I agree that if that's the only way to get 30 mins of freedom then go for it!

KeithTalent · 17/11/2009 13:59

yabvu

tv for under 2s is damaging.

there are many studies on this.

grumblinalong · 17/11/2009 14:08

I have two experiences on this. Dunno which one is the better.

DS1 watched a moderate amount of cbeebies from a young age because I had to write essays and stuff and he is a total telly addict now. He will sit there and you can talk to him for a solid 15 minutes and he will not hear a word. He is very good at concentrating on things but a bit ignorant.

DS2 didn't watch much tv, I wasn't studying and we did loads of physical stuff when he was a baby because I got fat. He is not at all interested in any tv apart from The bloody Wiggles. His concentration is appalling but he will always respond.

YANBU to want a shower so overall YANBU I'd say.

diddl · 17/11/2009 14:09

Think at that age mine had a "baby gym" that kept them occupied.

marthastewart · 17/11/2009 14:14

I think that TV- at this age- is best avoided to be honest. As somebody has posted - there are studies on the effects it has on very young children - would avoid any long exposure before age two and then ration it out.

Also may be better to have pre recorded or dvd programmes rather than whatever the channel want to fire at the children that day. This may also cut out probs with advertising.

Children do suffer in terms of concentration and ability to do "Deep Learning" from exposure to TV.

I understand that it is useful to get a break but think kids can be taught to be more resourceful and entertain themselves.

you · 17/11/2009 14:33

Hmm I'm going to say YANBU

But I often had the TV when my DD was 6 mo, while feeding/ changing her etc, which tbh is about as close to 'watching'the TV aq baby is likely to get.

I totally sympathise with not being able to do anything for yourself also. My DD would never have sat happily on a mat or under a baby gym, and I couldn't put her down for more than 1 minute. Literally. So whatever gives you a short break is okay IMO.

FWIW I stopped the background telly by the time she was 5 months and happier to sit on the floor/ roll over etc and I often got 10/15 min spurts to myself. Now it only goes on for a short time on Wed afternoons for 'Timmy Time' when I look after a friend's DD who's 3.

And also IM(not that knowledgable)O, Loose Women is probably one of the best shows to plok her in front of if you must- just peiople talking, no fast moving images (apart from the adverts) or sudden bursts of noise which I do think could cause sensory overload in a young baby. Don't beat yourself up

you · 17/11/2009 14:34

Sorry, had the TV on when my DD was 3 mo...

GibbonInARibbon · 17/11/2009 14:49

I never turned my TV on till DD was 2 and now it's limited. Studies have shown it really is not recommended for babies and young children. Also affects language development too.

Not trying to be mean btw but you may not have realised how damaging it can be.

ScarlettCrossbones · 17/11/2009 14:54

Agree with Gibbon. I think it can be the start of a slippery slope exposing them to tv at this age. It really is totally unnecessary. Why take the chance, with all the studies showing how bad it is for babies' development? For the sake of a pee in peace?! What did mothers do before wall-to-wall tv all day ? they coped!

Some studies actually recommend no tv till age 3, but 2 is the general consensus. I'm not saying my kids watched zero at this age, but 20-30 mins per week is all I was/am happy with.

gonnabehappy · 17/11/2009 15:00

Hmmm I used to sit mine in front of the washing machine in the days it was in the kitchen...they would watch it going round for a good length of time! Nowadays though my washing machine is not in the main house and it would be cold...so yes I would use the television sometimes! Think the idea of using a nature type dvd (Blue Sea etc) is fab.

And..as a (sort of) child ps) yes, watching television too much too young is a bad idea...as soon as your babe understands some speech I would cut it right down. Will be harder to cut it down as soon as they like certain programmes.

Easier then to chat and do if you see what I mean anyway!

To be honest I belong to the school of 'if it gets you through the day without crying/screaming then go for it'. A stressed mum is likely to 'do more harm' than half an hour of TV.

Jem27 · 17/11/2009 15:01

YANBU. My son is three months old, he loves his playmat, bouncy chair with toys and just watching me pull faces but he still likes to watch a bit of TV every now and then and its handy to be able to quickly eat a sandwich while hes looking at it.

I wouldnt plonk him in front of it all the time but if it gives you a chance to get a few bits done then I would carry on.

tiktok · 17/11/2009 15:09

Sorry - half an hour TV is too much for a three mth old, and there is a lot of research on this.

A few minutes here and there - fine.

The TV is not interactive, and babies need interaction...someone responding to them and reducing stimulation when the baby indicates he needs it, and matching the baby's responses and expressions. A baby cannot move away from too much stimulation, and can only process a little at a time. The 'mesmerising' you note could be a desperate attempt to cut down on the over-load of stimulation.

Too much TV at a time when the brain is still developing is not good.

There are some references and discussion documents here:

www.literacytrust.org.uk/talktoyourbaby/tvnews.html

Even background TV is not good for under-twos.

Francasaysrelax · 17/11/2009 15:33

Yes, tv is bad for little ones.

But Mc needs a bit of a break. Perhaps she has already tried all the baby entertainment equipment on the market, from baby gym to bouncing chair. Perhaps her baby doesn't nap during the day.
Sometimes a woman's basic needs for showering, going to the toilet or having a snack can be as important as research.
And lets hope that the baby learns to entertain herself asap!

tiktok · 17/11/2009 15:38

Yes - all mothers need a break!
But it doesn't take 30 mins to go to the loo.

There need to be ways to have a break that don't involve the baby watching TV for this amount of time.

Kamikatze · 17/11/2009 15:43

I did this with my son many years ago, when he was between 6 months and 2 years. I always felt guilty about it. He became very interested in film and media later on, and is now a film student...can't help wondering if the early TV watching influenced him?

MaMight · 17/11/2009 16:06

This thread is worthy of Netmums. It is not helpful to give the OP fluffy reassurances that whatever she does is fine because "I did it and it was fine".

I had Amoebic Dysentry and I was fine, but I don't go around recommending that everyone should try it.

TikTok speaks sense.