To think it's ok to let 3 month old 'watch' tv?

[McSnail]

My three month old child is mesmerised by the images on tv - it can keep her occupied for half hour slots, which is an absolute godsend. It means that I can do things like go for a wee, make a cup of tea, get dressed and clean the top layer of filth from the tip that my flat has become since having a baby (you know how it is)

Anyway - bloke got all pissed off today about this (he generally thinks tv is the devil, but it doesn't stop him watching it when there's something on that HE likes)

Muttered something about how he doesn't want to poison her with 'that shite' - yes, it was 'Loose Women' so he does have a point - but he's not the one who spends hours entertaining and breastfeeding her..

sigh...
Good clarification, tiktok...the 'bad' thing about forums is the lack of conversational nuance...

Yes, I do agree that a half hour of tv for a 3 month old is excessive. I guess what I don't like is that this is ONE more thing parents have to feel like shit about...you plunk your kid in front of CBeebies for a bit to give yourself a break, and you feel guilty for a week because you're convinced they're going to have brain damage. I worry about people who read all of these studies and take them as bible truth, and drive themselves insane over it, or make rash decisions because some scientist somewhere proclaimed it in some newspaper so 'it must be true!'.

On the flip side, I cringe at the thought of all baby tv all day, 24/7. A bit frightening again to think about parents who think that because it's baby tv,geared for babies and preschoolers, it must be good, so let's watch all day long!

Sigh... sorry, tiktok...I am a big ol' champion for a good and bloody debate, but I don't want to offend or seem judgmental! You've brought up some excellent points...we agree more than we don't!

I let my baby watch TV - in short bursts of 10 mins here and there. He also "enjoys" the news with me in the morning whilst I have a cup of coffee. Am I now a bad mum. hell, I must be, check out my user name .

The poor OP just needed a break and found the TV calming for her baby - doesn't mean that she will go out and leave the TV to babysit.

By the way, my SiL put my nephew in front of TV from literally days old. It is amazing the amount of TV her family watch, but he has just gone off to start his degree at Bath. Not that he wouldn't have had he not been sqaure eyed. I think moderation is key. Don't us mums have enough to feel guilty about.

I think guilt is self imposed, so it's up to the person whether or not they want to feel guilty about something.

Someone's desire to not feel guilty shouldn't be a factor in a discussion based on research and experience.

You are probably right zazizoma, but just because someone feels guilt, doesn't mean they actually have anything to feel guilty about. I'm a Catholic, guilt comes with the holy water they throw over you at 3 months.

No one can 'make' anyone feel guilty....you have to acquiesce in it!

Don't feel guilty if you think you haven't done anything wrong.

If you find out that something you did is not that great, but you didn't know at the time, then why feel guilty? No one can know everything. We all do things we would like to go back and change. That's part of life.

I'm not convinced that 'half an hour is too long for a baby to go without interaction from anyone else'

Bollocks

Loads of babies will spend half an hour or more on their own, either in their cots or prams, and have done for generations.

Your research regarding the ill-effects of television watching cannot be extrapolated to any time spent alone.

tiktok your link is good, but you are reading far more into it than is actually there.

Indeed, you seem to have missed this nugget: "an apparently negative relationship between TV viewing and cognitive development disappeared when she factored in the mother?s education status and household income ? parents? education and finances mattered more. ?TV viewing is an outgrowth of other characteristics of the home environment that lead to lower test scores?, said Schmidt. Other research suggests these include less mother-and-baby interaction and less reading to children."

So is it the TV itself, or the kind of parenting that matters?

I'm not advocating TV for babies, I'm saying the research is not conclusive, and certainly doesn't mean mothers are meant to spend 24/7/52 chattering away to the baby.

Poor mcsnail. I don't think YABU at all. And I don't think you should feel guilty. Seems like there are some very perfect mothers on here but we can't all be like that.

I couldn't see any evidence in the studies linked to that TV is actually harmful or "overstimulating" but didn't read all of them in detail. Seemed to me that they pretty much all agree that it's not that TV is bad, but that when TV replaces human interaction, that's bad.

Clearly you are not dumping your baby in front of the TV all day and ignoring her, and I am sure she will be more than fine!!

I had no qualms with the TV being on when DS was a baby if he was in the room with me and it was something I was watching. However I wouldn't physically move him in front of the TV to watch it, he would be wherever he was, doing whatever he was doing and the TV would just happen to be on at the same time whilst I watched it. If I left him in the room on his own whilst I was in another room doing something else the TV went off.

Actually, when I thought about those links again (and they are only press reports, not the actual research...) the problem with TV that they are reporting is that it distracts the parent, who then talks to the child much less when the TV is on.

Which got me thinking - the thing that most distracts me is reading. Does anyone want to ban reading in front of children?

Just sayin'

The thing is there are loads of other things which mean you talk less to your child, not just talking. What about reading, listening to the radio, talking on the phone, being on the computer etc? I doubt it's all down to TV. Should we stop doing all those things as well?

"This may also cut out probs with advertising."

Am ROLFing at this, marthastewart- perhaps OPs 3 month old will now refuse to poo in anything but pampers nappies

Mcsnail, there are lots of studies which prove that lots of things are bad for children. If you adhered to them all, you would crack up in about 3 weeks.

YANBU.

Clearly you should wait till DH comes home before going for a wee.
PS top tip: my 3 month old recommends Tom & Jerry

Nice to see the return of humour here - my top tip for infant tv (based on old old experiences) is snooker! Do they still have that on in the afternoons? Worked a treat - worked for the cats too! Bliss....

Nail on the head there - the links were press reports and contained outlines of some very good research - but as someone who earns a living doing research I am very aware of how naff some of it is. And...I am quite sure that the news that it is good to talk to your infant has reached everyone here; it is just that some of us are not up to that 24/7. I wasn't.

I have lost all my humour after reading this thread. I now want to cry.