To think it's ok to let 3 month old 'watch' tv?

[McSnail]

My three month old child is mesmerised by the images on tv - it can keep her occupied for half hour slots, which is an absolute godsend. It means that I can do things like go for a wee, make a cup of tea, get dressed and clean the top layer of filth from the tip that my flat has become since having a baby (you know how it is)

Anyway - bloke got all pissed off today about this (he generally thinks tv is the devil, but it doesn't stop him watching it when there's something on that HE likes)

Muttered something about how he doesn't want to poison her with 'that shite' - yes, it was 'Loose Women' so he does have a point - but he's not the one who spends hours entertaining and breastfeeding her..

"well, quite clearly you're a much better mother than me."

this comes across as defensive.

apologies for the shower comment, i read it in another post on the thread and assumed it was from you but upon re-reading your op i see that you never said that.

i dont think you should feel guilty, just take on board that it might have a not so great effect on your DD.

i have a 6 month old and a 4 year old, i know how precious alone time is. i dont come here to criticise, just get advice and support like you have done.

""well, quite clearly you're a much better mother than me."

this comes across as defensive."

More like self-pitying, Booyhoo...

Am I harming my 6 week old DD by having the tv on during the day - for keeping me entertained during the long feeds (she rarely keeps her eyes on me for more than the first few minutes of a feed), or while she's sleeping? It never occured to me that this could be such a bad thing up to now. She ignores it at the moment, unless she spots the changing colours, but that will probably change over the next few weeks.

If she's awake she has the bouncy chair view of me peeing, doing laundry, etc.

"if she's awake she has the bouncy chair view of me peeing"

there's a name for it!!

Quick question...I BF and watch TV while I do this. DD (4 months) sometimes turns her head to see what the noise and lights are all about. Also when she gets very fussy but isn't quite tired enough for sleep, I sit her on my knee to bounce her and she often turns to watch TV. Would you count this as "watching" TV?

She tends not to look impressed

What about those of us with older DC who watch TV when they come home from school?
My DD is 8 now and always watches an hour of kids TV after school before she does her homework and violin practice.
Should I stop her from doing this just because there is a 7 month old baby in the room?
As it happens DS is totally oblivious of the TV most of the time and is much more interested in trying to eat the rug...

i felt guilty the other day because ds was sleeping in his cot and the window blew shut and woke him. WTF? comes with the territory i'm afraid. wish it didnt.

YANBU

mickey mouse club house saved my sanity!

Minshu and cardigan: the link I posted earlier has some good resources, so you can read and make up your own mind.

www.seattlechildrens.org/media/press-release/2009/06/004760/ is a link to US research which found that when the TV was on, caregivers spoke to and interacted with babies less - and this is for babies aged two months and up. Now....this does not mean that the TV should never be on, or that it is harmful to have the TV on for mum to watch when she is feeding.

It is a question of common sense, surely...if the TV is on all the time, even as background, then it is not a good thing for speech and learning, but in individual families, there may be other stuff that lessens the effect of TV because it is not on 'all the time' and the babies are talked to and interacted with a lot despite the TV.

Seems to me that a mum watching TV/DVD while feeding is interacting with her baby anyway - and not watching the TV during long feeds can be very boring. I certainly watched TV or read or talked to someone else or listened to the radio (earphones in) at night.

What about channels like BabyTV with very basic colours and shapes, slow movements and songs? Or are they evil too?

I don't see much harm with a baby viewing programmes that are designed for them, as long as you don't sit them very close to the television or in a position where they have no choice but to view the television, don't leave them in front of it for prolonged periods of time and intersperse the television with games and interaction. Usually I will have the television on while I fold washing/tidy the lounge/insert other chore here and I take breaks to go over and play/make faces/talk to him and obviously respond to him while I'm doing chores every time he makes a sound. He has toys on his chair as well so his focus is not always on the television but also on closer interactive things. Some things on the programmes interest him, some don't, he isn't 'mesmerised' by everything.

I think a lot of mothers do this. I honestly hadn't heard about the research against television for babies, and I have got lots of baby literature...I've just developed this practice by using what I believed to be 'common sense'. I don't think I'm going to stop these habits, to be honest - I'm not sure that a bit of television is going to hinder my child's chances of going to university, or am I thinking like a mother of the 80s, before what my aunt referred to today as 'psychobabble'? Is there any weight in the argument that our generation hasn't seemed to have suffered for a little Dallas-viewing at a tender age? Or do studies say it has?

Mcsnail, I have a 2 month old DD who is very unsettled too and won't lie under a baby gym or sit in her chair happily.

I found out by accident that she loves the sound of the hoover. This morning I had the hoover sat in the lounge turned on for a good half hour while I got a quick bite to eat.

Sometimes you just have to do what you've got to do.

I am finding this all a bit frustrating to be honest! No one is saying TV is 'evil'. If people want to find out what the research says, then the links I have posted are a good starting point.

'Baby TV' and anything purporting to be especially for babies is probably harmless in small doses - but there is no good evidence that they encourage learning or develpment, according to this: www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/03/babies.watch.TV/index.html

This has very little to do with whether or not your baby gets into University - it's abut basic stuff like communication, relationships, social development, language skills....all of which, says the research, are hindered by too much TV, too young.

www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.asp?slug=ADHD%20Toddlers - this is from a campaigning organisation with an agenda, but the research it reports on is sound.

I've been thinking worrying about this for a bit as I have done the same with my ds. I always thought that yes tv would be damaging if you just plonked your baby in front of it and did nothing else with them but if you did plenty of interactive games, talking, reading and singing with your baby and you have plenty of smiley eye contact then it would be ok.

I have gone through some of the research and there is evidence that the education of the parents also plays a part in the child's development.

I am by no means advocating all day crap telly, but the odd few minutes here and there won't hurt as I am confident I am going to do the best I can to help my child's language and development in other ways. For me banning the telly completely is unrealistic as we all have times when we want to watch the odd thing even when the children are around. As someone has already said breastfeeding for hours on end is less than stimulating boring for mum

Who has suggested 'banning the telly completely', radstar? Answer: no one on this thread.

Who has suggested that the 'odd few minutes here and there' would hurt? Answer: no one on this thread.

Thanks for the links, tiktok. Will take a look. Too much tv is probably worse for me than DD at the mo

memoo - my 4 month old DS has only recently started to feel completely settled on his baby gym. He used to cry as soon as I placed him on it but has grown to love it - now he is perpetually smiling and giggling whilst on it, so give it time. He has also always loved the sound of the hoover - and hairdryers. It's white noise that reminds them of the type of sounds they heard while in the womb.

I think there is an enormous amount of pressure on mothers these days. So many studies and so many media reports frightening us that we are damaging our beloved in everyday ways - it's a minefield picking your way through. My grandmother's generation shared the role of parenting amongst extended family members - aunts, sisters, grandmothers all chipping in to help the new mum - but now that families are often more widely dispersed, the reality is that a lot of mums are stuck at home on their own, trying to catch half an hour to themselves. I know that I am going to be healthier, more content and less frustrated - which has ramifications for every aspect of my life - if I am able to have a shower and eat something in the day. Are you supposed to be play with babies every minute that they're awake? Is a baby left to entertain themselves for a short period going to be underdeveloped and insecure?

tiktok - I'm not directing my posts at you, by the way!

yanbu - like thisxgirl said lots of our generation probably watched telly at a young age!

It's the amount of interaction, which is diminished by tv, that is important. So, in itself, tv isn't bad, but maintaining interaction with the baby is important for language acquisition.

So, for a time when you can't interact much, anyway (e.g. 'cos you're getting food), tv is not necessarily going to be worse than anything else. I reckon.

I totally sympathise - as a single mum I never get a break to shower, wee, drink tea, ever, and it does your nut in.

But I am kind of scared by how much the TV attracts DS's gaze... (he is five months)

I will sometimes have TV on while he is in the room, usually at the end of the afternoon when I'm running out of energy and ideas for myself.

But I wouldn't leave him watching it. I just don't like it. And as others have said, studies show it's not great.

For showers etc I sit him in the bathroom sink, lined with a big towel for comfort. It entertains both of us out of all proportion to how funny it actually is. For tea and wees I basically tear my hair out, or do it to the sound effect of him crying for me to return. Sigh.

Anecdotally, my sister used to let the TV babysit all three of her DCs from babyhood. One is just entering her third year at university and doing very well, one is a teenage tearaway, and the other is a lovely little six year old who likes markets and the park. So you know, maybe it won't hurt. But it's not great. Parenting is one long guilt trip, eh?

I now feel awful for all the box sets I watched while pinned to the sofa breastfeeding for days and days.

I sometimes have the TV on for the news as we're getting dinner on the table.

That said, my 13 month old has a bigger vocab than some 2 y/ear olds, so maybe I shouldn't worry so much?

I carry her in a sling everywhere and talk to her all the time and she's carried/played with/interacted with all the time by one of us.

It's still sent a chill through me, reading this.

Oh, I second the taking baby to the loo. And I cook wearing my baby on my back, or now she's a toddler, giving her a pan with wooden veg and a spoon to play with.

I think when people are talking about their babies 'watching TV' its more them looking at it periodically over a period of thirty minutes rather than the baby fixed staring at the screen, I dont know know about everyone elses baby but mine has an attention span of about 5 minutes so would never stare at anything for longer than that!

I used to put DD3 in front of the TV in her swing so I could bolt down my dinner, either that or eat one handed whilst watching 2 toddlers at the same time.

As soon as she was able to sit up she was up in the highchair eating with us for it was possibly only for a few months.

We have a bit of TV when I am making dinner now, the other two will watch but DD3 who is 16 months usually wanders off to play.

I have a friend whose TV is on 24/7 blaring Cbeebies in the background, the DC aren't watching it half the time but if she tried to turn it off the 4yo has a fit. She is always going on about what good sleepers they are, the 4yo goes to bed at 7 but watches at least one DVD before going to sleep, she is obsessed with the TV.