To think it's ok to let 3 month old 'watch' tv?

[McSnail]

My three month old child is mesmerised by the images on tv - it can keep her occupied for half hour slots, which is an absolute godsend. It means that I can do things like go for a wee, make a cup of tea, get dressed and clean the top layer of filth from the tip that my flat has become since having a baby (you know how it is)

Anyway - bloke got all pissed off today about this (he generally thinks tv is the devil, but it doesn't stop him watching it when there's something on that HE likes)

Muttered something about how he doesn't want to poison her with 'that shite' - yes, it was 'Loose Women' so he does have a point - but he's not the one who spends hours entertaining and breastfeeding her..

My DD Had colic from 3 weeks to 4 months - I would have gone insane without Cbeebies - it was the only thing that took her mind off it.

I'm having a bit of a paranoia attack now! I don't think my DD1 ever watched TV until maybe 18 months or so (and then just the occasional episode of Pingu or something), but it's the issue that Framey raised that bothers me. I tend to let my DDs watch half an hour or so of TV most days after school while I prepare their supper. So as DS (7 months) is usually in the room with the girls while they are watching TV and simultaneously keeping him happy and occupied, I'm worried about all this now..... It kind of freaks me out as I would never have let DD1 be exposed to TV in that way and yet it has crept up on me so that now DS does

But surely when you're breastfeeding and watching TV, the baby isn't watching it, because s/he's feeding? I can't believe that's a problem, and am certainly not going to berate myself for taking the opportunity to watch two series of The Wire while on mat leave and feeding many, many times throughout the day. I did occasionally wonder if DS would be influenced in some way by all the offensive language but for most of it he was blissfully milk-drunk or asleep

I also 'use' BabyTV at the end of the day as a wind-down in the last half hour before bed. Haven't read the link about this yet but it will be interesting to see what they say about it as hopefully less harmful. I didn't aspire to it actually being educational, just that it was more age-appropriate.

I have usually 2 hours of being up and about with my DS before I take him to nursery in the morning. Do those posters who are non-TV users just not have anything in the background during this time? What about radio? I have the TV on but do also talk to and play with my DS. I am currently trying to do the half hour a day total focus on him that is recommended in the 'BabyTalk' book, so when he gets in from nursery we do that and the TV stays off. Would find it harder to get by in the mornings though.

What's the deal with music or radio? I have Radio 4 on alot, which is just talk, or Radio 3 but it doesn't stop me interacting, just something I'm so, so used to having on, right from childhood (was an only child and it kept me company)

I'd feel quite weird to have no background noise for part of the time but if my kid needs silence, then so be it.

It's not loud and doesn't stop me interacting but if on some deep level its delaying language then I should stop, shouldn't I.

I think we all need to calm down a bit. I don't think half an hour of telly will do any harm, nor will the occassional mcdonalds or fruit shoot!!! All day is another issue but we all know that already.

I don't think we need to freak out about some television here and there. Everything that has been described in this thread seems okay to me. I imagine that I watched quite a bit of television when I was a baby - my mum was quite lazy and unnatural at motherhood, used to tie me into my pushchair when I was a toddler for long periods so that she could do her housework - and I got a First BA(Hons) in English and consider communication and language to be my strong areas. Terrible at Maths, mind you! My point is, the exposure to television and lack of interaction - my mum was my primary carer, father got home late from work, realistically I would have spent some hours without interaction - apparently did not hinder my ability to communicate or develop language skills. I imagine many parents in the 80s had this style of parenting - hell, people smoked while cradling their babies so I'm sure mothers thought nothing of leaving a baby with the television. There just wasn't the information available that there is now. Is my generation significantly different from any before it in terms of these skills? The biggest influence on my understanding of language came later in life, with a love of reading and when I became intelligent enough to grasp more sophisticated language, my mum would test me on my vocabulary.

Obviously you have to have plenty of 'play' time and talking and singing throughout the day to counterbalance. If I'm feeding DS and he seems to be interested in the television, I turn him away and chatter away at him. We don't watch television together: sitting together time is interaction time. I never let him watch anything other than BabyTV or other such channels. I make sure he has toys so that the television is not commanding his attention.

eightieschick what does the book say about the half hour focus on baby?

Just read the research, people...don't compare yourselves to today's babies. We didn't even have all day telly - breakfast TV started in the mid-80s. The all-day TV on and watching it by babies is new to the human species.

Babies and toddlers exposed to television score less well on many scales - and it's dose related (the more tv = the greater effect). Obviously this does not mean that every baby exposed to a lot of TV can never get a degree. The effect cannot be predicted in every individual.

The BabyTalk book is based on the work of Sally Ward (she died a couple of years ago) who carried out extensive research into language development of children in Manchester and London, and devised a programme to encourage parents to interact with their babies...she was one of many professionals dismayed at the effect of television on the language and social skills of pre-school children.

There's no need for anyone to beat themselves up about a bit of TV - but nor does it make sense to say there's nothing to worry about and we all turned out ok and what a fuss about nothing blah blah blah....

I do think half an hour is a long time, and it's an early age BUT YANBU to do it, because it didn't occur to you it would be a problem.

It also (I think) depends hugely on the baby/child. DS1 (just turned 4) has always watched a lot of TV, and we had a period recently where he would sulk if he couldn't. It lasted about 6 weeks and now he barely watches any.

I read recently that a child that watches 2or more hours a day of tv (not at 3 months!) uses 700 less words a day. This seriously made me consider upping the amount that DS1 watches. When he's not watching telly he is articulating like a 6/7 year old, constantly imagining/discovering, trying to write, reading etc etc., and it makes me very proud, but also drives me insane.

I am not worried about any of his skills.

DS2 is only 4 months old, but I can already see that he reacts differently to tv, and finds it confronting...so I keep him away from it, and don't use it as a way of buying time.

So, you have to use your judgement, I believe, and make sure that you are closely watching their reactions. I guess I wouldn't worry about what he's watched so far, but would maybe use it for more limited amounts of time in future. (Do you like this fence I'm sitting on? I made it myself.....)

Tiktok, thanks again for all the links of research you have provided. I think that every child will be affected differently, and it's up to us as parents to pay attention to what we intuit as harmful, watching their reactions as Jackaroo suggests. Personally, I'd consider the zoning out/mesmerised behaviour as an indicator of danger.

That said, we all do what we need to do to get through the day. Let's just be honest about it and not say "well, a little won't hurt," or "everyone does it so it's normal and therefore okay," or as Tiktok said, "I watched tv and I turned out fine, therefore there's nothing wrong with babies watching tv."

Just to add another link to the research - here is a recently published study in the American Academy of Paediatrics about TV watching in babies.

They have found a positive link between TV watching under the age of 2 and ADHD developing by age 7. The issue so much is not what is being watched but the medium itself - the speed with which the images change interferes with the development of neural pathways in a babies' brain (their brains are only fully developed by 2) and according to this study they become frustrated by the "slow" speed of real life.

Also, TV has a hypnotic effect and lulls them into an unnatural state of passivity.. (now how can that be a bad thing i find myself wondering ).

But there does seem to be some strong scientific medically based research to consider, check out the link below...

www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.asp?slug=ADHD%20Toddlers

Whoops sorry, I see tiktok has posted that link already - please ignore!

YANBU. CBeebies has its place as long as children arent plonked in front of it from the minute they wake until bedtime. DS1 was only 11months old when DS2 was born and CBeebies was a godsend. Recovering from a c-section, it helped me get through the day and they were very long days in the beginnning.

MCSnail - lol at the "mouthbreatther watching jeremy kyle" - thats my DH on his days off. he thinks I dont know but DS1 tells me that Daddy was watching tv after breakfast (on a usual day the TV is only on between getting up and breakfast and between 5-6pm)

thisxgirl excellent post, agree with what you said 100%

An interesting study by Christakis, (see Tiktok's post) more so because it was longitudinal and excellent attempts were made to control for a huge number of variables including SES. As he said there were others he could not control for including that a more easily distractable infant might be soothed by television more than others and that parents with a shorter attention span might use tv more often. (It is worth noting that the infants were not examined - although of course they would be too young for any objective behavioural indicators of ADHD etc). More recent research has demonstrated the strong familial link with probable genetic cause.

Anyway! Can you tell this is an area closely aligned with the work I do? And...that I could be a bit (ok alot) of a bore!.

For those who use the tv for a short while (and consider the volume) but hug and talk to their babes lots don't feel stressed! It is not possible to be a 'perfect' mum - 'good enough' most of the time will do me!

If you are very intrigued by the wider debate about technology and childhood I would really recommend David Buckingham's work as an excellent UK academic. His book www.amazon.co.uk/Digital-Generations-Children-Young-People/dp/0805859802/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books& qid=1258546853&sr=1-2 is excellent. He notes that a similar moral panic seized parents and authority when books came out in print as those surrounding radio, television and Internet - quite amusing in some ways! Having met him I know he would agree with everyone here - don't use TV too much and be careful about what young people watch. He is however, very pragmatic! We ahve talked about youngsters watching Waterloo Road (fab but dreadful if you know what I mean) and thinks better to let them watch it if their school friends are...but with an adult to laugh at some of the more incredible story lines.

Oh I really am rambling now! OP don't worry too much. You are aware that too much tv (like too much chocolate) is a bad thing and I am sure you will find a balance without having a nervous breakdown bought on by the stress of being a bad mum! Now the Internet...a whole other story wait for that one!

Thanks gonnabehappy, I was just about to drown my head in a bucket of parental guilt.

guilt my arse, you do whatever gets you through the day in one piece.
Or you do what you can in between the several hours a day of beating yourself with a big stick of neurotic parenting that seems to be mandated these days, one free with each baby......sheesh

Can anyone still tell me if radio is ok? Not blaring pop or shouting shock jocks, but nice middle class radio 3 and 4?

I think the isolation of being a first-time mum on extended mat leave is bad enough without feeling I can't have the Today programme on over breakfast.

nothing wrong with a bit of tv

dc now 16mths always had a funny hour 5-6 when she was 8weeks old and i stuck her infront of tv and backyardigans always calmed her

I suppose loud radio all the time with no talking would be bad - but I really can't see how listening to radio four at times (or even radio one for that matter) can cause any problems. For heaven's sake what about the babes reared in factories over last century, war zones now?

Methinks we all worry too much, my youngest is 11 now, I have three boys and I am so convinced that that characters and little foibles are written in their genetic material. I would like to think my parenting skills (ha ha) and their environment plays a part in the adults they become...but not as much as I thought when as a professional but non-parent child psychologist!

Babies reared in war zones were and are massively damaged by the experience. I don't see the point of using this as a comparison.

No one on this thread has suggested that radio programmes are harmful.

However, there is research to show that too much TV, too young, is harmful. This is not controversial, and it can be used to inform parents so they can adapt their lifestyle...pretending that it's just another stick to beat parents with instead, and can be ignored, is an option, of course.

Babies and toddlers watching too much TV, even 'mesmerised' by it, are risking harm...no, it's probably not as harmful as being brought up with bombs flying overhead, but as I say, I don't find that a relevant or especially comforting comparison!

I don't see what the big deal is. I let my child watch it at that age and she LOVED it! Now she walks backwards and into walls.....J/K!!!! My daughter is 18months now and loves cbeebies and Nick JR.. She even learns things from the tv, she learned to say peppa (pig). She even learned a sign from Justin off of something special. If you have SKY tv then try the baby channel that is just for little ones. My lil one is so used to watching dreamy journey that now, a yr later, it helps calm her down b/f bedtime. So stuff what others say, I think its educational and there will always be people telling you what/what not to do with your children. You know whats best for your own!!

Hi mommymeggie, is your recent post intended to imply "ignore the research, you know better?" Are you making this comment after having read tiktok's links, or are you are ignoring tiktok's links?

Quite right about war zones, I was thinking more about evacuees (another story!) when I typed...a clumsy analogy. Interesting though to consider some of the articulate and highly intelligent people who have suffered such deprivation.

Radio - I was answering Doris. But, maybe I misinterpreted exasperation as a question?

You are right and I don't think anyone has ever suggested that 'too much tv, too young' is anything but harmful. And you have been quite clear that interaction with the infant is the crucial element and I wholeheartedly agree. It is however so difficult on the basis of some useful and some flawed research too determine how much is too much and what circumstances. I do not not think there is suffuicent information, and certainly not sufficent contextualised information, to worry some of the people here who like all of us are so anxious to give our families the best we can. I feared that the link you gave (the research completed in 2002) was a little out of date now and whilst very useful the summary available on the link did not contain many of the criticisms the authors and others have leveled at the findings.

You seem a little fed up - but perhaps my interpretation of online communication here! I do have a bug bear about research being presented as fact when most only generates clues. And as for much of the research reported in the popular and broadsheet press who like to imply causal relationships to help their circulation - well that just makes me mad!

In short, I agreed with what you said - but not the link, at least did not see it as the most credible source of information. Incidentally the American Academy has made something of a habit of jumping on bandwagons and then finding that they need not have been so dogmatic especially as regards technology. Tricky job though - bit like social workers who frequently have to go overboard in order to protect a few. Neither is a job I would relish!

Actually quick aside, much media for young people is way too much like a war zone. Horrible. I can remember always turning off the news when my children were watching, even when babes, if they learn from looking at my face and my actions I do not want them learning form the six o'clock news. Personally, lack of interaction aside, it is the content that troubles me far more than length of time.