To think that I am NOT "too posh to push"!!!

[Jacksmama]

Brief history: DS born last Feb. Forceps delivery, massive tearing and blood loss and subsequent repair op this past Feb. It's left me with the occasional incontinence issue (see Sphincter Injury thread ).

Today, at work, a patient asks me "so when are you having another?

Me: "It's doubtful I will."

Pt: "Oh, you can't be that mean to him, he needs a sibling!"
(FFS!!!! Don't get me started on that, either!!)

Me: "He needs a living, healthy mother more."

Pt: "Well, often second babies fall right out, it'd be much easier than your first birth."

Me: (through gritted teeth) "I am probably not having another, but if I did, it would be a moot point as it would have to be a C-section."

Pt: "Oh no, you don't have to do that, really, second babies are so much easier!!"

Me: "I - Do - Not - Have - The - Option - Of - Any - More -Natural - Births."

Pt: "Oh well, if you're scared..."

Me: "Yes, I'd be bloody scared after what I've been through and so would you!!"

Pt: "Not me, I had four and I wasn't too posh to push."

I am so fcking angry I could scream. She has no idea. None. Fck, I'm so mad I could cry. Why do people make these judgments???

Some people have easy births I think and have no idea what crap some mums go through to give birth.

I've had the too posh to push comments a few times but I let it wash over me. DS would have died was it not for an em cs, and dd was a planned cs as it was the only way out.

Ignore & deep breaths.

YANBU to think that people should butt out.

YABU to engage in conversation about it though. Next time someone asks, just smile and say 'oh we'll see' or something similarly vague.

I don't understand the context though - a patient asked you this? You're a dr, nurse?

Chiropractor.

Why do people think such personal subjects are their business. You were very restrained considering, what a bloody rude b..ch

Oh fuck her, she obviously doesn't have a clue. If you've had a relatively straightforward time of something, it can be difficult to see why others have such a problem with it... if you're 6 years old. Otherwise, you should realise you don't know everything and shut the fuck up.

And he doesn't need a sibling, what the fuck does she know?

(have I said fuck enough? am on your behalf)

That's horrible. Poor you! YANBU. I'm sure she didn't realise what upsetting comment she was making but it doens't make it any better for you. Plus I don't like smug people and she sounds a bit smug about it being easy for her!

Oh believe me, I've tried the "we'll see" approach - people won't leave that alone, either.

No please go ahead and say "fuck" a few more times for me, I haven't sworn nearly enough

Oh God some people who have had straightforward births have absolutely NO IDEA (cf homebirth thread storm raging atm) and are just plain ignorant. Please don't let it upset you, she is obviously living in her own small word and has never opened up her ears and mind and properly listened to the reality of what birth complications entails. Feel sorry for her, she is quite clearly rather dim.

I would personally like to throttle the journo (no doubt male) who coined the phrase "too posh to push". It is offensive.

YANBU but next time do the smile and no thing. Some people really are insensitive and even if you had told her the full story she still wouldn't have changed tack.

Fucking fuckhead nosy fucking bitch.
For fucks sake.

How's that, mum?

I see you're a chiropractor...maybe you should have 'accidentally' rammed her spine out of place, and gone 'Oh look, you're writhing on the floor in unimaginable agony. That doesn't normally happen. You must be deficient in some way.'

fuck her fuck her fuck her

Tell erh you used to be a man and that's why you can't give birth naturally.
She won't ask again.

(YANBU BTW, but trying to raise a )

ROFL at InMyLittleHead and JB!!!
I needed that laugh.

JB, did you go back to the "There goes the entente cordiale thread after posting on it?

I would have said that I'd been left infertile. That would have shut the old bag up

Some people have no idea when to just drop the fucking subject! I've had two em c-sections now and still get people trotting out the 'too posh to push' nonsense.

I am extremely for you.

Would you believe this - I once replied to someone "no, I can't have any more" (because I was tired of the 20 questions and just wanted her to shut up) and she said, "oh, they can do amazing things with medical science now"... WTF - can people just not say "oh, I'm sorry" and leave it at that????

FUCK!!!!

Alternative retort to 'I'm not too posh to push': 'No, I can...see that.' Then sniff and turn away.

She's a twat. I bet she never fucking shuts up about her four natural births, tedious witch.

Two emergencies, one elective. I have been known to tell people I'm just too posh to push. That tends to stop it before it even starts. And I practice saying: "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." And have been known to actually say it. With a smile on my face.

I had the same, I just said yes I was much too posh to push. End of conversation.

YANBU.

FFS when do patients get off commenting on your personal life. As a health professional, i try to keep conversation light hearted & neutral and dont push the point.

FWIW when i was pregnant with DS2 people asked me when i was due and because I had an elective c-section, i was able to say "he is due on 2nd September". i had a few too posh to push comments but my response was simply that one baby with a skull fracture was quite enough and i wasnt taking any chances second time around. that actually shut them up.

Ignore the ignorant twat

I've had two natural labours (if you want to call them that) and my second was more painful.

I'm due to give birth again and was terrified until I started practicing hypnobirthing and now I'm looking forward to it.

Every women and baby is different - ask anyone. It must have been awhile since that woman bore her children because she would know that herself. Or she is just really lucky so if she is whoopy woo for her!

Since becoming a mother I have become less judgemental towards people and I just dont understand other mothers who think they know it all and insist on telling other mothers how to do things.

Its just so insensitive.

I am in a large group of friends with small children, newborns and pregnant. We all do everything differently, some of us bf, some never wanted to try, we discipline our kids our own way, etc... whatever we think about how the other one is doing it we keep it to ourselves unless asked for advice. If it works for you then great but it might not for someone else.

If she bothers you about this again I would say, "To be honest, I dont really want to discuss this again." and that should just shut her up!

Thanks, you're all making me feel better .

No more Jacksmama. She really isn't worth it.

Here's some inspiration for next time someone gives you shit because they have an issue with the way in which you and your baby narrowly avoided death - I am currently channelling this man

here - offensive but cathartic. Don't click if you don't like swearing