To think that I am NOT "too posh to push"!!!

[Jacksmama]

Brief history: DS born last Feb. Forceps delivery, massive tearing and blood loss and subsequent repair op this past Feb. It's left me with the occasional incontinence issue (see Sphincter Injury thread ).

Today, at work, a patient asks me "so when are you having another?

Me: "It's doubtful I will."

Pt: "Oh, you can't be that mean to him, he needs a sibling!"
(FFS!!!! Don't get me started on that, either!!)

Me: "He needs a living, healthy mother more."

Pt: "Well, often second babies fall right out, it'd be much easier than your first birth."

Me: (through gritted teeth) "I am probably not having another, but if I did, it would be a moot point as it would have to be a C-section."

Pt: "Oh no, you don't have to do that, really, second babies are so much easier!!"

Me: "I - Do - Not - Have - The - Option - Of - Any - More -Natural - Births."

Pt: "Oh well, if you're scared..."

Me: "Yes, I'd be bloody scared after what I've been through and so would you!!"

Pt: "Not me, I had four and I wasn't too posh to push."

I am so fcking angry I could scream. She has no idea. None. Fck, I'm so mad I could cry. Why do people make these judgments???

hey you jacksmama

bloody amazing that someone is so rude as to make personal comments about how you give birth! This type of thing makes me so pissy
(Forceps, no pain killer and cut and torn to a different shape lol - i have every sympathy for you)

Too posh to push - I ask you

yes I know I could be fucking stupid, deranged from my first experience or driven mad by the subsequent damage my poor old body shows

But please be free to correct me if I am wrong but isnt the whole point of giving birth a healthy baby no matter how they pop out? be it suction, jimmyed out, pushed out or c - sectioned out. Who cares as long as the baby in question is okay?

I knew someone who had a 10lb baby as her first and when she was boasting about how she did it in 2 hrs and no stitches some wit was heard to say i wouldnt be boasting about that love!

When i was constantly being asked when we were going to start a family I got tired of it in the end and just said why when are you next having sex?

sending you hugs because you have been through a very traumatic experience and one they dont tend to warn you of before hand and even less do you get help with it afterwards.

My first was elective - because I wanted it that way. Second will be too. Don't really care what people think of that! No ones business but yours how you give birth.

"when are you next having sex?" miki!

I once read a post on another forum in which the writer expressed the view that anyone who does have a VB is stupid, as the option of CS is there. I seem to remember it contained the line 'I'm not too posh to push, I'm just to smart to stretch'. It seemed a rather revoltingly smug thing to say, as it isn't anyone else's business how your DC arrived in the world, and either way doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else.

Take no notice of the silly cow.
I hope that made sense.

It drives me mad how many people have an opinion on other people's birth choices

I had similar from a friend of mine

I had an em c/s first time round for foetal distress.

Second time round I decided to try VBAC, but other than DH no one (apart from medical staff obviously ) was aware of this, none of their business.

At 10days overdue, with my BP rising, 2 failed sweeps & DS having disengaged & gone into an oblique lie, I reluctantly agreed to an el c/s. DS was 10lb10.5oz, consultant said if I ever had gone into labour, it was highly unlikely I would have been able to deliver naturally without some serious damage to me due to his position/size. I ended up with a massive PPH to boot & was minutes away from being opened up again when they finally stopped it.

When this friend said "Oh so you were too posh to push AGAIN, and took the easy route" she got such an ear blasting, I don't think she will ever judge anyone's birth choices again

If people had an easy time they should count their lucky stars and keep their mouths SHUT

YANBU

I had a very late EMCS as I did not want to be thought of as "too posh to push". DS was undiagnosed back to back footling breech and my obstinance nearly killed him. FFS, what is it to do with her???????? I really do not belive that an NHS doc would do a CS unless it was necesary.

The important thing is that you have your Jack (I'm guessing) and I have my DS and they are alive and well - and if Jack is like DS, then just about into EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Didn't reply earlier as I was too busy drinking wine while I watched Dr Who. The truth is you're far too posh to push this women's muscles around my dear.

I'll make you a voodoo dolly on t'other thread.

This thread has made my blood pressure rise.

'Too posh to push' has to be one of the most irritating phrases in the English language.

Why are people so reliably irritating? When pregnant friends tell you about their hopes for childbirth/labour choices, would it kill you to listen, ask questions, and affirm them whatever path they're on? Well, would it?

Sorry ladies, forgot myself for a moment there

ThingOne - LOL!!!!!!!! I should copy this thread into the Ragged Bums thread, give everyone a laugh...

YANBU. I loathe both the phrase "too posh to push" and the way that complete strangers are apparently qualified to tell you, sometimes years after the fact, how you could have acheived a natural delivery. With no medical knowledge, and without actually having been present at your labour. Ridiculous. The important thing is a healthy baby and mother.

We're all conditioned to be polite so when someone says something astonishingly rude, the appropriate reply doesn't come easily, only often becoming clear at about 3am. Plenty of suggestions on here though...

Slightly off the main topic, but children do not "need" siblings and can have perfectly happy childhoods and grow up well-adjusted without them (only child myself and I don't think I'm particularly freakish).

My DS2 was much bigger than DS1 and the delivery much, much harder and longer which ended in a 3rd degree tear. I thought I would waltz through the second birth after a relatively easy first but, honestly, if I had had DS2 first there would never have been a second one.

People who have not been through the trauma of a difficult birth really do not 'get it' so please do not let those idiots get to you.